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Thread: Did I do the right thing?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
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    Did I do the right thing?

    So me and my ex broke up four weeks ago. we had a bad break up, to the point where during our last argument she left me stranded 35 miles away from home. We/ve been through a lot throughout our relationship and at times I wasn't giving my all in the relationship but I didn't think i deserved that. There was no cheating from both sides when we were together. I knew she had lots of guy friends, she asked me when we started dating if i wanted her to stop talking to them, I told her no because i trust she has our best interest at heart and I trusted her and had no issue with that at all.

    After our last argument, I wasn't speaking to her at all, till she texted two weeks ago and needed help to move in to her new place. I helped her along with her uncle that week end, then that following Tuesday she called and say she wasn't comfortable at her new place and asked if I could come stay a couple nights till she got comfortable. I agreed, I was only going to stay for one or two nights, then she ended up getting pretty sick that Tuesday night. I came the next night and I took care of her cleaning up her vomits and making sure she was ok. I stayed Wed, fri, sat, sun and half the day on Monday. she was sick the entire time, and on top of that her best friend died on Thursday of that week. I spent the whole night at the hospital on Sunday night with her. I cleaned and scrubbed that place pretty well during that time.

    Since she was very sick and couldn't really talk, she asked me to answer her text messages and phone calls.While answering her messages one day, one text message from a guy piqued my interest. It turned out since we broke up, she was sexting and sending nude pictures and he did the same to some guy she used to deal with when she lived close to him before she moved back home, they were talking about him coming down to visit and her going to see him so they could have sex, and how they miss each other. They call each other baby, boo, sexy and so on. The messages were pretty graphic, they were talking about threesomes, anal, peeing on her, choking slapping her and so on. From the messages, they did some stuff back in the day. It didn't bother me at all when I read those messages. That's her business, we are no longer together. I am also talking to someone else.


    SO Monday after I got her and took her home from the hospital, she asked me to keep a spare key of her house. Why did she want me to have a spare key? I feel like she's no longer my concern and I probably did more than I should have by agreeing to help her in the first place. I still care about her as a friend and that's why I agreed to help her move in. We've know each other for 12 years, dated for 1 year. At this point I am moving on . Yesterday she was at work and got sick again, they sent her home, she sent me a text saying she needed me to come take her of her. I basically told her she was on her own and that she needed to find someone else to take care of her. I also have a date today. Excuse my English, Spanish is my first language.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Surrey, BC
    Posts
    15,542
    I guess she is having trouble standing on her own two feet and has come to depend on your kindness. My hat is off to you sir for telling her "no" so she knows there is going be boundaries with this friendship. Honesty goes a long way doesn't it. In other words yes you did the right thing in letting her know where you stand.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    14,110
    Yes, good you FINALLY told her no. She wants you in the same capacity she's always had you. Time to stop being her everything except her romantic partner. pfffft.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

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