need advice: long-distance relationship, big age gap, different nationality

[Princess Amale]

Hi, All...

Just wanna air out some things in my mind and I am hoping that someone out there might have some similar relationship concerns or difficulty.. maybe you could give me a piece of your mind..

I met this guy through an online dating site.. he sent me an email.. he was nice so I replied... anyway.. things went smooth and somehow, we got to know each other through emails every single day (for about 2 months now)

I find him nice, sensible, smart and "from the looks" of it, sincere in really having a stable, serious and happy relationship..

The guy is about 23 years older than me and he's Dutch... I am Filipina.. it may not sound too new for me as I had a bf who was british some months back.. (well, that relationship didn't last too long, though we saw each other once in a while.. I had to break up with him 'cause I found out later on, he was married)

Anyway... this guy I am getting fond of (the Dutch guy) seems really determined to see what possibilities we have... there are some apparent issues like diff. nationality/culture, age (he is 57, I am 34) and the distance between us (though he say he can move over to Manila to spend time with me)...

I am quite anxious about how to deal with this.. I have to admit, I started to like him and I can see the feeling is mutual... three weeks ago, he told me he's coming over to Manila to meet me this coming holy week (long vacation)...

I am trying to assess if I am simply too lonely to be happy with what I "have" (and its possibilities) at the moment... or should I consider myself lucky enough to meet someone who is true and sincere enough to have a relationship?

I have been separated for 3 years now (I have two kids, both with their dad, so I am living alone)... I don't really flirt around and I prefer a serious relationship... unfortunately, it isn't as easy to find someone here in manila who would take someone like me seriously... I don't intend to demean myself, but let's face it, most Filipino guys have that kind of thinking about women who are either separated or a single mom... it's like a demerit on our part...

Anyway... hope to get some of of your thoughts on this (I'd really appreciate it..)

Thanks and have a good day!
Princess A

[vashti]

I would need a whole lot of personal references from very respectable people before I decided to do something like this... it just seems kind of creepy that such a fabulous catch couldn't find anyone closer to home, espcially given that women outnumber men in that age range. I'd be questioning his motives if I were you. What kind of grown man is willing to leave his home country to chase after a woman?

Also, I think you should be very concerned about the age gap. I know you are a grown woman, but I still think he's way too old for you.

On the other hand, I don't see what you have to lose by simply meeting him (other than your optimism) as long as you aren't laying out any money. I wouldn't let him stay with you when he visits, and I would be really careful about your safety. I would really look into seeing what you can find out about him from other sources before you meet with him, and I would definitely keep him away from your children.

[vashti]

I just can't do it, even if it means I am a pessimist.

I just can't see this being a good idea. Ignore the last paragraph of my previous post.