Love online?

[Jayjay]

Hey all,

I have started emailing a guy. I knew exactly who he was before we started mailing - I've also been honest about who I am.

At first we just began mailing over a common interest but gradually it's gotten more personal than that. Asking one another about other interests and our personal situations.

I have been unhappily married for a long time. He knows this. Meanwhile has been divorced a few years.


Recently in emails he's begun to ask me what I want out of life, telling me that happiness and love are more important than all the other stuff and has been making it pretty clear he is looking for love.

Trouble is I am not sure yet whether he is simply confiding in and/or advising me as a friend - or whether he is trying to tell me he wants a relationship with me.

He seems like a wonderful guy and if I were free I would be hoping he did want me. But it wouldn't be very practical if he did. Not only am I married (albeit unhappily) but we live hundreds of miles apart and we both have commitments and responsibilities.

It's starting to get painful. What can I do??? Please don't make fun of me.......help if you can.

Thanks,

Jayjay

[squirrley]

What do you want for yourself? Where do you want this relationship to go?

Maybe you should talk to him about it, ask him where he thinks its going or something. Do you guys talk about seeing one another?

My biggest question: if you are unhappy in your marriage, why are you staying? You need to be happy with yourself and own your life, and sounds like confusion everywhere. Personally I would try to straighten out the home front FIRST-get a divorce or make it work, then decide on the other guy. But I would make it clear to him whats happening.

Sounds like you could be honest with the person youre talking to online with-with that-I would let him know how youre feeling. Like what you want with him, your intentions, feel him out with questions and then you'll know where he stands.

Goodluck

[Jayjay]

Thank you for the good advice. I will try and work things out.

[squirrley]

your welocme. I think you just have to figure out what you want for yourself first!

It sounds so much like youre so unhappy and looking for something outside of the marriage to compensate what youre not getting at home. Really I wish you well and hope things work out for you no matter what you decide. But make decisions based on yourself and for no one else.

Keep us in touch!!!

[Ironliftr3]

That Squirrley is SO smart!

[Jayjay]

So guys, as promised, here's where it's up to a little later...

We've texted, we've spoken on the phone, and I'm going to visit him soon. He's encouraged me to pass his details to a trusted friend so that I will feel safe.

However we've both been saying we feel confused. We both have feelings and both know where we'd like it to go but don't know why this is happening and how it will all turn out. Also since we reached this point some of the urgency and the intensity has gone out of our communication...is this a good sign or a bad one?

Thanks

Jayjay

[Chaz]

What about your partner?
Do you not feel guilty or bad about your actions?

[Jayjay]

Actually I called it off because I did not feel safe and I decided wanted to sort things out with my partner.

[squirrley]

if you decided to work things out on the home front-why are you still going to see him?

[Jayjay]

I have decided not to go.

[squirrley]

Awww I see-youre giving your current relationship a shot first-and if it doesnt work out for you and he's still there then maybe?

Goodluck to you...

[KaWaiiSkYe]

Yeha... Good Luck..