Need a detective to solve this!!

[Taranee]

I think I’ve officially found a mystery to be solved. There’s this guy I like. Warning: this is long. Sorry.

He’s been checking me out with his hypnotic eyes for a while (let’s say 2 weeks). Then he suddenly stops for about 2 weeks. After that he starts checking me out again. He always says hi to me. I say hi back. He once took the initiative and started talking to me. So I thought “perhaps I should return the favor”. I gathered all my courage and started talking to him. I tried that about 3 times. He seemed to get really nervous. I myself don’t know what to talk to him about except the weather and sports (I try to talk about the kind of sports I know he’s interested in only to make him more comfortable). And he usually ends the conversation with a “yes” or “no”. He doesn’t keep the conversations going. That makes me think he’s not interested.

I noticed that he’s taken particular interest in everything that has to do with me and/or everything I do or say. He’s acting very secretive, almost like a detective. For example: Trying to find out who’s phone number is on my desk. Taking particular interest about my birthday. Has an unusual interest when someone mentions me when I’m not around. He also likes staring at my pictures.

I gave him my e-mail address. That was in December and he hasn’t emailed me since. He seems to get jealous when I talk to a guy. Yet he doesn’t put a lot of effort into talking to me. And I don’t know why on earth he would get jealous, he always has at least 2-3 female friends walking around him like a puppy. I’m also thinking perhaps he’s keeping his distance because he doesn’t want anyone to know that he’s interested?? I don’t know why he acts the way he does…

There are a few things about this guy that makes me feel like running for the hills screaming:
1. He told me that he was going to spend Christmas with his female friend and her family.
2. One of my friends told me (in December) that he has a picture on his desktop of him and a girl. He claimed (to my friend) that she was his best friend. ON HIS DESKTOP?? Seems to me that’s she means a little more to him than a best friend. As much as I adore my best friends I don’t have pictures of them on my desktop!!

Don’t get me wrong here. I’m not saying that a guy can’t have female friends. But with guys I always think of how things would/could be in the future. If he’s spending Christmas with a female friend and has a picture of them both on his DESKTOP now how will things be in the future?? Let’s say that we’re together and we are moving in together. And he comes up with the idea of building some sort of shrine in one of the rooms for his best female friend. “Just so that she doesn’t feel left out.” Maybe I’m exaggerating. But when I found out about the desktop and his Christmas tales I immediately took a few steps back. In the meantime…

I got on with my live. Met other guys. And now he’s started again from square 1. And to be honest it’s like I’m hypnotized or something. I can’t get him out of my head. No matter how hard I try. I am so confused. If he really wanted me so badly don’t you all think he would have e-mailed me or something? Am I making a fuss over nothing? Should I worry about his deep relationships with his female friends? Should I give this guy another shot?

And if I should give it another shot? How? I don’t want to make a fool out of myself. So you see: this guy is a mystery. This whole situation is. And I'm tired of playing detective. So if any of you are willing to solve the puzzle I'd be very grateful. Thanks in advance.

[TAVS]

What makes him worth all this trouble? Even if you got a real date with him; he seems like a big pansy and depending on your point of view; a bit creepy. Can't you find a better guy to fancy?

[lovesjoyajm]

If it were me, I think I'd be annoyed at his lack of guts, and just go up to him and ask him what the deal was. I think it's pretty clear that he likes you and just doesn't know how to handle it. Telling you about his female friend was probably to get you jealous - I know I've done it before. I had a picture of me and a guy who happened to be one of my best friends at the time as the background of my computer for months, because I missed him and I thought it was a great picture. (and there was nothing going on there - he's gay)

It's always hard to work out your own situations, especially when there are emotions like "i WANT him to like me". I think you should do something, change the stakes a little - start flirting with him a lot, or be direct. These things tend to drag on for months otherwise.

[Tone]

What makes him worth all this trouble? Even if you got a real date with him; he seems like a big pansy and depending on your point of view; a bit creepy. Can't you find a better guy to fancy?

I agree... he sounds creepy.

[Taranee]

Thanks for the replies!!

What makes him worth all this trouble? Even if you got a real date with him; he seems like a big pansy and depending on your point of view; a bit creepy. Can't you find a better guy to fancy?

Hmmm. Good question. Unfortunately the other guys that do like me are somehow too scared to approach me. I don’t know why. I myself am a rather shy person. So in this case I thought I should take it upon myself to take initiative... If I get the nerve that is...

These things tend to drag on for months otherwise.

Exactly, that’s what I want to avoid at all costs. He is a little mysterious. Ok, he’s VERY mysterious. He seems to want to know as much about me as possible. But perhaps he’s acting that way because he’s trying to protect his feelings. (I'm beginning to feel like I'm making excuses for him... )

[shh!]

What on earth is attractive about a guy who gains info about you on the sly, won't talk directly to you, and stares at you with stalker eyes?? In fact, he sounds like a creepy stalker.

[k73]

ok 2 things come to mind 1) either he really likes this 'friend' and she doesnt quite the same way or is unsure or 2) he only shows interest in you when he and his 'friend' are having a rocky relationship.

i think i'd steer clear of the situation either way. i know its hard when like someone and could easily fall for them - even if you dont know why....but sometimes its the mystery and unavailability thats the attraction. whatever it is, i'd try to get on with my life. maybe you like him more as a person and friend and could pursue that with him but i'd be leary of a bf/gf relationship.

[doll69]

Unfortunately the other guys that do like me are somehow too scared to approach me. I don’t know why. I myself am a rather shy person. So in this case I thought I should take it upon myself to take initiative... If I get the nerve that is...

We should be friends.

[Taranee]

k73, something like that also crossed my mind. But I thought that perhaps he's secretly waiting for her. Like some sort of secret love. "Well, I can't have her know. I'll just amuse myself in the meantime with someone else. In case she's available, I'll dump whoever I'm with." I could be wrong though. Anyway, he tried to talk to me. He was nervous, as usual. But at least this time he tried to keep the conversation going.

We should be friends.

Well, you won't find me objecting to that... lol

[doll69]

YAY! Doll69 has a new friend