Girl I really care about giving mixed messages

[Teezy]

Here's the 411:

I've been hanging out with this girl a lot. Last month we spent every day together, getting hotel rooms, going swimming in rivers, going to clubs, partying in the city, drinking at her friend's house etc...we were a couple without actually being a "couple". We made it clear that we are still allowed to date other people.

The thing is, we didn't. We didn't want to.

She is my roomate's ex, who was also one of my good friends. I feel bad for what happened, but i'm more concerned with my happiness than his, sounds like an a$$shole thing to say, but it's the truth.

When we were all living together I would sit there and watch him lie to her to make himself feel better. It killed me. He wouldn't even give up smoking weed for her. She hated that he smoked weed, and he said over and over that he was going to stop and never did.

I was always just thinking "Man, she'd be so much better off with me."

Well, one night we hooked up in the house because her and I connected on a level that they didn't, we have very similar pasts, very similar outlooks on life, very similar music tastes, similar passion, traits, etc. We're almost TOO alike.

So anyway, this last month has been a crazy non-stop hangout fest with her and I, until the other day when she said she needs to be alone right now, and she's a wreck.

She also said she was depressed and doesn't want to bring me down with her.

She DOES have a lot on her mind, and DOES need to figure some things out, like what she wants, where she wants to go, what to do now after 2 years of being with her ex etc.

During the month I told her "We should be together", "I really want us to be together" etc. etc. and sometimes she would say "Ok" but other times she would say "Not yet, i'm not ready."

At times, I felt I wasn't even ready, but I know now that I was. I still am.

The last time I saw her was on her birthday weekend (May 29th) I took her out to the city for the weekend, we got a hotel room, and just hung out for the weekend. Then when she had to go to work that day, I bought her some gifts (this is where I think she snapped). After that, it was like all of a sudden NO contact at all. Last thing she said was she needs to be alone right now. I text messaged her and said "That's fine. Do what you have to do. Just know that you have my support 100% and don't do anything your heart doesn't agree with" something along those lines.

I called her the next night when I was walking home from work, and explained that we had moved things quite fast, she agreed and I told her I will wait for her to call, I won't try to contact her.

But I really want to call her. I miss her a lot. Should I wait this one out? I'm worried that she'll just move on.

But at the same time, the longer you're away from someone the more you miss them, so who knows it might work out for both of us in the end.

I really like spending time with this girl, we connect on EVERYthing.

What should I do next?

-T

[Teezy]

ADD: Plus it's hard for both of us because I betrayed my good friend/roomate to be with her and she betrayed her bf to be with me. So while we're having all this fun, there is a TON of guilt built up inside of us which makes it 10x harder to have a good time.

[Ellynn]

Ok so does her bf/your roommate know that you two hooked up? Also, she did end things with him right??


Anyways, she sounds confused....and it sounds like your a rebound. SHe wasn't happy with her ex.....and you were there for her. So she took advantage.. But I don't think she was looking to get into anything right away... She could even possibly see you as a friend or just a casual fling for the time being.

If anything, definately give her her space.... If you call her too much, your gonna suffocate her....and then you really will blow your chances with her. Let her figure out what she wants and tell her to call you when she figures it out... I wouldn't wait around though....

[Teezy]

yeah her ex/my roomate knows, and hates us both, because he really wanted her back.

She is confused, she told me she is. I can tell she is. But i've been a rebound before and this is deeper. While we were all living together we talked about if they weren't together, WE would be.

My thoughts are that it's just too soon.

I'm not going to "wait around for her" i'm still going out, getting #'s etc, but if she REALLY understands what she wants then i'll be there for her.