Is she hinting that she isn't interested?

[vaneigem]

This is a pretty silly question, and I might just be being neurotic, but I guess this is the place to anonymously ask silly neurotic questions.

Last monday I met this great girl in a club, and spent much of the night on a sofa getting a bit amorous; I'm sort of looking for a girlfriend now, so instead of taking her back to mine afterwards I took her on a walk around the scenic parts of the city (she's an exchange student from australia and had only been in the city 2 weeks) and to the canal, was great and I think I made a good impression that way and she seemed keen to meet up again.

2 days later I met up with her to go to this museum and then went for a drink; after a bit of awkwardness for the first 10 minutes, (inevitable with it being first sober meeting) conversation flowed nicely but politely, (enough laughing but not loads) just exchanging stories about ourselves, talking about music where we had a lot in common, and discovered our favourite film was the same obscure German film! When we parted company we embraced and kissed, and I asked her if she wanted to meet up again and she said sure, although she had friends from elsewhere in the country coming to see her so it'll have to be after the weekend. All in all, I left thinking it was a fairly successful first date.

Sunday I texted her asking if she wants to do something on monday, no reply for 10 hours and then she says she's at a concert, so another time. So yesterday I replied asking what the concert was, and can you make thursday night? And if not, let me know when's a good time to see her. She eventually replied the next day, saying "Yeah sure I'll let you know when I'm free xo."


I think it could just be because this girl is stunningly beautiful, sophisticated and intelligent I don't believe she'd possibly be interested in me.....but that last text was a bit like "wtf?" She didn't answer my question about the concert, and didn't say whether she could make thursday or not. Seemed like a way of seeming/being disinterested, especially because she took so long to reply, and now I just have to wait for her to text and she might never text.

Or is she playing games to keep me interested? How long should I wait to hear from her before texting/ringing, if that's how she wants the game to be played? or should I just take the hint and leave it if she never texts?

[lesa]

That's not how a good game is played. If she is truly excited and have great interest in you she would not behave the way she does.

Did you meet at a dance club? That is not the place to find someone for a serious relationship.

[vaneigem]

That's not how a good game is played. If she is truly excited and have great interest in you she would not behave the way she does.

Did you meet at a dance club? That is not the place to find someone for a serious relationship.

Yeah met at a dance club, but not just randomly, she was a friend of a friend....but it was pretty nice afterwards, went for a walk around the city at night and along the canals, chatted for maybe 3 hours and then I walked her home.

But, I think you're right, I just wanted to hear someone else's opinion in case I was just being neurotic. Guess I disappointed her on the date somehow. Should I just forget about it? :-(

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Hmm, annoyingly this episode might have ruined things with a girl who would really have been the better choice-there's this Russian girl who I've got to know recently, very cute and more my type-she's a political activist and Lenin is her hero, whereas the other girl was very fashionable and studying Business and Finance- however I didn't really get the chance to make my move because she's a little shy, at least compared to her best mate who is really chatty and ends up stealing my attention (and is also amazing, but has a boyfriend of 3 years). The Russian girl isn't as "alpha female" as this other girl even though she's more interesting, and if I try to go after her now it would seem like she's my second choice. (or maybe third choice, if you include her 'taken' friend who she almost definitely believes I was chasing after until I discovered she was in a relationship) Is she likely to think about it like that, and would it put her off? Should I give it some time and try to hang out with her more, or make a move tomorrow night when I'm going out clubbing with her? (i'm pretty sure she finds me attractive btw)

[lesa]

She may have other interests (people or not) at this moment. It's up to you on whether you want to forget about it or not.