Girlfriend Accuses me for looking at every girl!!

[BiigJohn]

Let me start off by introducing myself. I just turned 21 and my gf is 20. We've been dating for a year and half and I love her to death. The problem I have with her, is her insecurity. And let me explain the type of insecurity..

Everytime we go out, restaurant, mall, movies etc, if any "attractive" girl walks by and I look at her even for less that half a second, she'll bitch me out for days on end. Its really annoying and I've already tried talking to her a million times about it. The thing is, I honestly look at everybody the same! I am not "checking out or glancing" that person up and down. I just look at that "girl" that she thinks is good looking like a normal person and she gets mad at me! She says "you look at her because you think she is good looking" Its annoying as hell out of me and its really affecting my relationship.

Here is some past history that she said LEAD to this, which in my opinion is BS! She said that when we first met I commented that some my previous friends that were girls were good looking..

She also caught me looking at some bodybuilding model photos online (girls that train at my gym) and she accused me and said I "seeked" out those photos because I think they are attractive. This is such B.S.!

I don't think those are valid points for her to be honest. I've NEVER stared or checked out a girl in front of her. I've never been caught flirting or even talking to another girl. I am a 100% loyal boyfriend and I tried telling her all this and she says she still doesn't trust me!?!?!

Everytime I go out its a nightmare for me because if I look anywhere I will have a bad day. She stares at my eyes like a hawk, I literally have to stare at the ground and bump into people while I walking to stay out of trouble. I want her to know that I am really being honest and not disrespecting her because the reason why she gets mad is because she feels disrespected. Please help guys! And NO!!!!!! breaking up is not a solution!!

[vashti]

There is no solution to your problem short of breaking up. You can't fix her, although she may outgrow it one day.

[Mish]

She is insecure, you need to tell her this. Even if you do look at another girl it doesn't translate to you cheating or acting inappropriately. She needs to get over that.

[BiigJohn]

There is no solution to your problem short of breaking up. You can't fix her, although she may outgrow it one day.

I am hoping she'll out grow it one day. I love her to death and she is a great gf all around. Just this part bothers me and screws with the relationship as well.

She is insecure, you need to tell her this. Even if you do look at another girl it doesn't translate to you cheating or acting inappropriately. She needs to get over that.

I've already told her that she is insecure and she even knows it. I understand how she feels if I was ACTUALLY checking out or looking at another attractive girl. I would never disrespect her like that. I just want this little problem of ours to go away. There has to be a CURE for this!!

[vashti]

I suppose you could pluck out your eyes or wear a blindfold.

[Mish]

Or do lobotomy on her


Well, she obviously feels inferior to other girls out there. Since it's a psychological issue the best I can do is offer to go to counseling.

[Rollerderby]

Mish and Vash are right. Guys look at other girls, it's just wired into the brain.

Have her post here, most of the users on here will have a field day telling her she needs to get over herself.

[LoveHurts09]

that's hard, the worst part is that by doing that she'll just push u away.... i think the best way to deal with it is to stop covering it up, if u look at some1 then that's normal, just look at her more often, it seems like she just needs more reassuring then anything.

[Ashbee]

my boyfriend was like that... and it was annoying as hell.It took for us to break up for him to realise all the bad stuff he had done,sorry to say.

[Mish]

my boyfriend was like that... and it was annoying as hell.It took for us to break up for him to realise all the bad stuff he had done,sorry to say.

Yes, I hope the break up taught him not to look at other girls

[Peter Pry]

I am hoping she'll out grow it one day. I love her to death and she is a great gf all around.

No, she isn't "a great gf all around." She is the very definition of a borderline abusive control freak. She is not going to "grow out of it one day." Not without professional help, and certainly not while it is a successful strategy for controlling you. If you wish to continue to be abused for the rest of your life, not allowed to look at anything but the ground for the next 60 years, then by all means stick with this monster.

[vashti]

my boyfriend was like that... and it was annoying as hell.It took for us to break up for him to realise all the bad stuff he had done,sorry to say.

You do realize this statement makes you look slightly crazy, right? Did you read this guy's post?

[starbuck]

She needs some help for her insecurities. Can you guys see a couples counsellor maybe? An objective opinion might make her see that how she's behaving is irrational.

[alovehangoverr]

Breaking up with her isn't an option? You may want to rethink that.

She needs to get some serious help for her insecurities.. which I'm sure aren't just you looking at other girls, but rather something deeper that affects numerous aspects of her life.

Looks like all you can do at this point is tell her she needs to get help or break up with her. It's unlikely that without the help she'll "grow out of it."

Some insecurities you do grow out of, true-- but she's 20 and becoming abusive/controlling of something like this-- it's not a passing thing.

[Cain]

You do realize this statement makes you look slightly crazy, right? Did you read this guy's post?

I'm pretty sure she was saying that her bf was doing what the OP's gf is doing.

Anyways, I don't think this relationship is going anywhere. It's normal for you and her to find someone of the opposite sex attractive and looking will happen. If you acted on it... that would be an entirely different story.