best friend is dating my ex - advice please

[munkei]

Hello Everyone.

The story goes as follows:

At the start of the summer my girlfriend and I split up. Three months later my best friend informed me that they'd slept with each other a couple of times and that he was interested in dating her.

I took it as well as I could. I felt the obvious feelings of hurt, betrayal, being used and other such things. I told my best friend we could try and work something out. When I went to see my ex she was fairly unsympathetic towards my feelings and was horrified that I tried to dictate to her what she should do with her life. I informed her I never wanted to see her again.

Now, the relationship I have with my ex is a complex one. She and I were the best of friends while going out and she, her flatmate and I would hang out constantly and goof about and generally have a whale of a time. My reaction to my best friend's advances were of horror: I was to be replaced by him. She tried to console me with the line "you can never be replaced"

So a couple of months have gone by and I was speaking to her flatmate again. I admire him and think he's a fantastic person. I really missed him and hanging out with him and her. He informed me that she was miserable without me in her life and that all she wanted was my friendship again. Deep down inside I knew I couldn't stay angry with her for very long. I woke one morning to realise that I shouldn't be such a judgemental asshole about the whole situation. I found that I needed to judge people by who they are and not their actions. Yes, they hurt me, yes they betrayed me and yes they did a really shitty thing to me yet I feel that my life is so less rich without them. So my ex and I hooked up, had coffee and spent the entire afternoon disecting what went wrong. We both ended up apologising to each other for various problems past and present. It was such a good feeling.

Other factors which contributed to my decision were that I was sick of being frozen out of the social circle for something I didn't do. So I decided to get back with her as a friend.

They are still dating. I know this. It's something I'm going to have to accept. I know that they won't flaunt it in my face when I'm in the room and I've also been informed that they hardly seem like a couple as they never touch/hold hands etc.

The question is this: very soon I'm going to have to see them in the same room together. Although it won't be obvious, I will feel tense, jealous and anxious. Does anyone have any davice about dealing with this? Or any comments on the situation?

Sorry about such a long post!

[BillyGalbreath]

best advice anyone can give you ----- MOVE ON.

plain and simple. I been there done that. just move on. get over her and there will be no tensness or jealousy. in fact, you might feel sorry for the poor guy, as I do. lol