Have you ever had someone try to ruin your reputation?

[ecojeanne]

Have you ever had an unhappy ex try to get back at you by trying to ruin your reputation? And actually go as far as to try to stop you from being successful in your career? Have they succeeded? Is there anything to do to stop this behavior? I’m not inclined to get involved in tactics and trying to ‘win’ but I want my ex’s blood and I am so insanely upset. He worked in the place I used to work at and has convinced buddy’s of mine to start ignoring me…yes it is easier for him to slowly convince daily due to working in the same place but wtf? . he took adverts down for my biz in the local shops wtf? Seriously why couldn’t he just move on like everyone else? i never said one bad word to anyone other than we broke up because of small things (except for my best mate of course who is separate to these old workmates)

Has anyone experienced this kind of behavior?

[misombra]

yes i have. it's jealousy.

[1averagejoe]

yes i have. it's jealousy.

I have...but it was out of anger and sadness. And I was spreading the truth. She was a lying, cheating, bitch.

But now that I look back, I should have been more mature about it and walked away as if nothing happened.

[ecojeanne]

he controlled me in the relationship and i feel like he's still trying to control me

[Arrow]

YES!!! But she wasn't even my ex, only an old crush.

She plays the angel type to everyone else but the truth is, she's as bitchy and pissy as girls can get.

[LadieNisha4u2nv]

If you read the Psycho Ex's story thread you'd see my story there.

[starbuck]

Your ex's lashing out at you is immature. I would take the high road and not respond to it if you can. To try and get back at him somehow is only going to cause you to engage in a battle with him and will probably cause you to be MORE upset. It is so not worth it.

You want to seem like the adult here. Just let him throw his tantrums like the child that he is. Your reputation will be even more at stake if people you respect are finding out that you're engaging in a childish battle with him.

[LadieNisha4u2nv]

Your ex's lashing out at you is immature. I would take the high road and not respond to it if you can. To try and get back at him somehow is only going to cause you to engage in a battle with him and will probably cause you to be MORE upset. It is so not worth it.

You want to seem like the adult here. Just let him throw his tantrums like the child that he is. Your reputation will be even more at stake if people you respect are finding out that you're engaging in a childish battle with him.

IF this post was toward my post, I havent spoken to this guy in forever. Once in a while he'd send me messages asking me "So did you find out who the father is yet" and I'd simply tell him if you want to live in denial thats fine. I have ignored many of his attempts to put me down, and actually laughed at him sometimes. He would lie on such a constant basis, even to my parents. He told people he kept calling my house and I would hang up on him. He did everything out of his way to avoid accepting the fact that he was her father, but from a long time before I had already stopped talking to him. When it came to paternity tests, he told me I would have to pay for it. His father had sent 600 dollars for me to take care of my child, I never had gotten it. I just stopped talking to him altogether because he wanted to see me act ignorant and curse him out, but he would get mad when I would calmly tell him what I had to say,and go. At times, I feel alone and down right depressed cuz I know when she gets older she's gonna pop that question that I dread to hear ; "Where is my daddy?". Out of anger I said I would tell her he's dead, but she deserves to know the truth. I just dont know how I will handle it when the time comes. Sometimes it gets so hard having to do it by myself(yea my parents are there but its not the same as getting help from the actual father). But I try not to let it bring me down as a person, I still stand strong enough to take care of her and be mother and father, but it gets really hard.

[starbuck]

Oh LadieNisha, that response I gave response was totally for Eco.

Ladie, your situation sounds really, really tough, especially since you have to deal with your ex since he is your child's father. Is there anyway to get the paternity test done? It sounds like he owes you some child support.

Of course you feel alone and depressed. You are struggling with taking care of your daughter and he is shrugging off his responsibility. Who wouldn't feel overwhelmed sometimes?

Your daughter is lucky she has you to be there for her. Stay strong, Ladie!

[LadieNisha4u2nv]

Oh LadieNisha, that response I gave response was totally for Eco.

Ladie, your situation sounds really, really tough, especially since you have to deal with your ex since he is your child's father. Is there anyway to get the paternity test done? It sounds like he owes you some child support.

Of course you feel alone and depressed. You are struggling with taking care of your daughter and he is shrugging off his responsibility. Who wouldn't feel overwhelmed sometimes?

Your daughter is lucky she has you to be there for her. Stay strong, Ladie!

Thanks. Well Im glad I bolded that IF in the beginning lol. I dont know if there is any way cuz he left here a while back and is "doing the army thing"...The last time we spoke he still said I would have to pay for the paternity tests even though he was the one who asked for it in the first place lol. He's really weird though. Like I said in the psycho ex's posts, who in their right mind would want the child to have their last name, get mad cuz the child doesnt have their last name, visit the child,come to the child's delivery,bring his entire family to see her at the hospital,and then turn around and say its not their's? I can laugh at this whole situation now because I already realized that no matter what I do, he isnt going to do anything for her. Plus, I really dont want a man like that in her life, seeing as my father didnt even want me. I want her to have a stepfather, one who would treat her like his own(I have a stepfather which does that), and then when she is old enough, I'll tell her about her real father(which is what my mom did). It'll most likely depress her like it did me, but she'll accept it later down the road and appreciate the step father she has. Right now, I'm trying to settle down. In only four years of being in the dating world, I've seen so much and been through alot of hell. Alot of things have put a huge hole in my trust, which includes this situation with my daughter's "SPERM DONOR". I am young, I know, but as of now, I am no longer labelled a teenager, but a grown woman. Why? Because of the responnsibility I was given; being a mother. I cant be a teen anymore, I have to grow up. I know in the long run I wont be able to do this by myself, so I wanted a father figure in her life,including a man who I can see spending the rest of my life with. I've been with my bf for 15 months. He loves her, but idk if he would ever treat her like his own. His parents LOVE her like she is their grandchild, but they still want their own in 5 years or so. I already told my bf Im looking for committment from now on because as of now I am no longer looking for "just another relationship" because I have responsibilities and if he wants to be there for me, he has to be there for me and my daughter cuz she is part of me now and forever. Well, there's soooooooooo much more I could say about myself on this topic, but the thread isnt about this, so I'll end it here. If you took the time out to read it then thanks.

[ecojeanne]

Ladie I have a friend who is in exactly the same situation as you, it’s heartbreaking and it’s terrible when there is no responsibility taken. My friend said to me once that she wishes he wasn’t a part of their lives so that she could get on with hers and her daughters lives. He shows up whenever he feels like it, breaks the childs heart when he doesn’t bother to show up. Shows off how much money he has to his daughter while she is living on concrete floors. It’s outrageous that people can do this to their own flesh and blood

[LadieNisha4u2nv]

Ladie I have a friend who is in exactly the same situation as you, it’s heartbreaking and it’s terrible when there is no responsibility taken. My friend said to me once that she wishes he wasn’t a part of their lives so that she could get on with hers and her daughters lives. He shows up whenever he feels like it, breaks the childs heart when he doesn’t bother to show up. Shows off how much money he has to his daughter while she is living on concrete floors. It’s outrageous that people can do this to their own flesh and blood

Yea, he's an asshole.But you know, I have to admit we as women bring it upon ourselves when we let them get away with their crap. I know I could've done a whole lot to get this asshole to do something even if it were to just buy a pack of diapers, but I let my pride take over just to prove that I can do this without him. I still dont care to have him in her life, cuz he'd still be a deadbeat. I hate admitting things sometimes, but I have to admit that I let the situation get out of hand. But hey, I'm still surviving and so is my daughter. We both have a future ahead of us and we dont have time for the people who arent affecting our lives in a good way. So I have moved on from that, and I am now looking ahead at the bright future ahead for my daughter and I.

[Dasein]

Yes I have.

It has been 2 1/2 years since I broke up with an ex and he is still trying to exact some type of vengeance on me.

The funny thing is that I have never done anything to him except break up with him and refuse to get back together with him.

He has stooped to some pretty low tactics including interfering with my work as well. Luckily enough i could trace the IP address and confirm that it indeed was him.

I know this is a cliché but moving on and having a happy life is the only way to deal with these things. I know that I have a wonderful man in my life now who treats me that way I deserve.

All of these petty things that my ex can do only serves to me as a reminder that I did the right thing in severing the relationship.

Just be strong Eco. Chickens come home to roost. Just hold your head high and pretend like it doesn't even matter. You will be the better one for it.

[Gribble]

I would love someone to try to ruin my reputation. Please, by all means. Sully the good name of the drunken, irresponsible lecher.

[agatha]

I do experience with this one.

My ex told all the people in our place that I've aborted our baby.
Sucks!
Hes too ambitious! Since our relationship started I never been impregnated by him. I really dunno why hes doing that.