Long term relationship gone BAD! need help... please

[AlinaBella]

hi everyone. I never thought that my relationship would get so bad- that I would need to search for help on a forum. I need some advice from those who was a little bit of experience in "commitment".
Background info:
Been with a guy for almost 5 years. I have loved him, but not anymore. He is still in love/obsessed with me.
Always had a bumpy relationship- consistently fighting and arguing.
He is extremely close to the family (works for my father).
Parents love him.

Problem:

Throughout the five years we've been together I have never been fully happy with him. And leaving him is the problem. We have always been the arguing type. I care for him a lot. He is a wonderful person, but he's not boyfriend material for me. I am not happy with him, and the search for happiness only makes me more upset. He is an amazing friend and person, always wants to help.
I constantly look for other happiness around, friends, traveling, books, movies etc. After a 5 years relationship my heart has grown cold/dead. My feelings have turned into stone. I have no f***ing idea what to do I need help.

I don’t know how to leave him, Whenever we "breakup" I start to miss him because of attachment/or he runs back all upset and heartbroken... and I take him back because I feel bad (I guess cause I care about him).

Our sex life has become a living hell! Happens once a month. The sound of his voice makes me puke. Being with him is boring, and I feel that everything he does and say's is ridiculous.

One thing I am scared of loosing is: I dont think I'll ever find someone who cares about me the way he does. I dont think that I'll be able to stay broken up with him because of pure attachment.

Please, If anyone has a couple of mins. help me out. What should I do? Its been 5 years and im terrified that this will be a problem my entire life.

Alina -

[thelonius]

What should I do? Its been 5 years and im terrified that this will be a problem my entire life.

Thanks for sharing your story. If I were you, I'd take the whole situation as a loss, move on and start over with a clean slate. Given your explanations, however, you can't even do that, therefore the answer lies within you, and you alone. Just remember that for every decision that we make -- there will always be a consequence -- whether it be positive or negative. Yes, there will always be hurtful pain involved in every break-up ... sometimes, it's already there from just the thought of it. As Robert Frost once said, "life can only be summed up in three words: it goes on." As a result, we move on along with it. Good luck.

[Gigabitch]

Somebody has to be the grownup here and end this trainwreck. Clearly, it has to be you. You need to write down all of your reasons and validations for leaving him and just stay firm. Here are some suggestions:

1. You despise him.
2. Your relationship is terribly unbalanced.
3. You are both getting the the way of each other's destiny.
4. You need to learn to stand on your own.
5. If your parents love him so much, they can continue to see him.

[Jimmy1218]

you hate him you dump him. period