Should man or a woman make PLANS for a date?

[SteelMagnolia]

Hi! I've been going out with this guy and I really like him, but...he won't make plans for a date. He says he's too busy to do a research and that I should make all the plans! I've been told by friends to dump him, because: "He doesn't care enough about you to entertain you" and that "He's too lazy". To me this is not big enough flaw to dump him, though! SIGH. What should I do? SHOULD MEN OR WOMEN MAKE PLANS? I always thought it was a mens responsibility to entertain the woman, what do men think about it? Is this a big deal or not? I am afraid if he is not willing to put the effort into planning our date, then it means that he's just not that into me. I talked to him about it, and he says that he will try to research stuff, but he sounded like he really didn't want to do it. He sounds very interested in a date with me, though, but he doesn't care what will we do, for as long as we are together...Which is sweet...Anyways I don't find this big enough reason to break up, yet every single time it's the same old story...I end up to be the decision maker and it's a big turn off for me...In fact half the evening I usually still boil inside, even know I don't show it. Any advice?

[dcalrokundess]

Maybe he just isn't the creative type and is afraid that he can't come up with something fresh and/or something that you'd like. In a way, this is kinda good since he knows that you'll enjoy whatever the two of you do together, since you've made the plans. I've gotta say, sometimes I ask a girl out and I'm anxious because I'm afraid that she won't be that interested in whatever activities I've planned.

[Raze]

Hmmmm.... Why can't you guys just decide on things as you go along? Like while your walking, go oh lets eat here or oh lets check this place out.

[boobaa]

Everything is mens responsibility, entertain, pay, caress, initiate things, and work big, above all that he must have hell of a lot of time.

[little pingoin]

You said it's not a big enough flaw to break up with him but you resent him for his lack of input... is this a deal breaker for you or are you allowing your friends' opinions to color your perception?

Like dcal said, he may just not feel certain of his abilities in planning a date or may just want to make sure the two of you are doing things you enjoy.

If I find myself with a man that acknowledges he can't cook to save his life and asks that the responsibility of feeding us falls on me, I'm not going to resent him for that. We all have different strengths. All that matters is whether or not you're okay with this responsibility. If you're not, then you should probably insist that he take a bigger role in planning your activities together. If he is unable to do that, then you'll have to accept that this is not the relationship for you. If your resentment is only the symptom of listening to your well-meaning friends, then you'll need to avoid adopting their emotions and looking for a problem where there isn't one.