What the heck do I do worng?!

[fixmein45]

I really want a girlfriend. Not so badly that I'm "desperate" or anything like that. But I do want one. I'm just continually confused as to why exactly I don't ever get one.

Recently, I met a very cool girl. She seemed crazy about me when I met her. She was dumping her current boyfriend and was very interested in me. So she wanted my phone # and myspace and wanted to go to a concert with me and a movie...

We're both very busy people. She has two jobs and school and I have full-time school and a job. Because of that, we haven't been able to hang out and a week has gone by. She seems to be losing interest when we talk online or phone.

Kind of making me feel bad because she's the first in a long while to really show that much interest in me and me mutually feel the same.

Now I'm just kind of worried she's going to do one of the following...

a.) She'll lose interest in me if I act like I care too much about wanting to date her... I'm trying to keep it very casual but also make it known i'm interested.

b.) She'll lose interest because I can't see her often enough.


... but in addition to that, I'm continually perplexed why I can't get a girlfriend. 'cause if it don't work out with her I'd like it to work out with somebody!

I'm kind of tough to "get along" with in real life. Not that I'm a jerk or whatever... I just don't seem to have that much to genuinely say to most women. I feel like I am boring. I try to be fun, but the simple fact is most of the time I just work or go to school and other than that I play in a band and such for kicks.

You'd think the band thing would help. But it doesn't. I even write songs but it doesn't impress the girls enough. I wrote one for this girl I really liked a few months ago, but it didn't make her want to date me.


I've gone after a lot of girls. It usually ends up with them not wanting to date me because they "don't see me in that way," or "they are too busy," or "like this other guy," or "they already have a boyfriend," or one of my favorites was "Because you are not what I would define as a man." That one was pretty mean.

Girls have given me their phone #'s only to never answer or call me back or txt me back... or they give them to me even though they have a boyfriend and then HE picks up and gets mad at ME.

I've had some go out with me once or twice but then that's it.

It has made me wonder if there's something wrong with me? Is it really supposed to be this hard for someone to be with somebody else? It seems like no matter what I do all the right circumstances won't fall into place. What do you girls think it is about me?

I think I'd be a really good boyfriend, if somebody would want me to be one.

And I'm not really complaining... I just dunno what this invisible wall that I cannot get past is. I've been single long enough to be used to the idea of it.

That may also be part of the reason. I don't get a chance to show "affection" very often. So, I kind of feel out of place when I do.

[miSSleepy]

It's tough to define what the problem is if I don't know you. Apart from the fact that you seem very busy and frankly desperate (even though you may feel you're not) there's nothing else in your post that suggests what could be wrong.

[fixmein45]

It's tough to define what the problem is if I don't know you. Apart from the fact that you seem very busy and frankly desperate (even though you may feel you're not) there's nothing else in your post that suggests what could be wrong.

Excuse me but how do I sound desperate in the post? Just because I've struck out a lot and I'm wondering why? If I don't stop and ask what I'm doing wrong then how can I hope to fix the problem if there is one.

[miSSleepy]

I don't know, just the general feel of the post makes you seem so. You keep saying you really want a gf and have mentioned writing songs but they still didn't want to date you, and you've met this one girl and are scared of losing her.
Here's my opinion:

- she's the only one to take interest in you for a while and THAT'S why you want to hold on to her.
- I for one wouldn't all of a sudden want to date a guy because he writes songs, so you're going about it the wrong way there.

It also COULD be your lack of ... interests (for lack of a better word) if I met a guy who worked, went to school, and played in a band as his primary occupations, I would feel as if I'd have no place in his life. And you may not BE or FEEL desperate, but sometimes you may come accross that way. I know a guy in a similar situation as you. He can't get past the first date and will ask ANY girl he meets to go for lunch with him etc ... that did come accross as desperate, and it's a cycle, because the more he can't get a gf the harder he tries.

But there might be other reasons beyond what you have written that I can't even begin to guess at.

[fixmein45]

Ha, well... I write songs all the time. It's kind of my hobby. I write one or two a week. I have all kinds of songs. Since I do it anyway, I write about things on my mind. Sometimes it's girls. I didn't do it to "win" her, but I did it out of kindness and I dont know why exactly... but it didn't seem to impress her much. And I pour my feelings and soul into them, I try to have them convey how I feel ya know?

... your probably right, the reason I like this girl is cause she feels that way about me. But she also plays musical instruments like me and likes going to rock concerts and has a similar sense of humor... so it's not just that. Afraid of losing her, I'll admit I am a little. I don't meet girls that similar to me very often AND like me for who I am.

Sorry my interests don't add up. What am I supposed to do exactly? In a single day, work and school take up most of th etime... the rest is relaxing time at home and that includes writing and playing music.

I want a girlfriend because girlfriends are nice to have.

[miSSleepy]

I'm not saying your interests are inadequate, and I say go for it, write and play music, for yourself first and foremost. And if that's what you do then OK no need to get defensive again. I may misinterpret some things, but all I have is what you write to go off.

I think everyone has a time in their life when they're just too bust for commitment. This may be yours! But if you get time in which to contact this girl then do so, just be careful of a commitment that you can't fit into your schedule. But there's no reason why you can't associate with this girl. If she loses interest despite you having done everything you can. then that's out of your control.

[bigfella247]

"What the heck do I do worng?!"...Well I'd say its your spelling