Single at 28...

[Deidmoo5e]

A little about me. I'm a 28 year old guy who's single. When I was 21 I met a girl a couple of years younger than me. She messed me around quite a bit (cheated on me and broke up with me a few times) but we sort of worked it out, by the time she was mature enough to settle down too much had gone on between us and eventually we called it a day after 4 years. A year later I met a lovely girl but she had a kid which led to complications and ultimately it didn't work out after a few months. Since then I've been single for 2 years. I'm the least big-headed person you'll ever meet but I'd say I must be reasonably attractive as I don't have trouble finding girls to date. However I rarely want to see them a second time and this is what worries me. My friends have pretty much all settled down and I envy what they all have. I'm not looking for a supermodel, just someone that I'm attracted to who makes me want to spend time with them and makes me happy. The trouble is I'm so worried that I'm aiming too high. Should I just admit that this is the case, lower my standards and find someone comfortable to be with? Or should I wait and hope that this dream girl I have will show up in my life whilst risking the chance of growing old alone? (The last girl I dated told me I'd die a lonely old man when I ended it). I feel as though any girl who shows an interest in me I'm not really interested in, but girls who I'm attracted to don't seem all that interested. The only thing keeping me going is that fact that I've been in love twice before and therefore it's possible that it could happen again. I'm not all that sure what sort of answers I'm looking for here, perhaps hoping that someone will tell me that they've been in my situation before and that everything worked out perfectly for them in the end! Any help will be greatly appreciated anyway regarding what I should do next.

[cbad]

If you lower your standards solely for the purposes of being in a relationship (meaning, just so you can say "I have a girlfriend/wife"), then expect to be miserable and/or divorced. Trust me, there are lots of people older than yourself who are single. The key is to figure out what you're looking for. I mean, based on what you told us, you seem to make poor decisions in choosing women. That's more of an issue than your age.

[Deidmoo5e]

Thanks for the reply cbad. That's kind of what I wanted to hear that you shouldn't settle for someone just for the sake of not being single, suppose it's common sense really. I have a couple of friends who are in marriages etc that they really shouldn't be and that scares me as much as the thought of never finding anyone. Hopefully I'm not aiming too high but you can't really choose who you are and aren't attracted to. I'd also agree regarding my decision making, hoping that it's just been bad luck and not something deeper that's making me choose the wrong people!

[cbad]

Don't be hard on yourself. It's common sense but there's definitely the fear of being alone when everyone you know is in a relationship or married or you're just getting older. You're not the first or the last person to feel it. At least you're a guy. I can imagine that as women get older and start hearing their biological clocks ticking, it's basically like a living nightmare.

[smackie9]

Your words come from you just being down....having one of those days? Shit ain't gonna happen if you sit there pouting, and feeling sorry for yourself.....you need to take action. Have your friends that are happily settled to play matchmaker or try joining a singles club, on line dating...you have to get yourself out there if you want someone to discover you. Yes I know dating sucks, but ya gotta do what ya gotta do.

[DerekDrake]

Waiting for the right woman will not solve your "growing old alone" problem, being the right man will do. I'm 21 and single. I believe I will still be single at 28 or so. I'll die an old man but no way in hell gonna be alone. It's all about how you define "family".

Wait is an option. Though it doesn't mean you can't wait while searching.