Am I Crazy? Please help...

[CADUCEUS]

Hi all... this is my first post on here... I guess I'm just looking for an outsider's perspective on my situation.

I was in a long term relationship of 1.5 years until last May when we split up. It was a mutual decision and we are still friends to this day. We have both 100% moved on and are comfortable with being friends. In October I started seeing another girl. We've spent almost every day together since then and it's been great. I love her like mad. Everything about her drives me crazy. I treat her like a queen and she treats me like a king. It may have only been 2 months that we've been together but we both agree that we've never fealt so strongly about someone in such a short time. I can truly say that I love her. I'm a confident person and I know myself very well and I always know what I want in life.

So... here is where the problem starts. My new honey was also in a long term relationship of about 1.5 years up until last May. She broke up with him because things weren't feeling right between the two of them. He had little ambition in life and his life was not heading in a path aligned with hers. So she ended it. They have remained friends as I have with my ex and I thought that's where it ended. After a conversation with my honey today I've discovered that her ex has been showing signs of changing and she said this has confused her now. She says she loves me, but he still holds a piece of her heart... and she's struggling to know for sure how she feels. With that said, I question if she can truly love me... but when I'm with her, and I look into her eyes, I can't feel anything but love from her... so I do believe her. She was honest with me about how she fealt, and as hard is it was/is to hear that from her knowing how I feel about her I appreciate her honesty. She wanted to know how I fealt about everything... originally she wanted to take some time apart while she talks with her ex and figures out what she really wants. Before anyone says something, she does not want to start seeing him again or sleep with other people... she simply doesn't want to string me along while she considers her feelings.

After talking with her this morning I told her how I would like things to progress... I told her I wanted us to continue down the path we started on 2 months ago because I believe in time she'll be able to give herself over to me 100%. I don't want to lose this girl... I've never fealt so strongly about anyone in my life. I told her I want to work through this together and talk about it and be there for eachother... not split at the holidays and grow apart. If it doesn't work out in the end and she decides she wants to get back together with her ex, so be it... but I don't want to give up without trying. After telling her all that, she was blown away by my understanding of what she told me. I don't think it was the response she was expecting. But I know she's happy I made it.

I just want to know what your take is on it. Am I crazy? Love makes you do crazy things... I don't want to lose this girl...

Sorry for the long windedness... I guess I had a lot to say.

[funsounds]

I think you done right...sounds like you're prepared for the eventuality that she goes back to her ex...so you're good to go. Hey, if you feel that strongly about her, you gotta fight for it.

Note go your GF: people RARELY change...it's a token gesture that should be viewed as too little too late. my take on situations like that is this: "if you really cared for me, why didn't you change while we were together? i'll tell you why...cuz you're selfish. you're looking to do as little as possible to keep me around and make YOU happy. it is selfish...i'm looking for just a tiny bit of selflesness."

[Mish]

Maybe she feels bad about dumping her ex and now wants to reconsider the past and find out if she still has feelings for the past. I bet she cares little about how much this is hurting you, but still it is better that she is honest with you than doing it behind your back.

The worst situation i can think of is complete freedom for her to keep on going back and forth between you and him and not wanting to make up her mind. Maybe some distance is needed here for her to make up her mind once and for all...

I find that, in a relationship you can only have feelings for one. Once more people are thrown into the mix the relationship begins a race towards the bottom.

[MrWhite]

Honestly, my take on the situation is that if she's still thinking about her ex, she's not completely devoted to you. I'm not saying that she doesn't have feelings for you or anything, but there's a conflict of interest at present. Although she wants to talk to her ex about whatever, dude, that's just not good. My only advice to you is that you should realize that this "break time" that she's proposing is not about you. If it was about you, "break time" wouldn't be in the vocabulary. Listen to funsounds, he/she is right you know, people very rarely change.