"Nice Guys"

[Cybog]

Still one of my favorites. Maybe this will ring true for some of you out there. Enjoy.



This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.

The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.

[shh!]

Aww, look! An ode to Asip and Tone!

[Asip4u]

Aww, look! An ode to Asip and Tone!

lol..damn, all that stuff is so true...Maybe I'll get somewhere if i become a jerk eh shh!? hehe..although i don't know..i like being a nice guy...it's easy to be a jerk.

[shh!]

RSK: Who cares if nice men have some sort of secondary gain? I don't mind, and in fact, I hope they do!

[shh!]

lol..damn, all that stuff is so true...Maybe I'll get somewhere if i become a jerk eh shh!? hehe..although i don't know..i like being a nice guy...it's easy to be a jerk.

Nah - don't be a jerk! There is a nice girl who will appreciate you out there!

[shh!]

Hahaha! You are funny! Are you, by chance, a conspiracy theorist?

[Asip4u]

all in all - we don't have the number of 'nice guys' that i think we make ourselves to have, right? nice guys can be very cunning people - they're smart, but they don't FOOL me, I see right through their bolognie!

LMAO..i like the bolognie part...I think what you are talking about are those guys pretending to be nice but truly arent...that's totally different from what we're talking about...we're discussing truly nice guys who can have pretty much what a jerk can but on his own decides that he doesn't want to...you can say it's still selfish or whatever but the fact is, every human being on this planet is selfish to some extent.

[Asip4u]

yeah, i gotta give it to those 'truly' nice guys - i think they are something else! I like to consider myself a nice guy - but i can still be somewhat of an asswipe in terms of what i think of women at times!

As far as your coment on every human being selfish - your right! it's the law of nature! Survival of the fittest!

Perhaps your view on women is different at times because of certain experiences you've had. Usually that will trigger something and make you see them differently.

[Only-virgins]

Nice guys do not finish last. its just a bad rumor.

[pxc]

I don't care if nice guy's finish last or first, even. THERE'S NO GODDAMN PRIZE, SO LONG AS YOU FINISH! lol.

[Only-virgins]

I don't care if nice guy's finish last or first, even. THERE'S NO GODDAMN PRIZE, SO LONG AS YOU FINISH! lol.

Shit, I didnt even know there was a start and finish line.

[pxc]

Hey wait!! You've helped me unlock the secret!! You run around in circles until you fall and die a horrible, bloody, mangled death, and nice guys don't fall down as soon, because they don't start getting girlfriends as soon! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAH!

[Tone]

LoL great read Cybog.

[Prodigal]

RSK,

An interesting idea, but it worries me.

It's pretty sad... it's a case of what people would term "calling the kettle black", except this is used on the whole male population. I definitely see where you're coming from (a lot of guys I know, including some of my friends, think they are nice guys but really do some f-cked up things).

This sounds like a half joke/half serious theory, but in either case, I'm still offended because I feel as if I'm an exception to another stereotypical 'rule'. I can think of a few good analogies to compare your statements to: that everyone who does community service or charity work is doing it for self-interest (trying to get a good reputation, etc.), or even something more vulgar like all middle-easterners are terrorists. Being a bit of a cynic myself I must admit that it is true in many, maybe even most cases. But all of them? No.

Just like how every stereotype has exceptions (some more than others), so does your's. Maybe you've just had bad luck in the guys that you've met. Maybe it's this thought that taints your mind about every 'nice guy' you see. Maybe they really ARE nice. And on the flipside, there are also guys who are the opposite. Seem tough, mean, or bad ass on the outside but are really nice people.

Edit: Never mind, after re-reading the thread. Thought you were saying that about all nice guys, and it ends up you weren't. Sorry. Keeping up the post though just because it took a while to write.

[whitedragon20na]

I agree with the nice guy theory. I mean there are some who appear to be and really aren't, my brother for example. I do have to say as soon as someone gets to know me, they say I fall into the category of a nice guy to the 't' even though the first time anyone ever sees me, they judge and assume I'm a mean person because of my size and because I hardly ever smile. I mean granted I do look mean and angry most of the time, but that doesn't mean I am. It's actually quite pathetic because I've had people do really really bad and mean things to me and I've forgiven every single one of them.
I also have to say the theory about nice guys doing the nice things because it makes THEM feel better, that's not true with everyone, I do it because I feel I should, especially for the females, it's just the right thing to do. I've been that way my whole life.
It is true though, the nice guys don't really get enough credit and they sure don't usually get what they desirve.