Confused

[davidjones]

I'm getting increasingly confused by my ex girlfriends behaviour with me since we split up.

Briefly what happened was we split up at the start of January, she said something a long the lines of she didn't think we wanted the same things and she was annoyed I'd been out a lot over Christmas and thought I wanted to be single and she needed some time to think about things. I let a couple of weeks pass and I left her to cool down before trying to get her back, she said that made her feel like I didn't care. I then tried hard to get her back, got a bit emotional it was quite pathetic but I think at least it showed I cared. After a couple of meetings and apparently being close to reconciling she went back to uni saying she needed more time and we’d talk at Easter insisting this wasn’t about other guys or anything like that. However she went out lots and I assumed it was about just having fun going out and meeting new people, I couldn't take it and broke all contact with her.

This was about 6 weeks ago and the no contact helped a lot. I was doing fine and even went on a couple of dates. After about 3 weeks she tried to contact me and I pretty much ignored it, she then tried again a week or so later. This time we spoke and arranged to go for a drink the Saturday before last. I wasn't too sure how this would go and slightly apprehensive of undoing the good work of getting over her from the no contact.

Anyway, we met up and it was generally fine. We chatted and had a laugh until almost out of no where she started crying. We then got quite close when walking to our cars where she again started crying. She didn't explain why and I was pretty confused, it didn’t make a lot of sense. Since then we haven’t spoken although we’ve been texting a bit. She’s text a couple of times saying she was doing things that reminded her of me and that it would be nice to see me soon.

I’m not sure what she’s thinking, it feels a little be like maybe she is wanting me back? I’m not sure that’s what I want now but I’d be open to talk about it. However, having tried to get her back before I’d feel like a fool if I bring it up and she just bluntly rejects me.

Do you think she’s waiting for me to bring it up? Should I wait for her to bring it up? I’d hate to think we missed a chance to sort things out because we were both too stubborn, but on the other hand maybe I’ve got completely the wrong end of the stick!

[FlaCooln]

I know I am not a female, but it does not to take one to see what is going on here.

Just talk openly with her. I think she misses you and is making the first steps to rekindle the relationship. Figure out if that is what you want and then talk to her. Good communication and being open/honest is the key.

[ashley89]

you need to talk to her about it and see what she wants, if you two think you can work past the problems that caused you to break up in the 1st place then give it a try, but if things aren't going to change and the same issues are remaining, I don't see how it would be different than it was.

[michelle23]

You need to ask her why she got so upset? Ask her to be honest

[davidjones]

I know I am not a female, but it does not to take one to see what is going on here.

Just talk openly with her. I think she misses you and is making the first steps to rekindle the relationship. Figure out if that is what you want and then talk to her. Good communication and being open/honest is the key.

It feels like that is what she's trying to do. But when I tried to get her back she made it quite clear that it's not what she wanted, I'm not sure she's changed her mind about that and maybe she just wants to be friends, we were very close and I'd probably have said she was my best friend as well as my girlfriend.

I'm just worried about getting knocked back again, it was pretty rough and I've come quite far since last time...I'd just feel like a fool if i let her do it again!

[BackUpOrGetStng]

She's fishing for attention. Stop texting her. Only hang out with her in person, and do not stop seeing other girls unless you two decide to get back together. If she doesn't want to get sexual, tell her right then not to contact you anymore. She's using you for attention until she finds someone else unless she proves otherwise. Even if she does get sexual, don't stop seeing other girls unless she comes out and says she wants to try the relationship again. Be her **** buddy and that's it until then. Don't talk on the phone, don't text, don't facebook.

[davidjones]

I do wonder if that is all it is, she doesn't really have a huge amount of friends. Which is probably partially my fault, we always just hung out with my friends. There hasn't been any sex, but the last couple of times we've met up she's been quite touchy, sort of playful nudging and lingering hugs that sort of thing.

I think the only choice is to have a proper chat about it with her. I'm pretty much back to where I was thinking about it all the time, so I might as well get knocked back, at least then I'll know where I stand!