first of all..i'm from romania...so please pardon my english if its bad...and i warn you that this is soap opera stuff..and it's long...so here i go:
this is a tricky one....
see..i fell in love with a classmate...on her mother's funeral!!
now, that was like 2 months ago, and now every day i like more. i've got her best friend helping me..somehow..and she assured me once that she suspects nothing, but now i'm not so sure. even if she's going to this tragedy, she better now..i mean...i don't see her thinking of that anymore...she smiles again..and a lot, she wearing nice clothes again..she's fixing her hair even more nicely than before..every day she's more beautifull..
now..her friend told me...that i must wait awhile...i knew that....and she tells me that she(let's call her N and her friend V)..V tells me that N is not thinking of being with someone now..and it might take a very long time till N be interested to have a relationship.
i kinda expected that, i knew what i must face when i decided to let the feelings for her grow...but the thing is that we're in 12th grade(senior year for you in the States)..and after that..we'll all fly off to college's..in different cities..and that would be the end of it all...and i don't want that...i want to start a relationship with her now..and if works..to try to keep it.
there was a time when i thought N was into me too..i mean..she enjoyed our chat..she smiled a lot when talking to me...laughing at my jokes..she was always around me...she caught me looking at her..i caught her looking at me...she even said once that we have a song!!
but then something else happen. N suddenly started to be more distant to me..i mean..i have told her anything...i didn't crossed the line...and this change in her attitude regarding me, confused me...i mean..we were just friends...i don't want to lose her friendship too. now..when i take a small step forward..she makes 5 back. but V still assures me..she doesn't suspects anything..and I trust her..believe me..she's not lying
now i'm carefull to every word i say..to every action i make when she's around...afraid that she'll realise..
what can i do?..i mean...right now i feel like it's my first crush..i'm shy....i'm clumsy....i even blush..i'm trippin in words...
i want to be with her very bad...i know i must understand that she going(or went) through some very though moments...but now..she's looking like she's moved on...
now..please help me understand her....what wrong? is she afraid? i am right in saying that she wanted to..but she got scared? or everything was just jokes..just having a little fun..and now that she realised that i might be serious..she just...put an end off it all?
what should I do?
i'm confused..
please help