Friend With Benefits?? Actual expectations?

[Jupiter Rising]

I am not sure where to ask this question, so will try it here.
I would appreciate any feedback or thoughts about this -- especially any women present.
Keep seeing personal ads saying someone is looking for a freind with benefits situation. I know the general meaning, but wonder exactly are most people's expectations about this kind of relationship. The only thing I know for sure is what it does not mean and that is a one time or just one weekend thing.

Any thoughts on this? Anyone currently in such a relationship, and if so, what does it mean to you?

[Only-virgins]

I would stop dating a girl that has had a friend with benefits. Its like a free joy ride on something that deserves more respect. Sex isn't just a leisure activity in my opinion like swimming.

[vashti]

Friends with benefits means sex with no expectation (or hope) for anything more. This situation is usually a fun idea for males, but women especially tend to become emotionally attached once they sleep with someone, so it doesn't usually work out. It is NOT a good plan if you are hoping to propel it into a relationship.

[Only-virgins]

Friends with benefits means sex with no expectation (or hope) for anything more. This situation is usually a fun idea for males, but women especially tend to become emotionally attached once they sleep with someone, so it doesn't usually work out. It is NOT a good plan if you are hoping to propel it into a relationship.

so basically no negatives for males. Sweet.

[vashti]

Yes, the girly-males also are negatively impacted.

Obviously, I was referring to generalities.

[Only-virgins]

Yes, the girly-males also are negatively impacted.

Obviously, I was referring to generalities.

poor girly males.

[lesa]

"Friends with benefits" means that you are sexing someone without dealing with a true boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.

You can have multiple sex friends (and more chances of having at least one STI). You simply call them up and say that you want sex and hopefully they will agree--no need to wine and dine them.

When they find a person worth a bf/gf relationship, they end the benefits from that friend. Don't ever expect a sex friend to become more than that. You already showed them that you would settle for much less than a real serious relationship.

[Only-virgins]

You simply call them up and say that you want sex and hopefully they will agree--no need to wine and dine them.

When they find a person worth a bf/gf relationship, they end the benefits from that friend. Don't ever expect a sex friend to become more than that. You already showed them that you would settle for much less than a real serious relationship.

Yea it sounds like the people who get long term "serious" relationships seriously get ****ed here and screwed over. Its like hating someone and giving them a gift but when the real person who deserves it comes along you make them work for it. It makes no logical sense at all. If some girl broke off with her friend with benefits to be with me I would tell her to go **** herself and get the **** out of my face. I'm looking for someone worth being my girlfriend and that is not what someone worthy of being ANYONES girlfriend would do.

[Aeradalia]

so basically no negatives for males. Sweet.

Yes, the girly-males also are negatively impacted.

Wow... I wonder why some of the other males who aren't girly are out there looking for a meaningful relationship too... away from a friends-with-benefits situation, if they aren't negatively impacted by this?

Guys can want more than FWB without having to be 'girly-males'.... and there are plenty of them out there that do want more.

[lesa]

Yea it sounds like the people who get long term "serious" relationships seriously get ****ed here and screwed over. Its like hating someone and giving them a gift but when the real person who deserves it comes along you make them work for it. It makes no logical sense at all. If some girl broke off with her friend with benefits to be with me I would tell her to go **** herself and get the **** out of my face. I'm looking for someone worth being my girlfriend and that is not what someone worthy of being ANYONES girlfriend would do.

True but how would you know if she is worth a relationship until you get to know her for some time and then check for compatibility, etc? A friend with benefits is unavailable for a relationship for whatever reason or have other personal issues. Additionally, you really would not know if your future serious girlfriend had a FWB unless she tells you that (there are people with very short bf/gf relationships which is disconcerting as well and some will describe their FWB as a short term relationship). Only the virgin girl may be the worthy girl.

Would you seek a serious long term relationship with the girl who "sexed" you on first meeting--knowing very little about her? How about the very sexy friend that is a little loco?

[vashti]

Wow... I wonder why some of the other males who aren't girly are out there looking for a meaningful relationship too... away from a friends-with-benefits situation, if they aren't negatively impacted by this?

Guys can want more than FWB without having to be 'girly-males'.... and there are plenty of them out there that do want more.

Umm... aeradalia? The little smiley face is supposed to imply a joke.

[Only-virgins]

True but how would you know if she is worth a relationship until you get to know her for some time and then check for compatibility, etc? A friend with benefits is unavailable for a relationship for whatever reason or have other personal issues. Additionally, you really would not know if your future serious girlfriend had a FWB unless she tells you that (there are people with very short bf/gf relationships which is disconcerting as well and some will describe their FWB as a short term relationship). Only the virgin girl may be the worthy girl.

Would you seek a serious long term relationship with the girl who "sexed" you on first meeting--knowing very little about her? How about the very sexy friend that is a little loco?

This is all irrelevant as it has nothing to do with how fast and who you have sex with. All you said makes no impact on my opinion that sex with out a relationship with a friend is wrong. It is an insult to your future partner. I wouldn't know, I obviously would need to get to know the girl more, that is what the rest of the relationship is about..but it has nothing to do with this...the point is...when you don't have the things that are right with someone...why the **** are you sleeping with them?

[lesa]

I am a relationship person so I agree with you. There are people who will perform sexual activities with strangers or with people that have no potential for a serious relationship. They may desire a continuous sexual relationship with one person but have not found that one to spend their life with. You don't hate the person but you don't see them as relationship material for whatever reasons.

You're a guy...give me some reasons why men or women do the things they do? Some people will **** anything if given the opportunity. Maybe it's women that usually do those things because she may have more standards for a relationship potential person than for a sex toy relationship person. She will only sex the sexy poolboy who can't read but will marry the caring business CEO. A man may not separate a woman like that. If she is beautiful then that is a great start for a life long relationship.

Its like hating someone and giving them a gift but when the real person who deserves it comes along you make them work for it. It makes no logical sense at all. If some girl broke off with her friend with benefits to be with me I would tell her to go **** herself and get the **** out of my face. I'm looking for someone worth being my girlfriend and that is not what someone worthy of being ANYONES girlfriend would do.

You feel it's an insult because the, for example, woman "sexed" a friend for several months but when she found potential of a long term relationship with you, she waits?

The "friends with benefits" was simply a lazy boyfriend who had no interests in spending a life together.

That's my guess.

[Only-virgins]

I am a relationship person so I agree with you. There are people who will perform sexual activities with strangers or with people that have no potential for a serious relationship. They may desire a continuous sexual relationship with one person but have not found that one to spend their life with. You don't hate the person but you don't see them as relationship material for whatever reasons.

You're a guy...give me some reasons why men or women do the things they do? Some people will **** anything if given the opportunity. Maybe it's women that usually do those things because she may have more standards for a relationship potential person than for a sex toy relationship person. She will only sex the sexy poolboy who can't read but will marry the caring business CEO. A man may not separate a woman like that. If she is beautiful then that is a great start for a life long relationship.



You feel it's an insult because the, for example, woman "sexed" a friend for several months but when she found potential of a long term relationship with you, she waits?

The "friends with benefits" was simply a lazy boyfriend who had no interests in spending a life together.

That's my guess.

Women are so ****ing stupid sometimes, what the **** do I care what her reasons were? It is still an insult. No relationship from me that is for sure. I'm not a relationship type anyway for these types of reasons, Im just using logic here and trying to get a logical answer back. You can't seem to give me a good answer just make up stupid pool boy stories, but holy crap that Business CEO got screwed like a chump...has to marry a pool boy banger. If I was the pool boy I would walk up to him and say "hey, you may have more money but I ****ed your wife lolololol". Which by the way the pool boy is far better off here and I rather be the pool boy.

[lesa]

I can't give you logical reasons why some women (or men) will do such a thing. Some women will wait no matter who it is. It's like you said...it's how their minds cope with the situation .

It's just like men who would value the one that waits but will **** almost any woman who spread her legs. He gets so confuse by that and can no longer think straight. "She must be a slut or something." He completely forgets that he is one as well.

Women are so ****ing stupid sometimes, what the **** do I care what her reasons were? It is still an insult. No relationship from me that is for sure. I'm not a relationship type anyway for these types of reasons, Im just using logic here and trying to get a logical answer back. You can't seem to give me a good answer just make up stupid pool boy stories, but holy crap that Business CEO got screwed like a chump...has to marry a pool boy banger. If I was the pool boy I would walk up to him and say "hey, you may have more money but I ****ed your wife lolololol". Which by the way the pool boy is far better off here and I rather be the pool boy.

I didn't mean to imply that the wife cheated. I meant that she had sex with the poolboy in her past.


You said that you are not a relationship type of person. So who the hell do you ****?

Oh nevermind...you're a virgin?