Is this wrong?

[iulikewhoa]

I think I have a problem.

Have you seen the movie Pretty Woman? With Julia Roberts as the hooker? Well her biggest thing in the movie is that she doesn't like kissing because it is too intimate.

Well, my problem is I am the same way. I would prefer to give head than make out with someone. I think a lot of that stems from not really having great makeout partners... But as a 21 year old, horny, female... I should want to makeout.

Another problem is that when I think of guys I actually LIKE for more than just sexual purposes I can only visualize myself holding hands and cuddling... but if its someone I would like to hook up with, its like me getting them off and straddling them. I don't know what to do... I mean, how can I start to like making out?

[Gigabitch]

I guess start slow. Maybe some part of you thinks that sex is not "nice", so when you start to have nice feelings for someone, you put the sex feelings into their own little box.

Am I way off the mark, here?

[iulikewhoa]

I don't know... I mean, I used to think sex was just sex... and when I lost my virginitiy I initiated it with one of my hook up buddies... It wasn't special, even though in my head there should have been candles, music and fireworks...

I guess in some ways I have brought those negative feelings on myself, but, I like sex and I am a sexual person and I think its fun... but I guess sometimes I use sex as a way to connect with people, whether its making jokes or trying to make others feel comfortable, but when I am with the people I actually like, I dont need to make them feel comfortable because we already have things to talk about... its liek sex doesnt matter with them...

Its weird, I know... I sound ridiculous...

[Gigabitch]

But if you really like someone, sex actually does matter. It's the only time it should.

[King Zarathu]

You don't sound ridiculous. Actually, you sound hot. Anyway, the thing is that you should probably stop having sex with people you would just like to "hook up" with. I think you haven't been doing enough kissing but giving too much pussy. This could, possibly, reflect a past childhood event, or we're just being too analytical. Save sex for somebody you really care about.

[vashti]

Obviously your problem surrounds issues of control (and I don't mean because you don't like kissing) in addition to intimacy issues. Perhaps you are trying to compensate for other areas of your life in which you feel you are lacking this element of power.

Have you considered speaking to a professional?

[iulikewhoa]

WHOA! This is like a real problem?? I just kept thinking it was because these guys were bad kissers and I haven't had that kiss... you know the one where you just melt... Maybe its because I think that that kind of kiss exists... maybe I have seen too many romantic comedies for my own good. Maybe I should start watching some horror films...

But thank you for the advice and maybe thats what my problem is, but I don't have nearly as much sex sex as it sounds... Its more oral sex. I guess I don't really see that as a problem or something to be ashamed of...

[Late_vamp]

yea , i know a girl like you , she likes me yet she does shit with other ppl like getting fingered and then when she sees me she can barely talk because she gets shy as if she was a complete little virgin . Then she keeps on liking me .

you dont happen to live in Montreal do you ?

[mini696]

You cant force yourself to like something, it will take practice and time.

I hate girls and guys randomly hooking up, but I want to do it- which means I have to get over my own issues, so far it has been 6 years of trying.

[Late_vamp]

same thing mini ... i also hate it but i also want to try it ... wich i sort of did last weekend but it was only fingering and making out . wtv , when the snatch comes , ill be ready to take it back to my place and have some fun with her .