The NC Rule

[Albinoni]

Some help here would be appreciated. Its been almost 2 weeks since today my gf dumped me, ok I would not say she's officially dumpd me but it all happend over some stupid txt msg etc and she took it too personally and decided to end out strong loving relationship after almost 1 yr, so she ended it not me.

And as for this I have if not havent called, txt etc etc her for 2 weeks not, nothing absolute 0.

So I have been applying the NC or NO Contact rule here onto her, meaning if she dumped me etc I will refuse to get intouvh with her i.e to call, txt, visit etc etc.

1. Whats the idea of the NC rule.
2. So does it mean to totally dont call them, txt sms what ever, i,e zero.
3. Ok so if she dumpd me or what ever does this mean I apply the NC rule, and if it was the opposite than i.e me dumping her than
the NC rule would be applied from her.

[VincenzoG91]

1. There are two opposing theories about the NC rule:
A. No Contact is the best and quickest way to move on with your life and stop dwelling on past failure
B. No Contact is a form of reverse psychology to get your ex to regret dumping you and take you back
2. Yeah, No Contact applies to all forms of communication, even those not yet invented. No phone calls, no texts, no tweets, no Facebook shenanigans, nothing.
3. Either person or both can go No Contact. Maybe the dumper wants to forget the dumpee quickly. Or maybe the dumper wants to stay friends but the dumpee wants to move on.

I don't recommend going No Contact as a devious strategy to get the dumper back. The relationship failed for a reason, or possibly several reasons. Getting back together will eventually fail unless the underlying problems in the relationship are solved. And since those problems often have a basis in personality traits, deeply-held beliefs, or behavior learned as a child, it's unlikely those problems will get fixed in mere days or weeks or even months.

[Albinoni]

1. There are two opposing theories about the NC rule:
A. No Contact is the best and quickest way to move on with your life and stop dwelling on past failure
B. No Contact is a form of reverse psychology to get your ex to regret dumping you and take you back
2. Yeah, No Contact applies to all forms of communication, even those not yet invented. No phone calls, no texts, no tweets, no Facebook shenanigans, nothing.
3. Either person or both can go No Contact. Maybe the dumper wants to forget the dumpee quickly. Or maybe the dumper wants to stay friends but the dumpee wants to move on.

I don't recommend going No Contact as a devious strategy to get the dumper back. The relationship failed for a reason, or possibly several reasons. Getting back together will eventually fail unless the underlying problems in the relationship are solved. And since those problems often have a basis in personality traits, deeply-held beliefs, or behavior learned as a child, it's unlikely those problems will get fixed in mere days or weeks or even months.

I am applying the NC rule to her because she dumped me and said to me not for me to txt her, but basically I am doing this for her to miss me or trying to do something for her to miss me. Like she dumped me so why should I re contact her.

The relationship failed due to both of our faults or small failures etc, not because of her or me, we got both ourselves to blame. But she dumped me over a stupid txt msg.

[kitkitkitty]

NC= no contact at all. otherwise you may aswell say 'no contact ever ever ever. well.... apart from [insert every form of communication possible].'

[Albinoni]

Ok lets say out of the blue she decides to miss me and sends me a txt, should I reply to her txt or just ignore it or answer it few hrs later, i.e let her wait.

[kitkitkitty]

she's the one who broke up with you. let her blood simmer and don't reply.

[Albinoni]

So by doing this what would it prove or do by not replying

[kitkitkitty]

that she can't just have you back when she decides. she wants to stay in control after ending it and if she wants to have you back at the drop of a hat it's not fair on you and how you feel cos that's messing you around.

[Albinoni]

Ok so your basically saying make her crawl back

[WaiKru]

In my opinion, a lot of people are a little too strict with the no contact rule. I'm more an advocate of low contact. If she texts you, respond, but seem busy and be short with her. If you're trying to get her back you don't want her to think she's being ignored. Women do not react well to this.

On the other hand if you're done and you're trying to move on, by all means, ignore her completely.