I need a married male's perspective and advice about a married man I REALLY LIKE

[Vintagejunkie]

Please don't hate! I don't need to be lectured on wanting a married man, or any of that. I will ignore all of those responses so don't even waste your time.

Okay so... First of all, I'm not single. I am in a very complicated situation with the father of my child. We are not married, but aren't even really in love anymore. I have been having some fun flirting with men and haven't taken it any further than that. BUT there is a married man that I see once a week. He has been so hot and cold with me though that I'm not sure if I should just give up or not. I know that he's probably scared and doesn't want to hurt is family. I have it really bad for him and want to see more of him, but I'm not sure what he wants. This is what happens:

I see him one week and he came on really strong.. Hugged and kissed my cheek, smelled my patchouli. Told me to rub it all over his body if I had it with me. (I didn't.) He asked me to come sit down with him and kept touching me.. Rubbing my leg, telling me he likes me a few times, and even told me that "I could have him." I said but you're taken, and he sort of scoffed at that and that was it. We flirted some more and then I didn't see him the following week. The next week I saw him. He was a little more stand offish, but still hugged me numerous times. Told me we should get together during the week. We spent a couple hours together that day, shared a joint etc. We didn't exchange numbers though so I didn't see him that week. Then this week he doesn't hug me at all. He barely talks to me..It was really strange how he could go from being so flirtatious to like nothing today. He was with someone today that knows his family and maybe was worried that he'd get caught or something if he showed me too much affection. I needed something though and gave him my number. I said here is my number, use it if you can help me out with that. He said I definitely will, etc. And then we said goodbye.

It was so puzzling to me that he was SO different than normal. Did I do something wrong? Was he just having some innocent fun and is ending it now? Was he just nervous around this family friend? I really like him though and even though he's married.... I don't care if it's just friends, or friends with sex, or whatever.. I just need to be around him. I know this is terrible, but I don't care. I believe that everything happens for a reason and it's all meant to be in the end. So.... What should I do?

[WICKED THOUGHTS]

Well... he definitely wants you and he will eventually get u in bed. Just be prepared to face a bad side effects when u crave for him more and more other then sex. just sayin.

[justcheckin]

He might of just been having innocent fun. You never know. See if he calls you. If he wants to pursue anything he has your number, he knows how to reach you. I don't really agree with it haha but that is my advice. If I was married and was flirting with a girl that was not my wife and I had a family friend around me your damn right I would act stand offish to you, especially if I was not trying to ruin anything with my wife. Married ppl love attention.

[Spoonandfork]

so you would rather throw away your reputation, remove any chance of your child growing up in a normal family, and destroy another man's marriage for some sex? I see you have your priorities in check

[IncognitoSir]

Well here on the forums, we DO care. You wont get any support here to help some loser guy cheat on his wife. He's hot then cold because he's trying to decide wether or not you're worth throwing his marriage away. Of course he'd be different in front of a family friend.

[Vintagejunkie]

so you would rather throw away your reputation, remove any chance of your child growing up in a normal family, and destroy another man's marriage for some sex? I see you have your priorities in check

I know I said I wouldn't respond to these, but I do feel the need to defend myself. First of all the environment my daughter is growing up in now is anything BUT normal. Her father is an alcoholic with a major temper. He treats me like shit. He doesn't help me with anything or even bother to fix a flat tire for me. Do you think I want my daughter thinking that men are supposed to act that way? He's 47 and extremely immature!!!! I am very unhappy, and worried about my daughter because of him.

Am I selfish for wanting to better my situation and be happy for once?? I hope not..

[justcheckin]

you are looking for love in the wrong places. We feel for you I promise. But you will not find what you are looking for in another married man. If anything you will get some sex and a few free meals, but that's it. Think about it. so you do end up divorcing, and he divorcing his wife, and you guys get together. do you really want to date somebody that can meet a girl randomly and throw a marriage away over a joint and some sex?

[Spoonandfork]

I know I said I wouldn't respond to these, but I do feel the need to defend myself. First of all the environment my daughter is growing up in now is anything BUT normal. Her father is an alcoholic with a major temper. He treats me like shit. He doesn't help me with anything or even bother to fix a flat tire for me. Do you think I want my daughter thinking that men are supposed to act that way? He's 47 and extremely immature!!!! I am very unhappy, and worried about my daughter because of him.

Am I selfish for wanting to better my situation and be happy for once?? I hope not..

you are new here. So I don't expect you to have read my previous posts but you would see that I'm sympathetic towards people in relationships who want better for themselves. However, you seem to throw caution to the wind regarding your reputation and this guy's marriage. Sure, the lure of a fling with him may seem enticing at the moment but I promise you will regret your decision when you are left alone in the end and cast aside by society

[misombra]

Your judgement is askew. Your poor child. Has two parents that are fuked in the head. Its kinda sad. I hope you realize soon that you are wrong.

[asdfg789]

Am I selfish for wanting to better my situation and be happy for once?? I hope not..

nobody will blame you for wanting out of your current situation. but in this case you're going from the frying pan into the fire !

[VincenzoG91]

I know I said I wouldn't respond to these, but I do feel the need to defend myself. First of all the environment my daughter is growing up in now is anything BUT normal. Her father is an alcoholic with a major temper. He treats me like shit. He doesn't help me with anything or even bother to fix a flat tire for me. Do you think I want my daughter thinking that men are supposed to act that way? He's 47 and extremely immature!!!! I am very unhappy, and worried about my daughter because of him.

Am I selfish for wanting to better my situation and be happy for once?? I hope not..

So you're going to teach your daughter about cheating and chasing after married men? Nice.

Why don't you try to do things in the proper order?

1. Divorce the alcoholic
2. Start dating single guys again
3. Settle down with a nice single guy who is willing to be a good step-father to your daughter

[Gigabitch]

So you're going to teach your daughter about cheating and chasing after married men? Nice.

Why don't you try to do things in the proper order?

1. Divorce the alcoholic
2. Start dating single guys again
3. Settle down with a nice single guy who is willing to be a good step-father to your daughter

4. Stop wearing patchouli. That shit is nasty.

[ecenur]

I think you might have to give him some time, if he is [url=http://www.chacha.com/topic/married]married[/url] as you say, & also has a family then, it might be difficult for him to be doing such things however, you also are a mother therefore, you probably have an idea of what it's like to have a family of some sort even though you say you your self are not [url=http://www.chacha.com/topic/married]married[/url]