How to stop loving sb?

[shadowymist]

I've loved a girl for 2 years now, back then i was hoping it'd end, but it doesn't. It's getting worse. I'm like a looser ind of guy, un-handsome and so on and i'm not worth her. I should be loving a different girl, who has some faulty sides or is at least not that perfect....
I think i have some kind of depression- I can't sleep to much, i can't learn almost at all all day i think about her and my gratest problem is that i'm sick all the time--> i have problems with my stomach, fever and that shit ance or twice a week. And it's not that i ate sth. They say it's virus, but it's always the day afer i see her, because nowadays i get to see her somewher and say hi like twice or three times a week. Even if this doesn't have anything to do with it i still feel like shit. I stopped talking to her after i fell in love because i thought it'd help. So now, it's olny a hi 3 times a week which always makes me feel even worse.
I just don't see any point of staying alvie if it won't stop.......
maybe there is th i can do???

[Tone]

About your stomach thing, just keep seeing a doctor about that.

Re: the girl - you have to just understand she is 1 of about 9 billion girls on this planet. It's cliche, but there really is more fish in the sea. Life is too short to be hung up over someone you're not with, for whatever reasons.

And have you ever tried asking her to do something with you? Life is definately WAY too short to live with regret. If you never try, you will never know, and you will always look back and think "DAMN I wonder what would have happened if I had asked her out... I wish I would have just said something!"

Even if she rejects you, at least then YOU KNOW. You tried your best, and you can MOVE ON with your life knowing she's just not the girl for you, no problem because - you guess it! There are plenty of other fish in the sea.

Work on your fixing yourself up first though, you have issues, and I don't just mean your stomach problems. You need some confidence, you are who you are, so you better learn to like who you are, cause you're stuck with yourself for the rest of your life! Dress nice, take time in the morning to make yourself look presentable, if you don't already - eat good and healthy, and workout/exercise. You will have more energy and it will help build your confidence.

Keep your head up, fella.

[Gigabitch]

Poor thing, you're in hell. Tone is so right about nothing being worse than not trying. I hope you try to address the anxiety problem you have- it's wrecking your life.

[shadowymist]

I eat normal food and i swim a lot but so what....
It won't make me taller or handsome or anything. My friends make fun of me because i have big cheeks and am so short, maybe not to make me feel bad, but i hae myself. besides some girls just despise me. SHE does not but that's because she's the kind of person who doesn't think anybody's worse. But still, she won't love me because she's a normal girl. There is no point of asking her out because she'd be really shocked, she waouldn't know what to say, i don't want to puit her in such a situation....
It's just that i've heard thet dreams fade, like after 3 months or so you forget or at least stop thinking about sb all the time. And it's bullshit!! Now there's gonna be vacations and i probably won't get to see her even once during three months. it's even worse then because i really miss just seeing her pass by once every two or three days...
I don;t know what to do with myself....

[Tone]

You're not listening.

This whole "there's no point to ask her out because she wouldn't know what to say.." is BS. As in - bullshit.

You only live once, guy. In the long run, a little ackwardness for a few minutes to find out if she wants to hang out won't matter at all. Worse case scenerio - it will be a mere afterthought at the end of the day, and in a week it will be completely forgotten. Best case scenerio - well you just pulled the girl you been admiring for awhile now.

If you try and fail, it will suck but it's a short-term suck. Whereas if you never try, it could haunt you for years.

[Zero Interrupt]

It's just that i've heard thet dreams fade, like after 3 months or so you forget or at least stop thinking about sb all the time. And it's bullshit!!

That's true, it IS bullshit, at least mostly. Took me a little over three goddamn years of solid depression, but I eventually put it past me. Given, my situation was probably a little more ****ed up than yours, but, well, you just gotta put up or shut up. Either tell her how you feel, or remove yourself from her, it's the only two options if you want to stay sane. Change classes, or jobs, or whatever the case may be. Being near her, you'll never forget her, and if you can't summon the courage to tell her, then you need to be away from her.

[bugmenot]

SHE does not but that's because she's the kind of person who doesn't think anybody's worse. But still, she won't love me because she's a normal girl. There is no point of asking her out because she'd be really shocked, she waouldn't know what to say, i don't want to puit her in such a situation....

then tell her that! tell her you just want her to know that, and you understand nothing will probably happen, but could you live with yourself wondering what might of been?

And before you ask, i have been in your situation and am happy once again (finally got over Dawn! w00t!)

[Zero Interrupt]

but could you live with yourself wondering what might of been?

Listen to this. Think about it. Very wise words. Speaking as a guy in his thirties, I still kick myself over missed opportunities, even as far back as high school, when I wish I'd have just opened my goddamn mouth and spoke.

I mean, I was a really messed-up teenager, but the first time I ever tried to ask a girl out, I passed out on the floor. Literally. Out cold. But I was glad I did it, then, and in retrospect it's one of the things that finally helped me get over the fear. She may turn you down, but at least you'll know she did, instead of wonder if she would have. Regardless of what you think the chances are, you never know.

Plus, don't try to be "cool", or "sly", or "creative". Just open your mouth and speak, goddamnit.

Hell, I'll even cite a direct example, and show how stupid I was. Pam. We were friends, and she used to stop by and visit me at work after school, and talk to me for a few minutes in-between customers. One day she asked if I had a girlfriend, and I told her no, and she said she wouldn't mind the job. I said I wasn't looking for a girlfriend at that time, and she said "Ok, sorry", and left. Never came by again, and we kind of parted ways. I liked her, and would have liked to date her, but my stupid, ignorant, paranoid mind told me something must be up. Girls don't like me, and if one expresses interest in me, then it must be a trick. She wants something, or it's a joke. I kick myself every goddamn day for my stupidity, and sometimes when I think back on it, I wonder what would have happened if I hadn't been so damn dumb. If I'd said yes, like deep down inside I'd wanted to. Maybe we'd have fallen in love. Maybe she would've been my wife by now, and we'd had kids, and a normal life.

Believe me, you don't want that haunting you late at night when you're a week from turning thirty-four, and lying in bed alone, not able to sleep.

[HURT75]

hey dont let her get u down i know its hard i know i am going thru a similar thing

[shadowymist]

Maybe you are right, but i think it's too late...
I'm out of my mind I won't be able say anything knowing i want to ask her out. I can talk to her but it really stresses me out and we talk about normal stuff, our everyday lifes. Besides it's been a while since i last talked to her, she probably noticed i've been avoiding her...How do you imagine me doing it?? It IS impossible...
So i'm ****ed... It's gonna be like this for a fwe more years and then it's gonna be to late to find any other girl is i'll be to old. I've been happy al my life before and that was probably all thet was in stock for me so now i have to wait for the end.
Hope it will come soon.

Anyway, thanks. Now everything is very clear for me...

[bugmenot]

Plus, don't try to be "cool", or "sly", or "creative". Just open your mouth and speak, goddamnit.

he's right, i remember when i had Dawn (girl i really liked, she didnt feel the same way, but really did try and help) be all nice and hold my hand (altho not quite sure why), then she turned round and asked if she looked nice. i just stood their for 3 minutes almost shaking without saying a word!

Maybe you are right, but i think it's too late...
I'm out of my mind I won't be able say anything knowing i want to ask her out. I can talk to her but it really stresses me out and we talk about normal stuff, our everyday lifes. Besides it's been a while since i last talked to her, she probably noticed i've been avoiding her...How do you imagine me doing it?? It IS impossible...
So i'm ****ed... It's gonna be like this for a fwe more years and then it's gonna be to late to find any other girl is i'll be to old. I've been happy al my life before and that was probably all thet was in stock for me so now i have to wait for the end.
Hope it will come soon.

Anyway, thanks. Now everything is very clear for me...

suprisingly the strongest of feelings can dissapear with a new love (ok, that sound like bs to you know, same as that "fish in the sea" stuff, but its true!)