Advice for a friend?

[Tribulation]

I spoke a while back of a friend who'd been dumped by his girlfriend. This happened about 6 or so weeks ago. She said she'd been interested in another guy for about a year and had been growing out of him. She isn't even dating the guy she left him for I don't think. As far as I know all she's been doing is crying. My friend, he's been doing better but still has his depressed days. He's in another state right now visiting a friend with some friends. I was hoping that would get her off his mind. He didn't mention her for a few days but unfortunately it's one of those days again. He keeps telling himself that it was something he did to make her leave. No matter what I tell him, he keeps looking for reasons where there may be none, even though they wont bring solace or her back.

They started talking about a month after the break up. Way too early I think. I mean, he took her to a damn rock concert recently. I don't think it was the brightest of ideas. He wants to be with her still, it's not that uncommon for the dumped to want to be with the dumper I know but damn, he doesn't seem to want to see that they will never be together again. At least it looks that way. I know it's really hard for him as he lost his girfriend, his best friend, and his practical twin. I'm at my wits end. I've given all the input I can think of, done all that I can to help him. I'm out of ideas. He can't exactly just not see her for awhile as he works with her. I don't think he has the willpower to do it anyway.

[Only-virgins]

So what are you asking? The thing is that if she doesn't want to be with him then he has to deal with it and get over it. Did she finally get with the other guy that she supposedly got new feelings for or was he just a BS lie to break up with your friend?

[Gigabitch]

Refer him to LF. Really. NC is the way to go.

[Tribulation]

He wouldn't come here if I told him. I just know he wouldn't. I'm sorry if I wasn't very clear on the question. I was wondering if someone had any ideas to try and help him get over it. And no, the other guy is not a bull shit lie. She told me tonight that there were several factors involved in her dumping of him. She can't date the other guy because it's against store policy (damn communists). He might get transferred to another store though so that they can date. The guy is a womanizer though. Once he's done with her he'll drop her like a ton of bricks.

[Gigabitch]

Well, he's just a rebound guy anyway. Just a way to draw a line between herself and your friend. He doesn't really matter.

Your friends needs to date someone else. Even one single date will send a message to his subconscious mind that he is NOT dating his ex any more.

And, uh, maybe he actually SHOULD stop dating his ex. No more concerts.

[Marcel]

You are certainly a good friend..but you know what they say..you can take a horse to the water but you can't make them drink. He will have to deal with this on his own. Suggest counselling..that helps. Good Luck !