Friendship to ?

[Caskorak]

I have been friends with K for approximately 4 years. I met her when she started up part time at the place that I was working. We were both in serious relationships at the time, but I still developed a bit of a crush on her. We became friends immediately and started hanging out, going on hikes, going to parties etc. The person that I was dating at the time was extremely jealous and essentially forbade that we see each other. Over time we drifted apart, only seeing eachother occasionally to catch up.

Fast forward to April of this year. She had broken up with her boyfriend of 4 years a few months prior and my relationship with my live in (but different) girlfriend had just imploded. We started hanging out on a weekly basis, be it going hiking, out to bars, whatever but everything remainedl completely plutonic, despite the fact that I still have a bit of a crush on her. A month after this, she invited me to come out to her parents vacation home (she has a few friends out there every year for a weekend) and I accept.

A couple of weeks later we go out to the bar then over to her friend's place in a group environment. I only have a drink or two but she has a little too much and asks if I can give her a ride home in her car because she needs to be somewhere in her home town in the morning. I said it was no problem (honestly with the best of intentions) and drove her home. At her place we drank a bottle of wine and ended up hooking up. We talked the next morning and made sure neither of us were strange about it, that it wasn't going to ruin anything etc. etc. She dropped me off in town to get to her appointment and when she was done picked me up and we went for a hike.

She went away for a week for some training and we didn't talk during that time other than to finalize plans for the trip. When it came around I picked her and a friend of hers up and we went down a day ahead of the other people. Nothing was at all awkward and we had a great ride down. When we got there we drank and she went to bed, so I figured that was just the way it was going to be from now on.

The next night everyone else shows up (there were 10 people there total) and everyone got drunk and had a great time. A group of 4 or 5 of us went down to the beach to hang out (K included) and when everyone else had gone up we went for a walk where she kissed me. She said that she had thought about it a bit and before the trip didn't want anything to happen, but since the ride and just hanging out and talking she had changed her mind. She said she wasn't looking for something serious, but wanted me to come to bed with her. We ended up having sex that night, after which I told her how I honestly felt. She said it sounded like I was going to get hurt, but I tried to convince her otherwise (knowing that she might be right)

The next day was when we were supposed to leave, but we both decided to call out of work to have the place to ourselves for a final night. We watched a movie, drank some wine and repeated what had happened the night before. The day that we got back I had the day off and she went in for a couple of hours, after which we climbed a small mountain. We made it to the top and ended up making out, but she repeated that she thought she was going to hurt me to which I objected yet again, saying I wasn't going to put myself out there too much. I kissed her when I dropped her off at her parents place and went my merry way.

The next day we texted all day at work, and the same thing happened the day after that, which ended in me taking her out to a nice dinner and going back to her place for the night. She told me that she had been trying to convince herself otherwise, but she was really starting to like me. The next morning she asked when she was going to see me again, and her tone implied that she would like it to be very soon. We texted for two more days straight (and I mean ALL day long, with no real gaps... I have never texted this much in my life and she said she hasn't either) and ended up making plans to go out saturday night, followed by a stay at her place and a hike in the morning.

What I am worried about is that I want to turn this into a real relationship but I don't want to scare her off. I am enjoying her frequent company and really don't want to lose the friendship. I feel like what she is saying and the way she is acting don't add up (saying she doesn't want something serious, that she is going to hurt me etc.). Am I clueless here? Sorry for the multiple paragraphs, it all just came out and I was hoping to provide context.

[allsmiles]

I would say just have fun try not to rush things. you both just got out of relationships and she doesn't want to call it serious even though she may be acting like its a serious relationship. Things will fall in place if its meant to be. It usually takes women 3 or more dates to figure out if they are very interested. I think maybe she trying not to go for a rebound relationship. Sounds like she wanted to be single and have fun as a single person for awhile after getting out of the LTR. But sometimes someone comes along and we fall right back into love again. Maybe that is what is happening here.

[Caskorak]

Thanks for the advice. We went out again last night, spent the night, spent all day together (brunch, shopping, movie, driving around exploring). Whatever it is I like it as it is for now and it's not so much that I want to jump right into titles and definitions. I am mostly concerned with becoming way more attached than she is(probably already happened) and getting hurt when she tires of whatever this is. Obviously it would be impossible to back to the way things were so I am just going to go with it. I just didn't expect to find myself in this situation, as I handled my most recent breakup much more responsibly than I have others.