Long distance. It hurts to be away.

[Madklown187]

This is more of a Rant/Vent. but feel free to comment.

okay, so long story short
I have known this girl for over 4 years on the internet we got to know eachother and eachothers previous relationships. We always joked about being together but knew the distance would not let it happen. but we finally decided we were not gonna let distance stop something that could be forever. So...

Now we are dating. Its been about over 3 months almost 4 now I went to visit her a little over a month ago, things went AMAZING. we were all lovey dovey and kissy kissy, and i loved it cause i like that stuff. Her parents loved me.. pretty much everything went BETTER then i thought it would. I come home.. and i start to get super depressed cause i miss her so much.things seem liked they changed.. she started calling me less. saying i love you less. So i start to get worried about losing her and i start to get clingy. She doesnt like clingy. so i push her away even more. even less calling. sometimes all day without a text. We talked about it all and i finally got over the clingyness and stopped being depressed and cared less about what she is doing and focused more on myself..

Now here..

She just came to visit me.. she came here on the 5th and just left today. (the 8th) The first day seemed kinda tense.. started to open up again, but things were still different then the first time. We had a talk about how things changed and how we feel about the relationship and if we stillw anna try to make it work. She says she still wants to make it work but thinks later it might get to hard. Now i hope later we can love together.. we had talked alot before about her moving here and she said she wanted and was going to. But now she says she thought about it and wouldnt want to leave her friends and family, which i can understand. She asked how i would feel if i moved form my friends and family. i told her, Yeah it would be hard.. but she is worth fighting for and i would give it all up to be with her. and i would do whatever it takes to be with her. Now i know you might think, (well move down there then) but unfortunantly she lives in California.. which is expensive and gets taxed out the ass... where as i live in Oregon and its not AS bad. i told her if she lived anywhere else, i would happily move to be with her.

Now i dont worry about her cheating on me.. but i do worry about another guys sweeping her away. so i did sneak a peek at her messages on her phone...For the most part i was glad at what i saw.. but this new guy she recently met who is in a band and got her in for free and got her onto triviums tour bus has been texting her alot. saying things like. (cause he has been sick the past few days) "i wish you were here to comfort me a womans touch and voice would be nice right now" her response was pretty much, "Thanks for the nice words, blah blah blah" so atleast i know she is not talking all lovey with guys behind my back... but it still bothers me cause he calls her babe. and yesturday morning while we ere laying in bed talking she texted him saying "Hey, was thinking about you, hope your feeling better" Which i know is not a big deal.. but i mean is she really thinking about him enough to text him while she is in bed with me? She doesnt know i know all this. and she will be seeing him in november cause he is giving her backstage passes to the show and gonna let her meet a bunch of big name bands. This dude really needs to step back a bit. I joke with her saying how he wants her and she just says. nah hes just a really laid back guy, and he thinks im cool cause im not one of those barby girls who are just trying to sleep with them. (She is extremely gorgeous keep in mind, definantly the hottest metal head chick i know)

but anyways. The last 2 nights she was here we got closer again, got alittle more kissy and lovey. but not as much as before. Great sex by the way. but
She left today back to California, I got kinda emotional, she pretty much just said dont be sad, we will see eachother again, like it doesnt even phase her.
All i want is to be with her. i would give my life for her. She is the one i want.

Feel free to comment your thoughts

[gartlas]

Well it sounds like a bit of an imbalanced relationship. She likes you a whole bunch I think but just wants something more chilled out ,,whereas you adore her entirely. And ehhh the band guy wants her yeah but doesnt sound like she'll let him try. just relax a bit , dont be too clingy cos yeah it'll piss her off ,,just go with it ,,arrange to see her pretty soon but not for a few days imo

[Primo]

I feel for ya, it doesn't sound very good. The distance is just too much to overcome. People need comfort, affection, tenderness, someone's touch, and when there's distance between you, alot of times it's just easier to be with someone else.

I think a part of you knows that it's ending, which is why you're spying on her to see if she's being true. If you were meant for each other, it would be much more passionate and intense on her part when you were together.

Hope it can somehow turn around for you, but it sounds like it will end.

[Madklown187]

I feel for ya, it doesn't sound very good. The distance is just too much to overcome. People need comfort, affection, tenderness, someone's touch, and when there's distance between you, alot of times it's just easier to be with someone else.

I think a part of you knows that it's ending, which is why you're spying on her to see if she's being true. If you were meant for each other, it would be much more passionate and intense on her part when you were together.

I do not feel the distance is to much to overcome. It is definantly very hard.. but it is not to much to overcome. Yeah it would be Easier to be with someone closer, but just cause its easier doesnt mean its better. The way i see it, if me and her can make it through the distance we can make it through anything. I know i can make it, i just hope she can too, she already established that it might be to hard later down the road. which makes me sad, But ill do what i can to keep it going.

As for me spying on her, the reason i did that is cause this guy from the band has been talking to her alot and getting her into a Concerts, so i know he has to like her.. so i just wanted to see what they talk about.

Like i said im not scared of her cheating. i trust she wouldnt, which is a first for me. Im just scared someone better and closer will come along and take her away from me.

It is very passionate intense when we are together. not as much as the first time.. but also the first time was the first time we met, so feelings and emotions were just going crazy. Now that we have established that we love eachother and want to be together things have calmed down. Which isnt a bad thing.. im just kinda a hopeless romantic type.. so i like the lovey kissy stuff. And i get really emotional, cause i have such strong feelings for her, and i hate being away from her.

[Primo]

I think you're just going to have to wait and see what develops. Though I don't agree at all with the way you went about it, discovering she has a guy who's getting close to her and referring to her as babe, wanting some home health care while he doesn't feel well is a big red flag.

I think people can become extremely close in long distance relationships, but if they aren't brought together at some point in time, then it slowly destroys it.

What I meant about the daily contact, in person, is exactly what this other man was conveying to her. If she wasn't out of town, he would be getting soup delivered or at least a get well visit, some t-l-c, some eye contact, some gentle touching, even if it's innocent. Those things quickly become special between two people.

No data or phone line can substitute that.

Like I said, I do hope it works out.

[Madklown187]

No.. this guy whos in the band live in Chicago. he was just here on tour. And she met the band a meet and greet and got his number cause he said he could get her into shows for free and back stage passes. Chicago to california is more of a long distance then oregon to cali. Also like i said he is on tour so he is going around the US. hes not even in Cali at the moment.

As for him calling her babe and stuff.. i saw that she obviously is not calling him that. she just calls him "buddy" and says thanks for the kind words when he says stuff trying to make a move. I think she is just being nice so she can get the backstage passes.

[Primo]

Alright, well you were venting anyways, not looking for advice. Just see what happens, nothing anyone can do to force the issue except move to OR or CA anyway and from what you said that doesn't appear to be happnening soon.

You're not to crazy about her blaise attitude, feel she's changed a bit and had to dig through her texts to wonder if something is going on. Like I said, all in all, what you're saying doesn't sound great, but hopefully it'll work out and the two of you can be together.