Need help from a girl's point of view

[spiritofjosh]

Me and my ex of close to 5 years broke up about two months ago. We kept loose contact through out but lately she's been up and down and I feel like she doesn't know what she wants and that's why I'd like a female's point of view. I lost my job 2 years ago and have been collecting unemployment up until recently when it was cut off, so now I'm having an extremely hard time finding a job, this is one of the reasons why she broke up with me. She tells me she still loves me and only wants me, misses me so much and isn't and hasn't hooked up with anybody else because again she only wants me. So I argue with if she loves me so much then the job thing shouldn't be that huge of a problem and she agrees but says she wants to start saving money for our future and doesn't want to marry me if I'm going to be working odd jobs the rest of my life. This is understandable. But why I'm confused is she's really up and down with me. She'll call me at work one morning to say good morning and she loves and misses me and then text me during the day with the same, but won't say a word to me for a few days until I text her then she'll be kinda short with me. 3 nights ago she asked me to come over and say goodnight and tuck her into bed (it was our nightly routine when we were together) but I declined because I don't want to be a beck and call to her. She told me she'll call me after work the next morning and we went fishing for a little while and she said how much she loves me and misses me so much and kissed me and all that so I brought up I don't want to be her back up plan in case she can't find somebody else and she said I wasn't and that she isn't talking to anybody. I didn't talk to her until two days later (today) and she was being short with me and brought the whole job thing up again and I said if I had a job I doubt you'd be with me again and she said she doesn't want anybody but me but at the same time likes being single to hang out with her girlfriends and flirt even though she won't let it go anywhere. So I'm not waiting around for her anymore even though she means the world to me, but I just wish I knew what was going through her head because she claims shes not using me and not leading me on and will never want anybody but me but I need to get my life together. So do any girls have any ideas on why this seems so crazy to me?

[MerryH]

She's probably doing that thing where a girl thinks "I don't like this thing about him. I know! I'll break up with him and then he'll realize how much I mean to him and then he'll change and we'll live happily ever after!"

And yes, it's a bit crazy and manipulative. Is that ok with you?

[spiritofjosh]

That's what I somewhat guessed actually, because that's how she is. And although I adore her she has that aforementioned downfall. Problem is she wants me to prove how much I love her but if I try it turns into me seeming desperate then it gets bad, so best I can do is try and avoid her because I know her, she'll start to wonder what I've been up to. Either way I guess there's not much I can do for now.