I think a female's opinion would be best on this

[MDavis454]

So my ex girlfriend and I were dating for a year and half, she broke up with me very very suddenly and waited about a week to actually give me a reason. Supposedly she wants to make sure we are right for each other since i am her first boyfriend. This sucked but i felt the reason to be somewhat legitimate. However, she was hanging out with new guys the day after she broke up with me. She hangs out with some guy that she met at the mall who ran up to her and asked her number (i didn't even know that still worked). And she's talking about dancing with guys in her slutty halloween costume. I've made it abudantly clear that i want to be with her and she just said it makes the whole finding out if we are meant to be together even harder. What i'm wondering is does it seem like she's just trying to keep me just attached enough to maybe get me back if none of her little boy toys work out or based on what i've said does it seem like she's trying to meet as many ppl as possible to really find out if we should be together. What is the best thing i could do in this situation?

I will answer any questions and really would appreciate input on this because my friends are all just like "get out dude" but they don't understand the commitment i had for her and how much i love her. I guess i just really do know how happy she was (i was close to her mom and she told me what they talked about) and if you are that happy with someone, shouldn't that be enough to not want to be with other people? idk

[girl68]

Both.

She's finding out if there are better guys out there BY meeting all these boy toys. She's also eating her cake (as in she's trying to keep you close enough if none of them turn out to be better).

Your friends are right. They also understand. Look bud, do you think you're the only guy who has gone through heartbreak? Love and loss? We've all been there. And the only time you're going to stop replaying this in your head is to do exactly as your friends describe... get out. Hang out with friends, engage in your hobbies. Anything that keeps you busy is your new best friend.

And I'm guessing you're both real young. So chances are this "break" is a break up. Do you really want a girl who doesn't think you're the best and is going out to play with other guys? Even if she does want you back, this "break" and her playing is going to tear you apart. I can forsee a post entitled: "she came back, but she slept with other guys" (or something like it). So please just get on with life.

[Gigabitch]

Cut ties and move on. She will shred you for the next three years if you let her, as you slowly watch her "make sure you're right for each other" by cycling through six new boyfriends, a pregnancy, two STDs and a lesbian experimental phase. You and her mom can commiserate on he phone about how out of control she is.

[MDavis454]

Ya.. we are young, but we've had a more mature relationship than most others at this age. I'm like.. a part of her family. I'm invited to everything even if she isn't around and we spent so much time together. Went through the death of her grandma and the birth of new family members (NOT OURS thank god..) But I mean i don't know if she could've changed THAT much while dating me. she never had even kissed anybody before me. but i guess that's what could've changed things.. never really thought of that. I started dating her before she lost weight (i didn't make her lose weight, i liked her the way she was) and now she is just gorgeous and i think i boosted her self esteem up so high by putting her on a pedestal that it shafted me in the end. I'm definately leaning towards just not talking to her completely but i was just wondering if some lady out there could vouch for this bitch move she pulled. I believed her when she said she loved me and there is where i messed up lol

[Bumble_bee]

you're her first BF, and tbh, I spent a great 3.5 yrs with my first love, but eventually I 'outgrew' the relationship (for want of a better word)...I don't think you can blame her for that, but you do not need to hold her hand whilst she seeks new experiences, she is wrong in that sense, flaunting it in your face, expecting you to be there, and in the end it just makes you her doormat.

[girl68]

^ I agree with bee completely.

Can't blame her for what she's seeking... but she is wrong to keep you hanging on the side.

[funluvinsarah]

I agree with everyone completely. I will be honest I did this with my first love because I could. I was with him for a while and thought that I wanted something different but at the same time I still had him there waiting for me and doing everything I said while I 'figured' myself out. He stuck by me in everything but by the end of it we knew it would never work with us because of the things I did. We are now best friends and have great memories, but if she is going through that phase, which it sounds like she is, then I would let her go because you will always have what she did playing on your mind if you do get back together...and trust me it will never work this way.

Move on hunnie seriously its the best way

[MDavis454]

Well it really sucks but i pretty much saw that coming. Tomorrow is the last day. I'm hanging out with her and at the conclusion of tomorrow, we wont be talking for quite some time. Thanks for the input.. i really do appreciate it. She's just the first person in my life who made me feel worth something and it's just really hard to let that go. but now she makes me feel like shit so it's for the best i suppose.. I'm sure someone out there could use a guy who cares, right?

[Heratriumphant]

Word to the wise, if you want any relationship to work out (I mean ever in your whole life) you have to figure out how to feel "worth something" all by yourself. It ain't easy, but I wish you the best of luck.

[Severed_Heart]

Leave her, then do what shes doing since that's the only way your ever going to understand what it means to be with someone who is right for you. Just because your happy doesn't mean you couldn't be happier, you both deserve to know that.