I've decided to meet the ex

[capojacko]

Just wondering if people think this is a good idea. The way I see it its the only way i'll get a proper answer. I've asked a few friends and they think I should meet up with her...

Back story:

- Going out 8 months (went on holiday twice together, one of those travelling half way across the world. Also went to her Dad's wedding and stag do)
- Broke up in Aug due to "no spark" - (Total shock because of things above! Plus we never argued!)
- Got back together a day later as she regretted it.
- A month later broke up again, same reason plus she felt claustrophobic.
- A week later she goes off to uni.

We've been split up for over 2 months. She said it was the hardest thing she ever had to do, we agreed to stay friends and have been in low contact since, mostly initiated by me.

Last contact we had was yesterday when I emailed her to see how she was getting on. It mostly was just catching up and what we'd been up to etc. but then I suggested about meeting up when she was back (we said ages ago that we'd meet up at Christmas when she was back from uni). And she said "yeah that's cool with me" - Maybe I'm reading into it a bit too much but why is she so cool with meeting up with me? She must know i'm going to bring up the "us" talk at some point when we meet because of how I brought it up in past conversations.

She definitely knows how I feel about her, and in the past I've mentioned about us getting back together and she couldn't really give me a straight answer. She just said "I can't predict the future" and she said "at the moment we both need space and we'll see how things go"

I reckon the best thing to do is meet up with her face to face and just ask her straight. With email or text I think its harder to tell. She has been giving me mixed signals through the emails, they're all friendly and it doesn't even feel like we've broken up from the tone of them. She was asking quite a lot of questions and even asked me what i'm having for Christmas dinner?!? I know it sounds weird but it doesn't seem the normal "chat" you would have with an ex.

I think when people want to catch up they still have feelings for you and want to try and make things work. If there were no feelings or anything still involved then there would be no reason to catch up, so to speak. In reality ... if she didn't care, she would not respond to my emails or want to see me.

It just seems to me like she doesn't want to commit just yet and is waiting to see what she feels like when she is back. The thing is I haven't even begged her at all to meet up, she said yes straight away!

If she really wanted to end it don't you think she would just tell me there and then? And tell me there's no future for us?

I know she still cares about me. What does everyone think?

[lovedoctor007]

Hmm, it could be an interesting experience, i searched on the internet for you to find something that will help you and i found this:
[url]http://www.ehow.com/how_2040505_meet-up-ex.html[/url]
Another resource, i've heard good things about is this one:
[url]http://getinformed.isgreat.org/getherback.html[/url]

I hope it helps

[lovedoctor007]

Bad internet, i doubled posted

[capojacko]

thanks I appreciate those links!

So do you think its the best way to get a straight answer?

[lovedoctor007]

for your mind, i think yes, but don't force her to give it to you if she doesn't want to

[capojacko]

Yeah I agree it will help!

I'm trying not to get my hopes up too much about this, although it is looking better than it was. I have a good feeling everything will work out for some reason, I just hope it does! I did decide before that i'd meet her only if there was something still there and not just as friends. As time has gone on though I feel I need a straight answer which she hasn't really given me. The only downside is, that it will hurt if she doesn't want to get back together but i'm just going to accept that and move on...

I just reckon that maybe when she actually does see me for the first time in 3 months, that it might trigger something. Also all the amazing things we did (like travelling), its not something you do with just anyone!

I was thinking of just catching up to start with and easing into asking her, but not exactly sure what to say yet. I've also been thinking that maybe she'll bring it all up eventually, you never know! What do you think? She surprised me last time when we got back together.

I've been thinking a bit more realistically recently about it though, and also taken into account that it will be a long distance relationship if we do get back together :S

My plan is to go no contact until she comes back (just over 2 weeks) Its going to be hard it keeps going round in my head that she could be seeing someone else!! Which would be the worst case scenario! - I really over anaylise everything! Its gonna be a looooong wait...

[lovedoctor007]

Just do it to satisfy your curiosity, break the relation properly because there is little chance that she will get back to you after all this time.
Please for your general life happiness try to find a new life partner and don't try to live in the past