How do girls move on so fast from a long term relationship?????

[jacobandy88]

I just needed to get this off my chest. Ive been dating my ex for 3 years, we talk about marriage all the time, she said she loved me with all of her heart and that we were meant to be, and it was all sincere..i was so madly in love with her
We got into an argument about her birthday, she was pissed for a while, we did no contact for almost 3 weeks.
She calls after the 3 weeks and tells me shes happier without talking to me, and that before when we had an argument she would never be able to sleep and would cry, and that we argue too much (what relationship doesnt have arguments??) but i know she is talking to someone else at the moment i have a friend tell me so...she has been talking to this guy during the time she said she needed "time" and they have been talking to each other while we were on good terms, but she said hes only a friend. She made such an effort to let me know shes not those type of people who cheat emotionally or physically but look what she goes and does...
How the hell can a girl say all those things and not mean it in the end? how can she throw away 3 years like that like its nothing and move on to someone else?? its like she has no regard for my feelings after 3 years of being together..
I mean yes we argue more than we liked to, but when we dont we are soooo happy...
She also used that line "its not you, its me

[Tired]

women can be evil, and theres no point in trying to rationalize why she did what she did, she did it....

its the nature of things, she may talk to this other guy and realize its not wat she wants after all...just let her do what she wants if she still want her, don't push her to take u back or hound her or send her a billion txt's asking why shes acting this way. Just sit back, talk to other girls, keep yourself busy....she may come around, if not then u kno she wasn't right for u after all.

[damn2008]

Usually when girls are just plain "done" like that...it means that they've been building up that way for a while. At least from my experience.

She was probably losing her feelings for you long before.

[Yggdrasil]

It only tells me that it already was over long before she left.

Once there is a breakdown in the relation, the first thing that happens is emotional detachement. Once someone is entirely emotionaly detached, it's easy to move on.

[utopianhercules]

... but look what she goes and does...
How the hell can a girl say all those things and not mean it in the end? how can she throw away 3 years like that like its nothing and move on to someone else?? its like she has no regard for my feelings after 3 years of being together..
I mean yes we argue more than we liked to, but when we dont we are soooo happy...
She also used that line "its not you, its me

Yeah, it's her. Not you.

Don't ask these questions because no one is born to be able to answer that yet. Women are like that -- A bundle of emotions, tear tanks and confusion personified.

No, it doesn't matter whether she spent 3 or 30 years with you. All that matters is what YOU are doing to keep the relationship alive.

Have you turned predictable, too nice, wussy in these three years? If so, this move isn't surprising.

It's true that there are bound to be some misunderstandings, quarrels, altercations and misgivings. But you should lead the way. Ensure that she never throws that shit on you. There is no place for arguments. She either agrees to you or you leave her punish her, whatever.

[Graham Berkeley]

Another thing you have to remember is that women are genetically programmed to look for the most viable man to protect her children. That is as hard wired into her as it is in you to look for best physical shape woman to bare your children. If she doesn't think you are the most viable mate its very easy for her to cheat as it would be for you to cheat if she suddenly gained 150Lbs. Thats the simplified truth :-/

[Doc Durian]

She also used that line "its not you, its me

Chuck her shit on the lawn, change phone numbers, and bum screw her closest friends possible.

There is no room for that cliche in any valid relationship, past, present, or future.

Make sure you let her understand that.

[Freefalling]

One thing i learned from relationships is not to be as emotional as she is. When you got in an argument with her and you ignored her for 3 weeks...id bet anything that you were feeling bad and you wanted her to make that call and apologize. And during all those arguments you had in the past...she wasnt thinking about how bad "you" were feeling...she was too engulfed by how she was feeling...and you not making her feel better made her feel even worst. Meantime, a wolf in sheep's clothing comes along and attacks when she is weak... Making her feel better when you were the one who was supposed to be doing that. So now she is getting what she needs from someone else.

Now you might be asking "what about how bad i feel?" ...well my friend, you got to realize its the woman thats the emotional creature...not the man. Therefore, the man is supposed to use his brain more than his heart. Therefore, there is no good that can come from both of you feeling bad at the same time. This is the time where she is highly likely to cheat... And the more she loves you...the higher the chances.

[ecojeanne]

why didn't you contact her and why was there no contact for 3 weeks? if you loved her why didn't you go get her and tell her to cop on? that was a missed opportunity for you to show her how much you care. she must have thought you didn't and then while feeling emotional another guy came along and made himself out to be her emotional savior. a prince charming if you will.

[IndiReloaded]

Those 3 weeks was your chance to step up your game. You didn't. You went the proud/ego route, pretending not to care, and you lost.

I agree, she was probably already one foot out the door at the time of your split, but I bet she would have tried again if you made the effort. She may be hanging with some other guy, but chances are she hadn't yet let him make a definite move.

This is what happens when people mess around with intent. If you made your actions consistent with what you wanted, it might have turned out differently.

It may not have, of course. Mbe she is a bitch and was leaving anyway. BUT, at least you would have acted with consistency and wouldn't be wondering 'WTF' now...

Better luck next time.

[MrNiceGuy]

why didn't you contact her and why was there no contact for 3 weeks? if you loved her why didn't you go get her and tell her to cop on? that was a missed opportunity for you to show her how much you care. she must have thought you didn't and then while feeling emotional another guy came along and made himself out to be her emotional savior. a prince charming if you will.

Agreed. Excellent point.