A Question for the Fellas

[TheGreek]

To all the guys on this board, I have a question. But allow me to start off with a little bit of background information. I'm 17 and I'm a virgin. And so far in my history with relationships, I've been trying to wait for the right girl to come along to have sex with. But, it seems that the longer I wait, the more experience everybody around me is getting. I'm debating whether or not to just hook up with some girl who I'm not in a relationship with and just have sex. That way, I can lose some of the anxiety that I have around women and will help me to build my confidence around them. So let me ask, what do y'all think? And for the guys who aren't virgins, how did you lose it? Was it with a girl you really cared about? Or was it just sex? Do you regret it one way or another? Thanks y'all.

[Lite]

I didn't lose my virginity until I was 18. Now, I understand the peer pressure to have sex with someone, really I do. The truth is, you really don't have anything to lose by waiting until it is with someone you care about.

Do you really want to risk catching a disease or impregnating a woman you barely know, let alone don't really want to be around in the first place?

My first time was w/ someone I cared about. You can make up for a lot of experience by simply doing reading on the female anatomy and learning to place pleasing her needs before your own when it comes to getting your rocks off.

[vashti]

At the age of 17, less than 50% of teenagers are having sex, despite what they may tell you (and yes, a lot of them lie). I understand many boys worry that they will die a virgin, and therefore just want to do the deed, but I think you are a little premature in worrying about this. Why don't you wait a while longer for a girl you care about so you can share this experience?

[TheGreek]

I didn't lose my virginity until I was 18. Now, I understand the peer pressure to have sex with someone, really I do. The truth is, you really don't have anything to lose by waiting until it is with someone you care about.

Do you really want to risk catching a disease or impregnating a woman you barely know, let alone don't really want to be around in the first place?

My first time was w/ someone I cared about. You can make up for a lot of experience by simply doing reading on the female anatomy and learning to place pleasing her needs before your own when it comes to getting your rocks off.

Thanks for the honesty man, I appreciate it. The thing that got me thinking was what happened last night. I went to my buddy's house to watch the super bowl and he had a couple of girls come over. A girl who likes him and she brought this really cute friend. We were all joking around and what-not and got on the topic of sex. Now, the one girl who likes my friend lost hers freshman year to one of my good buddies. And the other girl, I'm pretty sure wasn't a virgin either. And the thing is, they were talking about this other girl who I know that seems really nice and innocent and how she was a total slut. That just got me thinking about how sexually "behind" I am compared to these girls.

And I also appreciate the last tidbit about doing some reading. I have. I've done quite a bit of research from what I would consider a quality source (Men's Health online and their magazine) as well as other sources. So, in essence, you're right. I guess that does make up for some lack of experience. I'm just wondering whether or not it is truly worth it to wait for someone I legitimately care about instead of hooking up with the hot blonde that was at the party last night. I just figured, if I caught up with my experience, it would boost my confidence around girls and I'd have less anxiety.

[TheGreek]

Why don't you wait a while longer for a girl you care about so you can share this experience?

That's what I've been doing up until this point. But in order to truly share the experience, she'd have to be a virgin too right? Thing is, it doesn't seem like there are that many girls who are virgins anymore.

[vashti]

That's what I've been doing up until this point. But in order to truly share the experience, she'd have to be a virgin too right? Thing is, it doesn't seem like there are that many girls who are virgins anymore.

That depends on where you are looking. I have a kid your age, and most of the girls he hangs with are virgins, which I know because they apparently don't even date. They are too busy doing homework and pulling outrageously high grades so they can get into the top-ranked universities.

The girls with lots of sexual experience are more likely to hang with other girls with lots of experience so they don't feel trampy. That is why it seems like there aren't many virgins left - they are probably running in different circles. (I hope that made sense.)

[TheGreek]

That depends on where you are looking. I have a kid your age, and most of the girls he hangs with are virgins, which I know because they apparently don't even date. They are too busy doing homework and pulling outrageously high grades so they can get into the top-ranked universities.

The girls with lots of sexual experience are more likely to hang with other girls with lots of experience so they don't feel trampy. That is why it seems like there aren't many virgins left - they are probably running in different circles. (I hope that made sense.)

It makes a lot of sense actually. Here's the thing, I go to an all-guy's school. So that makes meeting girls a much larger challenge. It's not like I can see a girl at school, in class, or in a school club or something. So usually, I meet girls at parties or football games.

The other thing is, I'm kinda worried about going to college as a virgin.

[vashti]

The other thing is, I'm kinda worried about going to college as a virgin.

Lots of boys are. In fact, my own kid is worried about this, too. Even if you go to college a virgin, you won't be the only one, I promise.

About meeting girls: you should try looking into joining some social clubs that have regular meetings. Have you thought about dance classes?

[TheGreek]

Lots of boys are. In fact, my own kid is worried about this, too. Even if you go to college a virgin, you won't be the only one, I promise.

About meeting girls: you should try looking into joining some social clubs that have regular meetings. Have you thought about dance classes?

I guess it's just the crew that I run with. I'm the only virgin in my group of guys. Now, some other guys that I hang out with (like my friend from last night and a couple other buddies) are also virgins.

To be honest, I was thinking about taking some dance classes earlier today. When I was in Costa Rica this summer, I learned a little bit of Merengue when my history professor at ULACIT brought in some of his other students to teach us. In fact, I really enjoyed it. The thing is, I figured I'd be too young for such a class and that the women would be too old for me.

[vashti]

Do you have an all-girl's school you are partnered up with? Maybe you can start a joint club, if not with an all-girl's school, then maybe with another local higth school. Also, if you have any community colleges in your area, you can look into just taking classes for fun there. So what if the girls are a little bit older? You will either gain (romantic?) experience with older girls, or you will learn a lot of dance moves, which will help you to attract younger ones.

[vashti]

Who are you again?

[TheGreek]

Do you have an all-girl's school you are partnered up with? Maybe you can start a joint club, if not with an all-girl's school, then maybe with another local higth school. Also, if you have any community colleges in your area, you can look into just taking classes for fun there. So what if the girls are a little bit older? You will either gain (romantic?) experience with older girls, or you will learn a lot of dance moves, which will help you to attract younger ones.

Well, there's an all-girls school across the parking lot and we do socialize with them at games, parties, etc. Last semester, I had 1 class over there, and 2 classes with girls on this end of campus. In the class over there, I met my homecoming date (the one that used me just so she could go lol). This semester, I only have 1 class with girls and it's on this side of the campus. I've tried meeting girls in that class, but so far, the one's I've met are all the same "type" I guess.

As for joint social clubs, the school's aren't really great with getting us all mixed up. I mean, my school makes the girls pay to come to our football/basketball games. I never really thought about taking the classes at a community college. I was thinking of a dance school with a bunch of women who'd be in their 20s, 30s, and so on. I mean, I wouldn't have a problem dancing with them, but it wouldn't really help me socially with girls my age (despite the dance moves of course haha). In all honesty, I wouldn't mind dating a girl who was 18 or 19. I'm rather mature for my age. Perhaps you're on to something vashti, maybe I'm too mature for all this high school nonsense.

[vashti]

In all honesty, I wouldn't mind dating a girl who was 18 or 19. I'm rather mature for my age. Perhaps you're on to something vashti, maybe I'm too mature for all this high school nonsense.

Maybe... high school girls are known to be crazy. I know; I was one.

[TheGreek]

Maybe... high school girls are known to be crazy. I know; I was one.

Haha, that I DEFINITELY agree with you on. First my homecoming date and then that girl from the "Second Date Ideas" thread.

[Everlovin]

Who are you again?

David Johnson. Remember the name cuz I remember seeing the top of your head.