I need romantic ideas

[emokid18]

I know this seems alot to read but this is what happens when you let problems backup. So i beg you please read on! Ive been dating this wonderful girl for almost a year and half and the flame has died down a bit and i want to rekindle the relationship. I want to spice things up and I want to do something really romantic for her but im stupmed on what to do. Everyone i ask for advice says "listen to her and find out what she likes to do" and stuff like that. even tho that is great advice im still drawing a blank. We have become predictable and boring and she not into having sex as much as she used to. Some might say that shes lost interest but i dont think that is the case. We both have been having money problems because she quit her job and i got layed off from my job a couple of months ago. So due to the lack of money we really havent been going out that much. Now that I have a new job we can not think of anything to do and it is very boring. But when we both had money back when we both still had jobs we were very indecisive on what we were going to do. I need help so i can save this relationship and have it not be boring. I want to do something really romantic for her and i want to make her feel special does anyone have any ideas that could possibly help me out?

[hallanole]

here is a major swoon idea. if you can pull this off, cause I don't know enough details.

cook a romantic dinner, or learn to cook her fave meal.

Set the table with some candles and some flower. NOT roses. to cliche. Blind fold her if you want and lead her into the room with the dinner.

All romance doesn't need to be going out. Just cuddling and watching tv or a movie is always nice.

And if you want to up the anti. Play a game. cards, board, whatever. Make bets..."who ever wins this round gets a free back rub, a favor of their choice, etc" it can end up getting interesting

just some ideas. hope they help.

[emokid18]

I do want to suprise her with something, but cooking is not my thing. We cuddle and watch TV all the time, i think its alright once and awhile but it gets boring day after day. I don't like watching TV all that much. My girlfriend is very controlling. When we are watching TV, she always puts it on what she wants to watch even if she knows i hate the show. O and when we go to the movies which is once and awhile because she really isnt into going to the movies that much, i always make sacrifices and watch the movies she wants to go see but when i want to go see a movie that i like she will tell me to go by myself. and if i even bring up to her that i sacrifice and see movies she wants to see then she will get mad at me and she will be like "fine. lets go!" and then because she is mad i end up changing my mind and we don't go.

[bluestrattos]

In your last post i realise that your relationship it's not very good. To make a relationship work, it must have concessions, and she never do that. You see the movie that she wants to see, even if you don't like, you do all the sacrifices for her and she doesn't do the same for you. You must think to yourself if you want to live that kind of relationship, i wouldn't but that's just me. hallanole's idea it's very good, but if you don't cook.... why not shut off the lights, use candles, some good and slow music, create a very good atmosphere and... you know the rest

[emokid18]

yea i know its not very good, we know each other so well, we have exhuasted stuff to talk about so there is alot of quiteness between us and like i said before she likes to watch alot of TV, cant talk while doing that. We are so well adjusted in our lives with seeing each other everyday that we really cant live without each other but we really cant live with this pain. She has seemed to be very unhappy lately. But i dont know if there is any other guy she could possibly be happier with and i dont mean that to sound stuck up.

[davidnc]

Hmm, let me take a shot at this. I've been around the block a few times LOL.

First of all, I agree with other posters that if she is only watching what she wants and not doing things with you or even watching TV shows that you like, then she is being too controlling. However, the main thing that concerns me is that you say that she has been unhappy lately. She needs to realize that NOBODY - not you, not another guy, not her mother, not her favorite teacher in school - NOBODY can make her happy but herself. If I didn't learn anything else from a 19 year marriage, I learned that. Way too many people look to other things and other people to make them happy - they look to sex, drugs, church, TV, sports, money, boyfriends, WHATEVER - but none of that can ever make them happy until they find their own happiness.

I was involved in a long relationship where the woman was the most unhappy person imaginable. I beat the hell out of myself every day wondering what I was doing wrong and what I could do to make her happy - and the answer was NOTHING. I could have cooked romantic dinners, I could have given her constant oral sex, I could have have bought her a Lexus - it wouldn't have mattered - until she was able to find her own happiness it wouldn't have happened (and, sadly, she never did). I hate to say it, because I know it is very cynical, but there a lot of people in the world who are NEVER going to be happy no matter what - even if they have someone, like you, who loves them with all of their heart.

Take it from someone who always has tried to be a "fixer" - you can't fix some people. Trust me, I know how it is to love someone who isn't happy - but can you be satisfied with such a one-sided relationship? An old cliche states that you can never love someone else until you love yoursel, and while I hate cliches, I have found that to be very true from my experience.

[emokid18]

We are still together and I have stated to her that it has felt like a one sided relationship and by saying this she started being more affectionate to me and letting me have the remote sometimes. But she hasnt changed all that much if any change is noticable at all. I have been unhappy with myslef lately, at least that is what I think is bothering me. Because me and my girlfriend don't get along too well but we love each other very much and I think it bothers me that we don't get along so I get very depressed with myself when I am around her and it makes her feel bad because there is nothing she can do to cheer me up.