This guy i met online (i know!) but i want to know what you think please

[skyrocket]

Hey! This is long but try to read it cause i really need your opinion please?

Okay first things first, i was one of those that used to make fun and laugh at those that date and even think 'love online' is possible. Thought it was really rubbish and a waste of time, i still think so but now i am in one. I think. So i really need serious advise from you guys.

I met this guy online while browsing on a sport i fancy. We started talking and i found him really smart and interesting. I don't like giving my real infos. online but he was too interesting for me to not talk to him again so i decided to break a rule and gave him my IM. Then we started talking regularly about anything. Life, school, books, films, music, sports and opinions on current issues. Yes, everything that two normal thinking people can talk about. Again, i found him even more interesting because of the way he answers questions and his opinions on things. I thought i have never met someone like him in real life and would love it if he were one of my buddies that i can chill with everyday. So the talking got serious that we would regularly meet and try to sync our time zones. He lives far away from another country, yes bummer and extreme huh? yeah so there we would really take effort and even miss sleep and other tasks just to talk to each other. We never ran out of conversations, really and we would talk even the most sensitive stuff that i can't even ask and tell the people i know in real life.

Months have passed and it got even more serious that we would tell each other really cheesy love stuff. But it took a while before this happened and now we just tell each other what we want whatever it is. He now refers to me as his girlfriend and would get emotional when i tell him about guys i see or meet in real life and on the other hand, i also feel something when he tells me about his girls and sexual escapades (yes we tell everything even this). Then lately he said that he's now very serious about this and is already planning stuff for the future. We even talked about possible marriage after meeting and dating. And now when we talk, we sound like a real couple and we both know everything about ourselves even the people around us. Yes, it even got to the point where we would be talking how it sucks that we can't touch each other etc. and all that jazz. We also send text messages when we can't go online and when we're both in school or at work.

Okay i know most of you would think im really crazy and psycho but really. I Know and i don't even know why i can't quit this or him. It got to the point when i told myself he's way way better than the guys i have dated in my life. And now i'm really planning to see him and try things out. Am i crazy or what? should i stop it? the immediate response from a rational person would be yes stop it but i don't know. I can't help not to say what if? and i can honestly say i feel like i will never meet someone like him in my life. So should i give it a shot or stop it? I've talked to him for months now and almost a year and i had to ask this cause it's killing me and i feel like it would go deeper as time comes.

I need all your serious and sincere opinions, questions, violent reactions , comments , suggestions or anything. It would be really appreciated and don't worry, you're not the only one who thinks im going nuts.

That's all. Thanks for reading.

[sookie6]

Hi Skyrocket,

Where is he from?

[kisswithafist]

hi!

Yeah where is he from? it would help to know that.

Have you exchanged pictures?

You need to just think straight dont you. how are you going to meet? if you do hes the man so get him to visit you and dont meet him alone if that happens, make sure he has somewhere booked to stay on his own before hand like a hotel. meet him with a friend first even if the friend just stays half an hour and then you text her every so often so she knows your ok, because you never know. But before all this happens you should talk using like a web cam or something where you can actually see each other talking.

i was watching a morning programme the other day before i left for work and a lady was on it who's daughter was 17 and arranged to meet a man who she thought was 17 also. the man had set up facebook, bebo and i think myspace accounts using a false picture. According to the mother the girl never lied and wasnt one to date but this particular night she told her mum she was staying at a friends, and she trusted her so didnt think anything of it as she stays at her friends often. So the girl was getting ready and she recieved a text saying ''sorry i cant pick you up babe, my cars broke but my dad will pick you up and bring you back to mine'' she believed this and then recieved a text from another number she didnt know saying ''hi this is dannys dad i will pick you shortly, ive just finished work and look scruffy and would hate to bump into your mum looking like this, so just look out for my car at the top of street''.

Then she went out said bye to her mum and got into the car and obviously the man she thought was the boys dad was who she had been talking to the whole time, he then had raped and killed her within a space of an hour after picking her up i think. The man got called into the police station the next day for driving offences and he then went straight to the counter in the police station and said ''ive killed a girl last night and i'll tell you where the body is''.
meanwhile as its the next day and getting late into the afternoon, the mum is trying to get hold of her daughter and contacted the friends house to see when she would be home. She found out the daughter obviously didnt stay there, and at 11'0 clock the night after the inccident the police came round to her the terrible news.

The thing is they had also been talking to each other for months.

Just be safe and if he's who he says he is all could be fine and it could work out, but be aware, it really is important, i cant stress it enough!!

[skyrocket]

Hi sookie6 and kisswithafist!

Thank you both for reading and the feedback. Greatly appreciated.

He's from Europe.

and yes of course we've exchanged pictures. We IM and Skype all the time and i would not be this nuts if i have no idea what he looks like really.

Oh poor girl. I know lots of incidents and it gets weirder and scarier and the victims get younger. It's insane really. But we're both in legal age actually and also done with college thus the marriage, future talk etc. The plan is to meet somewhere while we're traveling or come and see when one visits the other's country. So i guess whoever comes first. I actually plan to travel his city with friends so i guess it's cool. From the looks of it (and i know i'm not naive or stupid at least), he looks harmless so far and talking to him for months now, i've gotten to know all his good and bad things even vices and flaws. But of course, you never know and you can never say never right?

Thanks again for the advise and concern. Will definitely help me think more and be cautious. Sorry i'm invading this forum here because this matter is something that i can't tell any of my real life friends. Thanks again and have a good day!

[sookie6]

But where from Europe????

[the_robot]

I don't get what does where he is from have to do with anything... can somebody explain?

@skyrocket I've been (I am) in a similar but worse... if you think you can really trust this guy and you really like him, I don't see why you should stop anything with him...

[kisswithafist]

I don't get what does where he is from have to do with anything... can somebody explain?

Im not too sure i just wanted to know!! ha!

[VincenzoG91]

Which one of you is willing to move to another country? Away from all of your friends and family?

[davidtorres]

meet him but just be cautios about it. you know the rule, meet him at the public place and see what happens. its like just meeting a blind date.

i gotta admit that i met a girl online too. Not because i cant meet girls at the club/bar/ house party but because i wanted something different and i didnt have time to go out anymore. It was hard to meet girls as soon as i got done with college and i had my career going for me. also, my career doesnt really help meeting girls since there are more guys than girls. Anyhow, i met a girl online and it turned out good. we had a long term relationship for years and she was living from another country. I would visit her and sometimes she would visit me. however, long distance didnt work out since i didnt want to leave my country and i wasnt ready to settle down.

its funny because i met my current gf online too. lol btw, my recent gf found me and not the other way around.

[sookie6]

Where he is from does matter.

In Europe: different countries/different cultures.

Say she is from the States and he is from England, there will be less of a culture clash than if he is from southern Sicilia...

Not to mention, poverty striken countries where some people actually have an agenda when dating online...not saying this is the case but one shuld be careful before jumping into a relationship and investing time and money onto something that has little chance to take off.

I'd say have fun yes, but take this as lightly as possible until you work out whos this guy is, if there is compatibility, etc.

For now, despite of the time you spent together ONLINE this guy is still somehow a stranger.

[Gigabitch]

None of this matters at all until you meet in person and determine whether or not you have chemistry together. Is there any chance of that?