In Love, and indecisive

[MikeWest]

Well first off let me apologize for not making a proper introduction to meet the lot of you, but I absolutely need help in the next couple days and I'm dying to know what I should do. I'm a young man with some feeling some new-to-me feelings. Also let me say thanks to anyone who posts here, I thank you in advance.

So for summer I went on vacation to Italy like I do every year, and ended up meeting this girl out of luck, and we instantly hit it off. Every night we'd be out until about 3 am and just be talking up a storm and laughing. We have this connection and I can almost swear she's feeling it as much as I am, but its just speculation. I know for a fact I haven't felt this way about ANY of my previous grilfriend's or any woman in my life really. However we haven't kissed yet because she has a boyfriend, I haven't even tried to because of that, but I feel like its entirely possible. I mean, she's going out with me instead of her own boyfriend, that must mean something.

My dilemma is that I'm leaving in a couple of days, and my emotions are getting the best of me. As strange and dumb as this may sound, in this past month I've practically fallen in love with the girl. I'm going to see her probably one last time before I go, and I'm wondering what should I say? Should I play it off and just keep in touch with her for the next year and see what happens next summer, admit some of my feelings, or lay my heart on the line? I'm mostly in this dilemma because she's in a relationship and I feel terrible jeopardizing someone's relationship, but I feel that if I say absolutely nothing to her soon I'll fall in to a depression wondering what if. Please help, someone. I have absolutely no idea what to do.

[devonbrown]

She is in a relationship so she is off-limits. I would avoid declaring your undying love for her for precisely this reason.

But if you want to see what happens in the future, just ask her if she would like to stay in touch with you. Then exchange contact information. But when you leave try to think of the situation as a summer fling and don't let it stop you from other potential romantic relationships.

Good luck.

[MikeWest]

She is in a relationship so she is off-limits. I would avoid declaring your undying love for her for precisely this reason.

But if you want to see what happens in the future, just ask her if she would like to stay in touch with you. Then exchange contact information. But when you leave try to think of the situation as a summer fling and don't let it stop you from other potential romantic relationships.

Good luck.

That makes a lot of sense really, but I doubt I'd be able to date for at least a month or two after I leave. I was already considering just asking her to keep in touch privately and not making the confrontation anything more than friendly, its nice to see that was the better decision.

I overreacted for sure because I will see her again next year, but I guess that's what happens when emotions get the better of you. Thank you man this means alot.

[Vanessa]

What Devon said. Declaring your feelings now wouldn't lead you anywhere, she's in a relationship, you're leaving soon and won't see her until next year. By that time your feelings are very likely to completely change, who knows what can happen in 12 months? Keep in touch with her if you want to but don't expect anything of it. Plus, even if something were to happen between you, what potential could a relationship between the two of you have when you live miles away? Aaand if I were her boyfriend I wouldn't be impressed by her spending her nights with you and if I were you I'd ask myself if she wouldn't do the same to you, though technically nothing happened between the two of you but it's not as if it was 100% innocent on both sides.

[maxmax]

1) She lives in Italy.

2) You live in the US.

3) She has a boyfriend.

4) Nothing has actually happened between the two of you.

There would be no point in saying anything as you wouldn't benefit from it, and you'd risk ruining somebody else's relationship.

It's simply not worth it, and actually doing so would be selfish.

[MikeWest]

@Vanessa and maxmax I agree completely with both of you, but I sense a bit of a "what are you thinking" tone in your posts. I ask you please to give me a bit of credit, I'm young and awfully emotional and am bad in these situations, as I'm sure you can plainly tell. I thank you regardless, and I apologize if my impression was wrong.

Although just a question, say she were single and we became a thing, would a long distance relationship be so farfetched, or is it really things you only see in movies.

[maxmax]

I don't think anyone is judging, just helping put things in perspective.

As for long distance ... it can work, but often succumbs to a number of problems and strains.

I wouldn't give it much thought. Also, I would never use movies as a basis for considering real life love scenarios.