First of all, I don't even know if this forum is suited for online relationship advice, but even if its not I'm hoping someone could give me some general advice.
I met my wonderful girlfriend online, but we haven't been able to meet up in person yet. Luckily, we're going to be meeting up for the first time in the next few weeks, by car. That's the fine part, and I'm excited about it.
The problem is this: she wants to plan a trip by plane somewhere next month with me and wants me to buy my tickets now. The timing is just bad: I'm worried that I'll buy the plane tickets, and then we'll meet up and the chemistry won't be there, and that will be money thrown down the toilet. I'm not going to go by myself in any case.
Ideally, I love the idea of going on a trip with her if everything was going well between us, but being a pessimist I have to worry that when we'll meet up in a few weeks, the chemistry won't be there. This is such an awkward situation given the timing of everything. I just don't know what to do.
Does anyone have any advice? The best solution would be to meet up together first before buying any plane tickets, but I don't know how to bring that up without it sounding bad or insecure, as though I expect us to not get along well and have no faith in it. It feels similar to the scenario of asking your fiance to sign a prenup. I'm also worried that sounding unsure and insecure about us is going to have a negative effect on our meeting, too. In the past I've expressed doubt (insecurity on my part) and she has taken it personally and in a bad way.
I'm not even sure that if I put off buying tickets until after we meet up there will be enough time to be able to purchase them for the date planned. And no, changing the date of the trip isn't an option, unfortunately. She's already bought her tickets well in advance; it's more like I was going to be tagging along as a travel partner.
I know this is a weird situation, but if anyone has any advice at all on how I should approach it, I would be very happy to hear it. I feel like my options are basically:
1) Buy tickets and hope that we meet up and everything is as awesome as we've hoped for. If not, money wasted.
2) Somehow tell her that I want to meet up first before buying the tickets. Risk of hurting her, and also risk of not being able to purchase tickets on such short notice.
3) Just not go on the trip at all. I do want to and think it would be really fun. I think she would be disappointed and sad if I didn't go, though.
I'm so torn right now. I don't know what to do.