Sexual Harassment

[lilwing89]

HELP

i need to know what is best to do in a situation like this:

last night my gf told me she was harrassed sexually by some guys at school yesterday. i asked her what exactly happen and she said they unzipped their pants inside a classroom and made her touch their genitals. she would not tell me their names or what class/period this happened in fear of me telling someone/ not knowing what i would do to them.

she said she couldnt do anything about it, and nobody in the classroom saw it. i think it mustve been a big classroom, so it had to be the cooking room, the wood shop, or the gym. she said she couldnt avoid it; was forced. i find that hard to believe..

im thinking about going to the highschool principle and telling him all this today without telling him my gfs name.

but i need to know what to do, im scared i might lose her if i do that or something.

i dont wanna be with a girl who will let guys do that to her.. so i am VERY mad. i was also deeply hurt by this..

[giulia]

Wow. I find it difficult to believe you can be forced to touch someone's genitals inside a classroom. It's not like they could have threatened her with anything. I think you REALLY need to talk to her. I would go to the principal, but it all sounds very strange, and I have to wonder..is she telling the truth?

[lilwing89]

that is EXACTLY why i am having a hard time believing

i dont know if she is telling the truth or not

[lilwing89]

im actually wondering(if she is telling the truth) if she wanted to touch the guys genitals, because she wont even give me the names of the guys who were "doing this to her"

[giulia]

Hmm. This is a hard one. Did she say how the 'forced' her? If we can figure that out then it'll be easier to address the situation

[lilwing89]

all she said was

she was pulling away and was covering her face, and they pulled her hand and actually used force to make her do so

[giulia]

hmmm....ok. Well, depending on the confidence of your girl, this could be true. Maybe she was too scared to make a deal of it. I think it's wrong, definitely, and something should be done. The fact is, if it is true (which it could be) then she needs you to help her out. She needs you to be there for her, not getting aggressive.etc. I think that you should try get the names from her and tell the principal.

[Junsui]

If she was sexually harassed I'm sure it was hard enough for her to even tell you, it would be even harder to know that you think she wanted it. She needs to talk to a teacher or the principal or someone so it doesn't continue. They may have verbally threatened her and you just don't know about it.

[lilwing89]

good point guys. her confidence/self esteem is pretty low..

i have a feeling she is telling the truth, and i already am here for her
im going to tell the principle todayand i am going to ask him if there is anything she can do to prevent that without the whole school finding out..

she probably was verbally threatened but she did not say. im compiling a list of guys in her class(small class; 26 people) who i think it was

[lilwing89]

i have emailed her mom about it but i did not tell her that it was her daughter, vanillagrl.

her mother and father knows we are dating and they love me very much.

she was forced to touch the guys genitals, not them touching her.

she already sees a psychologist about an eating disorder she is trying to get rid of...maybe she will tell the psych.

[giulia]

I think I have to agree with vanilla girl. Parents are the best option. Just know to be patient with your girl, she will be feeling very emotional for a little while and will need a friend to lean on. I truly hope it gets sorted out, those boys need to be disciplined, your girl needs to have the courage to tell people who they are or they won't be disciplined..i hope you are able to talk her into it.

[lilwing89]

you guys are good

she is not available to talk to rightnow, being as she is probably still asleep and the bus gets here in about 20 minutes so i gotta go soon.

i am still going to talk to her.
i need to know if there is a way that they can be disciplined without the whole school finding out what happened. because that is what she wants.

i guess if you cant, it comes to a which is more important sense? well obviously the boys getting punished so they dont do the same thing again. she doesnt see it that way although i am trying to show her that it is.

do you think she would hate me in the long run for telling her parents? i told her that her parents SHOULD know and if they found it, itd be because she told her not me.

[giulia]

I don't think she will hate you. I think she is just really confused right now and may feel embarrassed. It will be tough but when it's all over she will propbably be grateful to you for being so strong for her.

[Lloyd95]

If she was sexually harassed I'm sure it was hard enough for her to even tell you, it would be even harder...

this made me laugh

[Junsui]

this made me laugh

Well, I'm glad I made you laugh!