dilemma,kind of.

[kidditoes]

so I'm gonna start right at the point. I've been in a relationship for 1.5 half year. I love my boyfriend but we're not at the stage of talking about the future. In fact, he never have told his parents about me. It concerns me what he thinks about the relationship because it seems that he never likes to open up for me. I don't know if it has something to do with us from two different countries. Both of us are international students living in the US. I'm Chinese,and he's Russian. So i don't know if he's thinks his family will disapprove of me,or it's him that is ashame of that fact that she's dating a Chinese(we're not popular in Russia,afterall)? So, I'm confused. He's a very intimate though, but since we live in the dorms we really can't have sex that often, like once a month. And once he even said that it takes too long to have sex,meaning he doesn't like to do it,and that makes me pretty down. I've thought about breaking up with him, but I can't because I love him and I can't get him out of my mind.
On the other hand,I have this guy friend I've known for 3 years. I knew that he's always had a crush on me and has told me many times. I always told him that I have a boyfriend but he still doesn't seem to care. The thing is, I love him as a friend and we get along really well, but I have no intention to date him even if I were single. He's a very sensitive person so I don't know how to tell him that without breaking his heart.
So these two things have been bothering me for quite a while, and it's a really bad thing since I'm finding it hard to focus on my more important things like school. So,if anyone of you would be so kind to offer me some advie on how to handle this,I'd be very glad!
Thanks in advance!

[Bokonon]

On the first guy, I'm sorry but it sounds like a really bad relationship and I would recommend ending it. On the second guy, if you don't have feelings for him beyond friendship, there's no point in giving in to his pestering you. In fact, you might consider telling him that he needs to stop bothering you about it because you aren't interested.

[Lite]

Basically, if the friend respected you he wouldn't continue to push hoping that you'd date him. The boyfriend? Doesn't sound like he's all that serious about you.

[kidditoes]

so it's hard for me to judge this:My boyfriend said he loves me and yet he doesn't want me to be part of his "Russian life." He said once he's done with school he'll tell everyone about his girlfriend but i still don't get it...

[snoz]

Sometimes we say things we thought we meant but years later to find that it ended up being a lie. Personally I like to think about the now so if you're unhappy then find someone else. You're still in school and there is plenty of time ahead of you.

He said he loves you but obviously not over his russian heritage or school so think about that. Do you always want to be second best? Sounds to me you like you don't. Then again perhaps he's a business minded person and wants to plan everything out first. Which case I guess you can only gamble on staying or leaving.

Good Luck.

As for that poor sod who has a crush on you, might want to tell him you're not interested and straight to the point. You'd probably be surprised at how fast he'll disappear. Can't blame yourself for something that you just don't feel.

[AirbenderAang]

I agree with most of these other people. Focus your relationship on the present. If it isn't making you happy now, then there is a serious problem. Don't hope that things are going to magically get better in the future. In relationships, you have to try to make change for any change to occur.

Stand up for what is important to you. Start talking about the future. You need to know why his parents don't know about you. It sounds like your relationship is going nowhere fast. If he values you and the relationship he will listen and try to change.

Your prospects look bleak.