My sons girlfriend has been cheating on him for 3 years???

[82Raised]

Both she and my son are 25 and have been together for just over 9 years. My daughter have been well aware she has been cheating on him for the past 3 years with his BFF. Most of the time it happens it when hes out of town town or at work. I know that shes with his friend today.
Has anyone out there ever been in this situation? Ive been knowing about this for 3 years and is just wondering how to ignore this or get it off my mind??

Mind our own businesss or no??

[madotnw_nihs]

If I were the son, I would want someone to tell me. Either your daughter or you can message it.

[Hooo!]

Tell the girl to either tell him herself or you will do it

[TheEvilJester]

That is such a tricky situation. On the one hand, it can be very difficult to make that accusation. It is very likely your son may not want to believe you and it could run the risk of hindering your relationship, at least in the short term. On the other hand, why would you just step back and let him continue to be used like this if you know about it?

I will ask one thing.... how do you know about this? Are you absolutely sure she is actually cheating on him? I only ask because it definitely is not the sort of accusation you want to make without being pretty darn near 100% sure. If you are wrong, then it just causes drama and possible problems where there didn't need to be any.

If you are 100% sure.... I think I would honestly suggest telling your son. I would say approach it gently and present it to him as though you are not 100% sure (unless you actually have irrefutable evidence). In other words, present it in a way that shows you regret having to bring it to him, but that you just couldn't let him continue to be used in case it is true. I think that may have a little better chance of being received well if you don't approach it like you are saying she DEFINITELY is cheating. Again, unless you actually do have obvious and undeniable evidence. Then that's a whole different story because you can prove it.

He MAY be upset with you at first, but you'll be doing what is right for him. He is your son, after all. You obviously care for him, and I think you rock for caring so much that this is actually a debate for you. Personally, I think your choice is pretty clear, which is definitely not to imply it will be easy. Good luck to you. If she truly is cheating on him, then I hope he gets away from her very soon and finds somebody who deserves him.

[bulrush]

Rumors are not solid evidence. Do you have any solid evidence of this? Like pictures of the girl and his BFF holding hands or kissing?

[Yadi]

Oh my gosh... The pain is building, its not going to get any better, if I were you I would get it over with quickly. If you do tell him, you will be the one taking a lot of the heat and the pain, but its better than him feeling the full force of it (If there is another girl close by get ready to hook him up fast, he needs to get his girl off his mind.)

Oh, and do something terribly embarrassing to that mate of his!

[Crazyalex]

Tell the girl to either tell him herself or you will do it

This.
There is no reason to let a relationship like this go on. Your son deserve much better, give her a deadline to tell him.
At first it will hurt, be sure to be there for him.
He shouldn't waste anymore time with her, IMO.

[TheEvilJester]

I'm actually not sure if I agree with the idea of telling HER you know. Maybe others can weigh in with their thoughts, but I'd actually think it would maybe be better just to tell him. Again, not to tell him as though it is hard fact unless you do actually have undeniable proof, but just to at least clue him in on what may be going on.

I feel like if she really IS that immoral and you choose to confront HER about it, she may just take that as a warning that she's not being careful enough and try to better cover her tracks so she can keep getting away with it without your son believing it even if somebody does tell him. I don't know. Maybe that's just me. Maybe I have too little faith in humanity... but I wouldn't personally even give her the chance to get sneakier.

[Yadi]

Just tell him what you heard. Times a wasting.