Crazy girlfriend?

[DaiUk]

I met my girlfriend last year at Uni. We're both 19, and normally she's perfect. Kind, funny, happy and beautiful. People outside the relationship still see her that way, but with me she's started to show me her true self. After the first few months she changed, she has a horrible temper, her moods change constantly. She can be her normal happy self one day then an hour later she's looking for an argument with me.

It started when she began lying to me, about anything, just to get a reaction. One day she sat me down and told me, with a serious face, that she cheated on me with on of my friends. She sat there, and said nothing until I got ready to walk out, before admitting she lied about it just to see my reaction. She then tried to laugh it off, trying to kiss me. She couldn't understand why I was so pissed off.

She accuses me of all sorts, if I talk to another girl she will remember it and then when she's looking for another fight, she starts accusing me of cheating. She locked me in a room with her once, and started trying to make me angry, telling me things to piss me off. We started arguing (again.) then she started taunting me, shouting and crying “Go on! Hit me, I know you want to! Go on! Go on!”...

I hate it. I'd never hit her, and she knows it.
She's lashed out on me once, though. That night when I was stuck in her room. She got so infuriated that I wouldn't hit her, she hit me instead. She sat in the bathroom crying for hours after she did it.

Then the next day, she's fine again.

I've never hated someone I love, so much before. I love her but, I hate her so much when she changes like that, when she starts giving me the whole “Fine! I'll go kill myself” emotional blackmail routine, I've gotten so fed up with it that I've yelled back “GOOD! Make it quick”... But I don't mean it. I go in to check on her minutes later.

It would be easy for me if I didn't love her, if I didn't care, I would just tell her to get lost and stay the hell away from her. When we're together in Uni, she's her normal self again.. The Anna everyone loves. Guys glance at her sometimes and I can't help but wonder “if only they knew...”

I don't know what to do, or where we will end up. Anyone been in a similar situation or any advice?

[miSSleepy]

Sounds like this girl has some serious issues... it might stem from maybe not getting enough attention in the past? She may need extra reassurance, etc etc... I don't know.

Are you the sort to sit back and just take it without saying much? Are you a pacifist? I know when I'm angry with my bf and something needs to be resolved, he'll just sit and and not say a word...which makes me even more angry and I just wish he'd do SOMEthing, even if that something is yelling back at me. She seems like an extreme version of this... so much more extreme that she wants you to hit her, maybe just for some sort of reaction from you. She seems insecure, judging by the time she told you she was cheating just to get a reaction.

I don't really know what's wrong with her, but you need to leave. Things are not going to get better any time soon. You have to ignore the fact that you love her and just break it off. Men hitting women is not right, but her hitting you isn't right either,

[agatha]

I see myself with your gf. We're having the same characteristics. My bf (ex) is really that patient with me before. He won't argue with me when I got crazy. He just understand me. But when he's already full, he got mad and fight me back. We reached 4 years and 4 months with that kind of situation. When he went to a University, maybe he realized how crazy his gf was. So he looked another girl and we broke up. Last time we met he said that if not because of my attitude he think that we're still together again.

In your situation, try to break off with the girl. She will just realize how important you are to her. That's what my realization was.

[PurpleStar]

sounds like se has so serious issues. has she seen doctor?

[doppelgaenger]

This girl is dumb. Do yourself a favor and break up with her; you know you should.

[Gigabitch]

Buy her an Oscar statuette and tell her you're done. Really.

[LadieNisha4u2nv]

Honestly, I've acted like that before although it's pretty embarassing to say so. But I must say it is an attention thing. I would basically let out a lecture of shit that was ****ing up the relationship and all he'd do is sit there and his only responses would be ok or I dont care anyway. I would get uber pissed because its like I'm putting this much effort into trying to get this anger out my system about whatever the situation is and he's just sitting there not giving a shit even if the situation pissed him off. One time his mother was in the room hearing our...well "my" arguement, and she said "But Anisha I didnt see him say anything"....well let's see....THATS THE PROBLEM. I dont know, I guess you can call me crazy....I've threatened to kill myself numerous times when everybody was hurting me cuz I was so ****ing angry, and just thinking about it hurts the hell out of me and drives me crazy. I say it is from being emotionally unstable and lack of attention....not from anybody but you. Attention doesnt have to mean attending to my every need cuz I surely dont need that. But it could just mean an occasional call/text to say whats up or see how I'm doing....simple shit.

What pisses me off about alot of men is that they dont realize its the simple things that make alot of women happy. That's what makes me feel so ****ed up in the head, the fact that I cant even get simple things that dont even involve material things or money.

[CompletePimp]

This girl is dumb. Do yourself a favor and break up with her; you know you should.

She's not dumb. She's mentally insane and he's dumb for staying with her. That's serious desperation if you're willing to put up with that shit for 4 years!!? He needs to grow a pair and break it off, become emotionally independent again and realize theres someone out there that will appreciate him.

[lastwish]

I think she needs attention or she is looking for some kind of excitement in the relationship. Have a long and warm conversation with her and ask her why is she acting like this. You do want to understand why she is like this right? If she can't explain it to you or there seems to be no reason behind it then she's crazy.