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Thread: Need advice about my immature relationship

  1. #1
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    Need advice about my immature relationship

    Hey guys, I'm a college in sophomore and I need advice in regards to my gf. We've been going out for almost a year now and the problem is that I don't really trust her that much. Here is our history:

    We were best friends before we started going out. I hooked up with her and her best friend one night, but we were just only friend and we were extremely drunk. I hooked up with another one of her best friends a week later. My girl (we're still not dating) got pissed at me and started liking someone else. Then we found out that we actually like each other despite what happened and we started going out.

    However, the past came to haunt me and the guy that she liked won't leave her alone and she didn't really do anything to stop it until one day well all got drunk he kissed her and she didn't really stop it. He then left and she then called him and talked on the phone with him about us three (she was still drunk stumbling around the city). All this time I was following he around because I wanted to make sure that she was ok but she just told me to **** off and give her money so she can take a cab home. I didn't want to because I wanted to make sure that she got home ok (I know her and I know that there is a chance that might be hurt) I guess the next day she sobered up and she did regret it afterward and came and told me, crying to me to take her back. Which I did since we were all really drunk.

    Another issue, she never got over the fact that I hooked up with two of her best friends and that she never really went out and "experimented" so during winter break she went to a party and unintentionally got drunk and blacked out. But she did know that she cheated on me by making out with some random guy and sucked on his penis twice. I knew she did it because she called me to complain to me about how my past bothered her. I called her back but that guy picked up and said "she's sucking my dick right now, **** off". It was the most humiliating thing that ever happened to me. At first I didn't believe him, so i kept on calling her phone and texting her (at least 40 times), but she just ignored it. In the morning after sobering up, she was really remorseful and cried to me and apologize for 2 weeks until I finally took her back. Maybe I should've broken up with her right then, but I didn't because she was drunk.

    Then a few months later, we got into a huge fight and we decided to take a break and on that break she became interested in someone else, but since we still loved each other, we decided to get back together, but i can tell that she is still interested in him (maybe i'm insecure?) but I don't really believe her.

    Recently she has been talking to him everyday through email (she left her email up and went i confronted her about it she didn't deny it) and they arranged to meet up and grab a bite to eat. So last night, since she's in college, she went clubbing and dance with a few guys until THAT guys showed up. She grinded on him and they danced for a bit, sat down and talked for 1 or 2 hours and then he bought her 3 shots and they left to go get food. She says that they're just casual acquaintances, but I don't believe her because she emails him as much as twice a day and they still talk about meeting up. When i ask her if she is interested in him, she said no. I told her if she is interested in someone else, we might as well break up, because I want to be the only guy on her mind. I guess I kind of don't want her to see that guy because I don't want to get cheated on again.

    I already felt screwed twice, I don't think I can take it another time. I don't know if it's insecurity or that my fears are justified, what do you guys think?

    One thing I don't like about the current situation is that she downplays the fact that she wants to see him or just hang out with him. She says if she does or doesn't see him then whatever. However, she specifically went to a club where he'll be, so I think it makes sense that she is interested. She said that she was only with him a little bit, but i don't really believe her on that one. I don't want her seeing him again. Is that reasonable?

    Guys, what should i do? Should i let it go or what? I'm just stressed out right now. Maybe it's not a big deal, but to me, it's huge. I use to trust her but now I don't really trust her that much anymore.

    She says that they're casual friends, but I think that she's keeping her options open. I just don't want her to have another guy on her mind. Am I being too overprotective or should I let her keep on talking to that guy everyday and let them meet maybe once every few weeks (as the current situation stands). Is it innocent friendship or something more? I don't want it to blossom into something and get screwed again.

    Thanks for your advice guys, I have a lot to vent about, but I can't think of anything more regarding this situation. I do have more though. Thanks for reading.

  2. #2
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    Here's the problem with the relationship. It really is YOU and not her.

    It's YOU because you DO not value yourself enough to NOT PUT UP WITH CRAP LIKE THAT FROM SOMEONE THAT supposedly LOVES YOU. Need to see it again? Go back and re-read only the capitalized words for emphasis.

    The value of the relationship starts when you value yourself, your boundaries, and you define clearly what is and is not acceptable in the relationship. You need to cut her loose and find someone who: A) actually loves you enough to not suck another man's cock. B) does not get drunk and make out w/ other men. C) Is willing to tell another man to **** off because she is in a committed relationship with you. Or D) ALL OF THE ****ING ABOVE.

    Got it?

    Cut her loose, move on with your life. Your time, your emotions, your energy, and your self esteem are worth far more than this woman ever will be to you. PERIOD.
    "Well, then," the Cat went on, "you see a dog growls when it's angry, and wags its tail when it's pleased. Now I growl when I'm pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad."

  3. #3
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    She has cheated on you already...
    being drunk is not excuse. You should have dumped her ass when it happened the first time. Get out while you can!! Obviously there is attraction towards that other guy, I know I sometimes go to certain clubs if I know a certain person who I want to see is going to be there. Also, I wouldn't grind on someone or go to see them at a club/let them buy me drinks if i was in a committed relationship. She clearly likes him. If she wanted you and only you, you would know.

  4. #4
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    Uhh.. why are you in this relationship?

    It really sounds like you're both at fault-- you hooked up with her close friends to kick off the relationship and during it she admitted to cheating on you twice.

    Drunk or not, that's not an excuse.. if you both have such an issue drinking and hooking up with other people [for her: to the extent of "blacking out"] then.. idk, maybe you shouldn't drink? Seriously. If you can't be responsible enough to control yourself while drinking, then you shouldn't be in a relationship. Period.

    It's time to end this and move on.

  5. #5
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    So wait, why are you dating a slut again?

  6. #6
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    the fact that you refer to it as an immature relationship makes me think you know that you shouldn't be in it. Get out ASAP.

  7. #7
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    Jamie Foxx ft. T-Pain - Blame it ;P

    [ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6BalQBqRCis"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6BalQBqRCis[/ame]
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  8. #8
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    Dump her ass and never get back with her
    Relationships are never a threat, cause I'll Erase the history and act like we never met

    --Joe Budden

  9. #9
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    I don't really think advice is needed. All you have to do is read over what you wrote on here and the course of action is pretty obvious. DUMP HER!

    Being drunk is NOT an excuse for cheating (there is no excuse) and there is no way in hell I can see you trusting her.

    Also, there are plenty of women out there who are mature and have respect for themselves and others. I suggest you go out there and find them!

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