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Thread: i blame myself, what on earth do i do?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    14

    i blame myself, what on earth do i do?

    once again it's that same little nagging bug at me again. noring away at me untill i finally snap. Confused as what to do, maybe it's even pointless as to what i will do.

    in November i split up with my partner of two years. In that time we had some amaizing times although due to my money constraints i made it rather boring for her. She did however achieve an amaizing qualification record while we were living together. Now that we have split up she's dating a guy called jamie, hes never had any qualifications and has turned her into a drug addict persay. She no longer achieveing her acidemic qualifications and it's her last year, and shes back to the old times where her BF usd to physically beat her.

    I want to stop this (again) and my feelings for her are so strong that it's not funny. I visit her every so often, and we have remaind very close friends, I know she is happy to leave her BF but she has the mentality that she can't do any better.

    what should i do? i can;t stand to see her getting bashed and abused like this, and shes going to lose her $120,000 interior design qualification unless she finishes iit this year.

    what should i do? try and change things between us to help her? how can i proove how i feel about her? and that im not going to be like her old BF? it's killing me on the inside again

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Los Angeles
    Posts
    7,098
    Sorry you are so unhappy, but there isn't a thing you can do about it. Prepare yourself to be bummed out for awhile, and forget about her. Move on. Keep away.

    You know, I never can understand you "rescue-the-damsel-in-distress" types. What is it that appeals to you about this situation? Is it that on some level you get to feel "superior" to her? Are you insecure about your ability to attract an "undamaged" girl of higher quality? I do not say this to be unkind, but think about it: you only get one shot at life. Wouldn't you rather spend it with someone who doesn't need a lot of "fixing up"? We all come pretty much "as is" and it seems sad to try to force a fit with excessively needy people thinking we can "fix" them later.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    GA, USA
    Posts
    629
    Lvn this must be extremely hard to deal with knowing that shes being abused. I have been there and I do know what its like, and I know that when you are in a situation like that you WANT someone to help you.
    I say the best thing you can do, even though it will be dangerous but well worth it, is try your best to talk her into leaving this guy and getting some support from a local community help center. There are places that people like her can go to get help, and to get away from this guy. Let her know she IS worth it, and that she doesnt deserve to be hurt like that at all. It may take time, God knows the custody battle between my mother and father lasted 6 months, but it is well worth it in the end.
    If you love her as much as it sounds like you do... help her and dont give up on her. In the end she should see that.
    ~Sarah~

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