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Thread: Help with family...

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Austin, TX
    Posts
    616

    Help with family...

    Well, I am at a weird bind, and I don't know if I am in the right or wrong.. most likely a little bit of both.

    My parents paid for my education, they gave me a roof to live in, etc... and I absolutely appreciate them for everything they have given me.

    I am currently, utterly and entirely independent. I pay my own bills, I go to my 9-5, I am living my own life.

    My parents, ask me to "help out" with things way outside the ordinary. They are in Japan, so when they ask me to do things that can only be done in America, I do it. But, they also ask me to pay their online bills (which they are capable of doing themselves), and even then, I still do it. But, if I miss an email, or if they send me an email while I am at work (URGENT DO THIS BY 4pm!!) I get yelled at.


    Anyhow...
    I had a small tiff with my family. They have personal assistants to help them with their crap. Their personal assistant messed up, and so I got an email basically saying "Do this, you are the one that needs to be processing our bills".

    ...

    As a result, I decided to push-back... not too much. I sent an email back, telling them I paid the bill that got messed up, but their personal assistant and my mother, both have full privileged access to do this as well.

    The next thing I know, I get a call, yelling at me for giving them attitude (honestly, there was zero emotion in my email, I simply stated facts :/)

    So, I sent an apology email, saying "I am not working for you guys, I am just helping out with things that need to get done, so please don't yell at me about it...."

    (5 minutes)
    ...
    My step-dad calls, telling me he doesnt care if I am or am not working for him, he tells me to do these bills, I should do them. Then my mom chimes in, telling me I am a pompous ass.
    So I am conflicted. I have the type of personality that goes out of my way to help those around me. That said, I have the feeling I might head over to my 30s with my parents still asking me to pay their bills for them. ...which, frankly, I don't care for at the slightest, especially when they are able to do it themselves.

    So, ... wtf mate. Should I stand my ground? I told them "go ahead and send me your bills, ill take care of them, im just trying to help out" ... but jesus god I feel trapped. Whats worse is they are all the way across the world. >_<

    Little background, I am newly employed (first job out of college), I use to work for my parents every day during my undergrad and grad school. ..... :/

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    California, USA
    Posts
    126
    It is all up to you. You could refuse to pay their bills. You could continue paying their bills. You could try talking to them. Whatever you do there are consequences.

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