Hey everyone. I hope you guys might be able to offer some useful insight. I'm in somewhat of a unique relationship, and some extra perspective I think would help me considerably.

A little over a year ago, I started hanging around this girl every weekend and we became fast friends. I am 37 and she is 26. We are very much alike in many ways and like a lot of the same interests. She is my best friend. A month ago however, she indicated that she would be interested in a relationship as a kind of self-push for herself. Alow me to explain her in more detail.

She is 26 years old and still a virgin. Most people would describe her as eccentric. She is very intelligent and has dreams of being a successful book writer. She has not even been in any sort of relationship since high school. In fact, a relationship scares her. In this case, I think her biggest fear is hurting me. She is very much a loner, and a relationship is quite an unnatural feeling for her. Some bullet points:
  • She says she is not capable of deep emotional feelings. Whether this is self taught behavior, or from being rejected in high school, I don't know. I do know that there are people out there that are like this without any reason, and she may very well be one of those people. She has never been in a relationship where she has been hurt before. A lot of her HS issues were being turned down by guys. She says she just learned to live without the need for a relationship.
  • She has made it very clear that her dreams and goals come before a relationship. I am ok with this. Neither one of us are big fans of rules anyway.
  • She is interested in sex and she seems comfortable being with me. She has a great deal of trust for me and we have did just about everything except full blown sex. That part she is terrified of because of the fear of getting pregnant. (She is not on the pill and doesn't like what it does to her + Condoms are too unpredictable.)
  • She despises change and has a hard time dealing with it.
  • She does not like being kissed on the lips. (Too personal perhaps?) She also does not like talking about her feelings.


What I want to know is, is there a possible future here with this girl? I love her dearly and could never ask for a better friend to have. I hate to give up on the possibility of a successful relationship with her, even if it takes a few years. But it's possible she is incapable of bonding emotionally with anyone. Is it even possible to be in a relationship with someone like that? I am wise enough to not take it personal. It just might be the way she will always be.

Anyway, i'm very understanding of everything, and the fact that I know her so well is the only reason why it's even gotten this far. In all my life I have never found someone so appealing to me. At least on a friendship level. I entered this relationship with high hopes, thinking that maybe time would bring her closer, however, she says she still feels for me like I am still just a friend. Granted, it's only been a month, but we have been friends for nearly a year and a half before this.

Thank you all for any insights you can offer.