help with understanding my ex

[theeric33]

So I've been dating this girl for about 4 months. We had a really intensely loving relationship really fast. I've never just laid in bed and held someone and talked and kissed for hours on end before. We talked a lot about us both being scared of something serious and especially "this" since it was so good.

For the last few days she's been sort of avoiding me, just in that she would make sure to make plans with her friends instead of me. No big deal but she would mention stuff like she's trying to figure stuff out and yet keep up our sort of texting etiquette. I knew something was up and she told me she wanted to talk about it on friday.

Friday came and she ended it. Only monday were we cuddling and kissing on the couch, smiling like fools. We never told eachother we were in love, we both just kind of knew it. Everytime one of us was about to say it, the other would just kind of agree. I'm really torn about telling her that, just so she knows that's where i was/am at. Anyways, I'd really like to understand where she's coming from so here were her reasons:

It's too good, too fast. She loses her friends when she's serious, was already neglecting them, and doesn't want that to happen. She's not ready for something like this. She just wants to do her. If she could be with anyone right now it would be me.

I dont understand at all, but she's very honest and really doesnt have a reason to lie about any of it. I don't get what being "ready" means and how she can walk away from something so good (objectively, her friends were always commenting about how happy i made her and how crazy different (good) i was than her past boyfriends).

She told me this is going to be really hard for her and that she doesnt want me gone and that she will be destroyed and want to talk to me. I have no idea if I'm supposed to go after her, finally tell her that i'm completely in love with her and that things will always be ok or if im supposed to let her "do her". Please help me understand what the hell is going on, this was by far the best relationship either of us have ever had and i really don't want it to be over.

[xxazurexx]

I don't understand this type of female. I don't understand how they can get that close to a guy, then for no apparant reason turn around and tell him that they no longer want to be in a relationship with him.

The only time I'd ever give a guy the 'I don't want a relationship' speech , is if I wasn't feeling it for him anymore or having second thoughts.

It doesn't make sense to end something and with a person you love. So for that reason, I'm gonna say that she obviously wasn't as happy and content in your relationship, as you like to think she was. The 'this is gonna be hard' and she still wants to remain friends, eases her guilt and softens the blow for you.

Happens all the time and men do this to women too. Everythings great, suddenly he distances.....then comes the 'speech'...'I want space' or 'I don't want to be in a relationship anymore'.
I tend to think that it is when the 'rose tinted' glasses come off, that people start weighing up what they really want and decide if this is the person they want to move onto the next level with. Everythings always hunky dory in the early days.

[MerryH]

If she felt like she was neglecting friendships and couldn't do things she normally does, then maybe you were a bit too clingy? Too demanding of her time? Sucks that she didn't try to work any of this out with you, but it's probably best that you leave it alone. Move on.