What is going on in his head?

[Music4Life]

Hi, so i had this guy friend who had a crush on me. I then later had a crush on him but he told me he was no longer interested. Anyway, before I told him I had a crush on him we had been talking for about 3 months on a weekly basis. we would talk for hours and he kept telling me he really wanted to hang out with me and get to know me. After I told him about my crush on him he became very distant. he would no longer joke around with me, he didn't want to hang out with me anymore and he didn't even really want to talk to me. I don't know if I pushed him away because I came across as clingy, I was just really messed up when it came to him. He used to tell me how much he liked talking to me, now it's obvious he doesn't. he tells me that he cares about me and I can tell when he looks at me, he always smiles back at me. What should I do? should i just remain distant from this guy as well? maybe after a while of not talking to me he'll remember how he used to like talking to me. he's the one who started talking to me again after 3 years telling me he missed me... I just don't know how to handle this... I want to be his friend now, but I'm not sure if he wants to be mine.

[CAM]

He is not ready to "engage" yet. Inside, he's a little boy who sees the pretty girl look at him, gets a bump in his pants, and then runs to mommy for a reassuring hug and a glass of Kool-Aid.

In short, don't worry about it, one way or the other. Don't over-think things. I'll do that for you

[intrepid1]

I think he really, really liked the idea of having someone he's attracted to also being someone who he could really talk to, confide in, and have as a real friend. This can be really hard to find sometimes. Then you confessed your crush, and you changed in his eyes-you became what he is probably afraid of and is intimidated by. Before you were safe- a safe place he could go & just be himself, and he liked that place a lot- and he was not vunerable there. Now he knows that if he goes forward with this these roles will change, and he will lose this. We men are clueless sometimes-this would probably be a great relationship for both of you-but he's afraid to risk it. Try to get back to that place you were before. DO NOT push him, badger him, or attack him-you need to be seen as a welcoming, gentle place to go, not a place of conflict.

[JJfromphilly]

sounds like he has the old "wants what he cant have" thing. Once he knows u like him the gigs up. Sounds like an uimmature guy to me.

Also, he might resent you for not liking him earlier, and now that hes back in control, he may enjoy the power he now has and seeing you squirm