The Healing Begins

[whitedragon20na]

Today I noticed that whenever this girl I've been talking to since my break up gets online, I get really happy and I feel so much better. I've talked to her a lot and I can't stop thinking about her (when my ex isn't running through it). I always want to talk to her and hope that I'll hear from her.
I know at this point, the now ten day mark, I'm not ready to start dating again. She just reminds me a lot of my ex, but better actually. She also just got divorced not too long ago because her husband cheated on her and she's going through a painful time as well.
I know that these actions means that I am starting to heal, but it's a long process.
I just wanted to hear if anyone has any advice for me or any comments.

[shh!]

Slow down, there, cowboy. It is way too early to be thinking of girls yet.

[whitedragon20na]

I know at this point, the now ten day mark, I'm not ready to start dating again.

I know that.

[whaywardj]

That part of you which gets happy when you see this other woman online is your new outlook birthing. Treat it like the infant it is. Pay attention for it. When it shows up, give it room to be safe. Remove from its vicinity any dangerous or sharp objects, such as comparisons to your ex, or expectations it's ready to walk to before it can crawl. Just admire that it's there and, as it comes around more often, growing larger and more mature each time, listen to what it tells you it needs to thrive and give it those things. Don't try to give it what you think it needs, or what you want it to have. Give it what it asks for. The smile which comes to your lips will tell you when you've given it the right thing.

[mini696]

Meh...

You're young... You have had your heart broken by your first root...
I think you are over reacting and feel like its worse than it should be.

Get out on the market, and get into it.

Mick

[Only-virgins]

Talk about easily amuzed.

[mini696]

I just wanted to hear if anyone has any advice for me or any comments.

I do.

I know at this point, the now ten day mark, I'm not ready to start dating again.

Counting the days seems a tad obsessive. I'd be calling it 2 weeks (makes it seem like longer). But maybe thats too picky. Come to think of it, I'd be saying "we broke up a while ago"

She just reminds me a lot of my ex...

Uh Oh...

...but better actually.

Of course shes better. She talks civily to you.

She also just got divorced not too long ago because her husband cheated on her and she's going through a painful time as well.

Never, ever, ever use the quote "I know what you are going through" with her then. She'll think your cute, but know you are lying.

...but it's a long process.

Not if you find a rebound.


Mick

[missguided.rose]

The whole "reminds me of my ex" is a bad thing to go for if you're trying to GET OVER the person... then again people have said rebounds are always the best cure.. I wouldn't know because I've never been in that situation. While it's good to know you have some people who will cheer you up while you're going through this, I don't think you should be looking at *anyone* in terms of relationships when it's so close to the breakup.. unless you were going out with her for like 2 weeks ;-)

[Tone]

Yeah just be there for each other, but don't try to force anything and think she is the new love of your life.

[whitedragon20na]

Yeah just be there for each other, but don't try to force anything and think she is the new love of your life.

Yea, that I know. Right now I'm just looking for a close friend, the last thing I want is a relationship right now.

Thanks to everyone who has given their input.

[JonathanP]

he he. Reminds you of your ex? Getting hit in the head with a bat by Cal Ripken wasn't bad enough? So your going for Ripken jr.? hrmmmm sounds like you haven't emotionaly let go of your ex yet. I think you better get your vision straightened out first before you "look" at other prospects.

[whitedragon20na]

Okay, when I say she reminds me of my ex, I'm just referring to how sweet and kind she is. Basically that she's a sweetheart and so nice, that's it.
Nothing else about her reminds me of my ex.

[Tone]

Just stop with that dude, stop comparing. Stop the ex talk!! Instead say she reminds you of misombra, sweet and kind!

But seriously just stop the whole ex thinking. Next thing you know the new girl you meet you'll be here "Yeah she reminds me of my ex.. how she's all like a girl and stuff"

And never ever let anyone you possibly become interested in hear you say anything like "You remind me of my ex har har you're so sweet like her!" Get a grip!

[whitedragon20na]

Well, I stayed up all night talking to her last night. It was wonderful. I just look forward to talking to her whenever I can. She's so cool she's been there and listened to everything I've had to say, especially all that stuff that I kept going on about my ex.

[Tone]

LoL everytime I see a post by you the first thing I do before even reading it is scan for the word "ex" and sure enough I'm never disappointed.

Edit: Glad to hear things are going good with your new friend.