Very physical relationship?

[HereComesTheSun]

Hi all, i would like someone to give me some insight to my relationship. If it gets long, i apologise.. I just want to get some accurate answers regarding all the information i can.

I am starting to wonder about my relationship lately. I am unsure of if it is right or not..

We are very close and have been together for close to 2 years now. But i am not sure we are close in the right way? We are very sexual. But sometimes it seems all we have is our intamacy, as we are not very close emotionally. We are in some ways, i care for him deeply and i feel he does the same for me. Yet he seems he is more protective of me, jealous/ possessive almost. And doesnt really *care* about how i actually feel sometimes.

We have sex at least once a day and have since we began dating. Its always just Amazing.. I couldnt even put words to how passionate we are in the bedroom. When i tell my friends how much we have sex, they are surprised. Which i kind of agree, we do not go a night without sex and has been like this for 2 years, we are still excited about each other as we were when we first met.
I have never felt like this before with someone. And he says the same thing. I have had other relationships and loved before, whereas he hasnt. He's had relationships here and there but nothing serious.

Emotionally, i dont feel like he's always there for me.. Or even cares. Sometimes there will be an incident, something i wont like or that i want from him and he doesnt seem to take how i feel into consideration. It feels like sometimes he will not validate my feelings.. That im being silly for being upset and over reacting. When i truly feel i am not, that i have a right to feel the way i do.

Its kind of getting to the point of me feeling resentment towards him because of this. Silly things like he expects me to let him know everything i do. Which i dont mind doing at all. Yet he doesnt let me know everything he does, which i wouldnt expect him to yet i have to? IF he went to the bar with friends and didnt let me know, it wouldnt be an issue. If i did this and he called me and i was out with friends at the bar.. There would be an issue. Questions like.. Why didnt you tell me you were going? Why didnt you invite me?
So now it gotten to the point where i call him and hes out with friends and he didnt tell me, I feel like its unfair. If i dare ask the questions he did, he will blow it off and say something like 'Look, im out with friends its not a big deal, i dont want to talk to you right now we will speak later'.. I wouldnt even care except for the fact its completely different for me.

Its not a big deal to me, yet now i feel like im being treated unfairly and it just frustrates me so much. He doesnt grasp that, i dont care about him been with friends.. I care that he expects all this from me and i shouldnt have a say.. Sigh.. I dont know quite what im getting at.. But iv tried to explain it the best i can.

My point being, he doesnt understand how to connect with me, communicate or make me feel good any other way than sex.
How can i talk to him about this? Again when i try, he doesnt validate my feelings. 'Im overthinking, im complicating things, im over reacting'. He will convert it from trying to have a conversation, to hugging me, kissing me, telling me not to worry that he loves me with his all and will continue to try make me feel good sexually.
I sometimes wonder, if i withheld sex.. Would we have anything?
Im not sure how to bring this up to him and actually have a serious conversation about it..

Can someone help me out?

[devonbrown]

It sounds like he is in the category of guys who feel their relationship partners are "property" that needs to be protected. That is why he needs to know your every move but you are not entitled to his every move. Often times this is caused by the guy projecting his own duplicity onto the other person. So watch out for that.

You are two years into a relationship, so it should not be a problem to sit down and have a serious talk with him. If he feels that is too much to ask, then you have a lot of your answers right there.

Just because the sex is good, don't settle for something you are not satisfied with.

Good luck.

[HeartIsAching]

Yes, you're being "kept" by a controlling, possessive and jealous (insecure) man.

You might try communicating with him. Just a thought.

[VincenzoG91]

Amazing sex is great, but it's just one part of the overall relationship. Even if you're having sex an average of once a day, that's still probably less than 5% of your day.

He sounds like a bit of a control freak, asking all those questions. And then he doesn't hold himself accountable to you, which is unfair and a sign that he doesn't consider you to be his equal.

[HereComesTheSun]

Yeah, me thinking we have been together this long, we can talk to each other about anything but this seems to be a burden to him. Like, he gets annoyed when i try ask him about it. Iv tried all different approaches to try bringing it up to him but my efforts are shut down most times. The furthest i get is him listening to what i have to say not much input from him.. but then it will just happen again..
Most of the time he makes me feel like im being silly for even bringing it up. I end up feeling reassured i have nothing to worry about, but then its like i havnt even said a word when it all happens again in a few days.
I love him a lot, and i care about how he feels so i try not to push him.. Yet i just feel like im the one that holds this relationship together. He is disrespectful of my feelings and needs.. So i dont really understand why he is with me at times.

Is it possible that a man would stay with a woman this long just because the sex is so good and he gets it whenever he likes?
What is a good way to approach him about this kind of stuff? Without coming off as being the nagging girlfriend.
I want to try help him understand what my actual issue is here but he refuses..He is so stuck on his own ways its like nobody elses opinion is worth a thought.

And Vicenzo, i do feel like he doesnt see me as his equal, which worries me a lot at times. I know he's old fashioned in that kind of way.. Sometimes if i have anything to say, its always gets turned on me.. That its my fault, if that makes sense.
Sometimes it feels like i just ignore things that should be an issue for me.. Like i am taking the easy path by putting up with his sh*t because i love him so much
I would find it terribly hard to leave him.. I have tried before and he made it extremely hard.. And i ended up giving in to his pleads and promises..
Id just like to try fix things instead of just leaving him.
Because in other ways he has been good to me.. If that makes any sense.

[Kaius]

Don't withhold sex or do anything unnatural. Try to talk about your resentment and the possessiveness. You might be okay with it now, but in the long run it gets hurtful.
Try to do more stuff outside the bedroom so you have more to communicate and connect. Sex will eventually fade more or less... I assume you 2 are quite young.
There needs to be more to a relationship than just sex. Can you imagine staying with him if his dick got chopped off in an accident? That's what I'm talking about.

[HereComesTheSun]

Don't withhold sex or do anything unnatural. Try to talk about your resentment and the possessiveness. You might be okay with it now, but in the long run it gets hurtful.
Try to do more stuff outside the bedroom so you have more to communicate and connect. Sex will eventually fade more or less... I assume you 2 are quite young.
There needs to be more to a relationship than just sex. Can you imagine staying with him if his dick got chopped off in an accident? That's what I'm talking about.

Yeah, i dont really want to rock our relationship by doing something out of the blue like that.. I see him much more than just sex, yet i dont think thats actually mutual. I would be okay if his dick got chopped off.. Id still be happy just having him in my life. I love every minute i spend with him.. (its funny, we spoke about this the other day LOL) Yet, i dont really believe if something happened to me that i couldnt have sex.. I dont believe he would be with me.
We are young, im 20 hes 21.

[JadenMia]

I just want to say, this is how my last relationship started..
Nothing i ever said really 'mattered'. It was like i didnt really have a say in anything that happened. If he did something wrong and i didnt like it, whatever i said was me being silly, it would be my fault, something i did in the past was what had caused it. He couldnt take responsibilty for anything he did. It was always my fault.

The sex, we were the same!! He wanted sex constantly. I could be fully clothed doing laundry, cooking, walking past him and he would fondle me, pull me to him and try to have sex. This was all day and all night. He was the luckiest guy on earth i swear. lol He would get a bj every night, sex twice a day. I loved it, but after a while i wasnt as up for it as i was in the first year. I work full time, have a daughter i get tired on a night!! It would be a big issue if i didnt want to have sex.
One night i was so tired after a long day i just could not bear to have sex. He said 'You suck.. Your boring, i dont know why i bother with you sometimes..'
It was so hurtful..

I just want to warn you, becareful and weary of this man.. It just sounds like my man did when we were together. I felt disrespected all the time, like my opinion wasnt really important. Well it is. And always remember that..
I'm not saying your relationship will turn out to be as bad as mine was.. Its just scarily accurate to how i felt before things turned really sour.

Try talking to him about it again. Stand by what you think is right, dont let him make you think your being silly. If it wasnt an issue for you, you wouldnt be coming to this forum for help right? Just dont let him talk you into thinking anything other than what YOU actually think.. My man had a habit of manupulating me into thinking his way..

Good luck

[Mariahn99]

Hi! I think it´s a very very physical relationship, you must feel comfortable in every single way, love (the feeling) is the most important thing!

Remember it

Take care

Mariahn

[HereComesTheSun]

Thanks, yeah i will look out for that behaviour. I dont think it is too serious.. I just think he doesnt think the way i do. And certainly doesnt understand that i think there is a problem. I just feel like he is ignoring me needs other than sex.

Mariahn - Thanks! Yeah i do love every minute we are together, i love how comfortable we are with each other pysically. We know each others bodies completely, and know exactly how to please and satisfy each other. Its just thats the only time i truly feel loved bu him. As he makes a HUGE effort with me this way. Always makes sure its how i want it, wants me to be pleasured before he has to be.. Just is the most unselfish person in the bedroom. I just wish he was this way in all other aspects in our relationship. If he was.. WOW would he be the perfect partner
I do love him to death though.. He tries to make me happy most of the time. I just think he doesnt really understand how i feel sometimes.. I am going to try talking to him again tonight..

[Kaius]

Sounds like he's a good fellow for you. You just need to explore more activities that don't involve sex. Yes most men want it all the time, but we also enjoy being in love with our perfect lady. I love chatting with my fiancee about anything. We are very much in love and the sex is amazing. But we also know that since we have little kids, we have to learn to enjoy each other outside the bedroom as well. It's funny she grabs my crotch when we're in public, and she's not even aware of it!

[devonbrown]

Is it possible that a man would stay with a woman this long just because the sex is so good and he gets it whenever he likes?

Umm, what cave have you been living in that this is even a question?

[sweetkissesforu]

I just want to say, this is how my last relationship started..
Nothing i ever said really 'mattered'. It was like i didnt really have a say in anything that happened. If he did something wrong and i didnt like it, whatever i said was me being silly, it would be my fault, something i did in the past was what had caused it. He couldnt take responsibilty for anything he did. It was always my fault.

The sex, we were the same!! He wanted sex constantly. I could be fully clothed doing laundry, cooking, walking past him and he would fondle me, pull me to him and try to have sex. This was all day and all night. He was the luckiest guy on earth i swear. lol He would get a bj every night, sex twice a day. I loved it, but after a while i wasnt as up for it as i was in the first year. I work full time, have a daughter i get tired on a night!! It would be a big issue if i didnt want to have sex.
One night i was so tired after a long day i just could not bear to have sex. He said 'You suck.. Your boring, i dont know why i bother with you sometimes..'
It was so hurtful..

I just want to warn you, becareful and weary of this man.. It just sounds like my man did when we were together. I felt disrespected all the time, like my opinion wasnt really important. Well it is. And always remember that..
I'm not saying your relationship will turn out to be as bad as mine was.. Its just scarily accurate to how i felt before things turned really sour.

Try talking to him about it again. Stand by what you think is right, dont let him make you think your being silly. If it wasnt an issue for you, you wouldnt be coming to this forum for help right? Just dont let him talk you into thinking anything other than what YOU actually think.. My man had a habit of manupulating me into thinking his way..

Good luck

i was in a relationship like this you start to feel like a sex object this is a control freak and sexist he thinks the only thing to keep you is sex sad but true
it is not love possesion some men feel it is im sure

[JadenMia]

i was in a relationship like this you start to feel like a sex object this is a control freak and sexist he thinks the only thing to keep you is sex sad but true
it is not love possesion some men feel it is im sure

I agree completely. He sounds unfair, controlling and sexist..