She's Invited me to Thanksgiving in NOLA

[Junket]

I know it's early but excuse me if I come off as a bit giddy at the idea of going back down to New Orleans to share Thanksgiving with the girl I'm preoccupied with. Now I just have to see if my schedule will allow for that come November.

Plus I think visiting her will give me a better idea as to whether our relationship will have room to grow or stagnate.

Oh, and just FYI, I don't really have much in terms of Thanksgivings anymore, so it's not like I'd really be missing anything in terms of my immediate family.

[Gigabitch]

Yay! I'm so excited for you! I know you will make the schedule work out in November.

[Junket]

Yay! I'm so excited for you! I know you will make the schedule work out in November.

You're damn right I'll make it work.

But I like to leave room for doubt.

[vashti]

Of course you will go. What else would you be doing? Yay! I'm glad she is reciprocating your interest.

[Junket]

Of course you will go. What else would you be doing? Yay! I'm glad she is reciprocating your interest.

It's weird.

It's like both of us are still hesitant to openly acknowledge our feelings for eachother verbally. It's all done very subtly, through texts, through letters, or passive comments.

Neither of us is sure what the future holds, so I suppose it's all out of fear of having our hopes crushed.

[vashti]

...and yet, you remain connected! I hope things work out for you, even if only for a while. You deserve some good things coming your way. You are overdue.

[Junket]

I just talked to her on the phone today.

Sometimes I go through these phases of doubt about it all, about whether she cares about me the same as she did, as I don't see it being appropriate to inquire about directly over the phone (as much as I'd like to).

But every week I talk to her on the phone we get along so well bantering back and forth (our way of flirting) constantly picking silly arguments against eachother.

I then brought up that she sent me an official invitation to the Thanksgiving, mostly because I told her to. It made me wonder if she did because she wanted to, or because of the fact I asked her to send it anyway. While in the conversation I told her I was goin' for a walk and jokingly suggested she should come with me, she then replied that if I do I come down for Thanksgiving that I have to go walking with her.

That simply made my night.

Like I said, I've felt like I haven't been getting clear signals as to whether she has been seein' me as just a team mate, or the guy she was getting intimate with.

At this point I am dead set on goin' down for Thanksgiving (which she got excited about), and I think when I get to spend time with her person to person I'll get a better idea as to where when and if it ever gets taken any further or not.

I kinda have to go down since I did promise Chet (a long term volunteer there) that I would.

But seriously, any excuse to see her is a good excuse in my mind.

[vashti]

I love reading your lovestruck posts.

[Junket]

I love and hate the state of mind it all puts me in.

One can't help but feel all giddy.

One also can't help but feel rediculous about feeling so giddy.

It all makes me feel so immature sometimes, because I can't help but view these behaviors as irrational. I guess I've lived too long acting under the impression that I was above these kind of emotions, I did a good job at avoiding them when it was possible, and denying them whenever I succumbed.

[vashti]

You will look back on these feelings with pleasure one day.

[Gigabitch]

Maybe she's still in the "what if? " phase. There's definitely potential. From your posts, I think you're the only one who thinks she just sees you as a team mate. You're a good friend, if nothing else.

But maybe something more...