Really like this girl but she's kinda seeing someone

[titans51]

I'm in college. There is this girl that i really like and her ex boyfriend said that he wants to start dating her again. I asked her about it and she said that they dated off and on all through high school. She also said that he was mean to her when she was at home...and he is treating her better now though. She said that she does really care for him and that he use to be like her best friend. They are kinda dating now it's kinda like a long distance thing.

The problem is that I really like this girl and respect her...and if she needs to make sure that there is nothing there with her ex then she should...but I like her more than anything...would it be wrong to tell her that I like her? I wouldn't want to if it would just complicate things between us. So what should I do??

[Lahrell]

Walk away. Else you'll only end up feeling crap and you will keep hoping for more.

The fact she dates him on and off says enough.

[vashti]

I don't think there is anything wrong with telling her when she becomes available (gets rid of the guy), you'd like to take her out. She's not married, and high school boyfriends rarely last. Just don't date her while she's actively dating him, and be careful with investing too heavily (emotionally speaking).

[Gigabitch]

Your feelings are what's complicating your friendship, not whether or not you tell her about them. You see what I'm saying? You have nothing to lose.

[damn2008]

Dude,I am in the same situation as you, but I actually told the girl I would like to take her out. She said "yes" at first but then realized it was cause I was interested in her so she backed out because she said "I'm not in the mindset to date right now". She was basically letting me down easy...but whatever.

He ex- is long distance as well. They've been on-and-off for a YEAR. He actually took an overseas job b/c she didn't want to get back with him. I think she feels a little guilty and they talk on almost daily basis. I have known her a little over a year, but never said anything cause she was taken (and so was I) until about a year ago...I thought I had an opportune time to ask her but she obviously is very confused about what she wants to do with her ex-.

We're still friends, she still talks to me on an almost daily basis. However, and this might be the case with you...the girl might be flattered you asked her and might like the attention. But you also have to consider you are "risking" your friendship in a sense. She will always know you like her (or have) and whether she acts on it is in her side of the court. You may not hang out anymore because she knows your "intentions". But if she is tore up over her ex-, she is going to be very confused and locked up for a while and only time will tell whether she comes out of that.

[Indignant]

There is this girl that i really like and her ex boyfriend said that he wants to start dating her again. I asked her about it and she said that they dated off and on all through high school. She also said that he was mean to her when she was at home...and he is treating her better now though. She said that she does really care for him and that he use to be like her best friend. They are kinda dating now it's kinda like a long distance thing.

in my opinion, she needs to know that you have developed feelings for her. there's no relationship between her and an ex. he treated her badly, and now is coming back with this new image trying to get her back. he may be her best friend but in no way is he her partner. once again it's an LDR and you are right there. you should have the same rights to have a go at it as the ex.

[Lite]

he may be her best friend but in no way is he her partner. once again it's an LDR and you are right there. you should have the same rights to have a go at it as the ex.

I agree with Dig.

[Nikki-Anne]

This one is very sticky, I was in an off and on relationship with my Ex boyfriend for 6 years. And the guys in between were usually cast aside when he came back to me. Yeah, it was my first love and I guess the guys in between were rebounds. If it is her first love, don't be her rebound until he comes back into the picture. Have a talk with her, and be honest where your feeling are, but let her know you don't want to be a rebound either. Good luck!

[titans51]

I'm still in the same situation she is back with her ex...i'm not sure how serious it is. This guy was like her first serious relationship and first love. I like this girl more and more each day...she is really cool I think if I told her that we would still be friends regardless...but I just can't decide if I should tell her or not. So what do y'all think would be the best thing to do?

[titans51]

If I should, then how should I tell her?

[Cain]

You need to ask yourself a few questions first:

1. How much do you like her? If you have feelings of more than friendship then you aren't really friends. You're kind of just waiting around hoping they break up.

2. Are you willing to lose her friendship? Telling her your feelings might do that.

Personally, I'd choose option number two. Tell her that you like her and to let you know if things don't work out with her and her ex. And then slow down contact. Let it be known that you like her while keeping your dignity. But don't actively try to break them up.

[titans51]

Her and her ex broke up.... I asked her out and she thought about if for a good like 2 minutes...then told me that she thinks that we would fight...because I got into like 2 stupid arguments that would be like minor things to other girls but she has trust issues she told me this when we were friends before I asked her out...idk if it is just that she was hurt in the past or what...but since we had those fights she has acted completly different towards me...I apoligized and she said it was fine but her voice and facial expression didn't seem to agree. I'm still pretty sure that she still thinks badly of me for fighting with her...and regardless she was a really good friend...I dont even care if this would win her over or not but would it be good to like write her an apology and send her flowers? I really care about this girl and I think she is looking for the guy that will treat her right...I am that guy... would a dozen roses and a written apology get that message across? Would that make her realize that i'm sorry and that I care about her and wasn't trying to hurt her?

[alovehangoverr]

Well.. here's the thing-- you asked her out, and it took her 2 minutes to come up with what she thought was an adequate excuse so you'd back off. Seriously, I think if you tried and she rejected you, you should take a step back-- not come on stronger.

You can try and read into it to see what you want, but the bottom line is she said no.

Just to add to that-- she just got out of a relationship with someone that's been a part of her life for a year.. you should probably expect there to be some healing time taken there.