I just had a fight with my boyfriend. It was triggered by a tiny and absurd thing. My boy friend's ex is retrieving her things ( they broke up last year and she got married this year), as they lived together for some years, we can imagine there are plenty of things they bought together. When it comes to a camera, his ex said my boyfriend could take it since her husband has a good one. Later when I learned it, I got angry for my boyfriend for thinking he had been belittled by his ex as if he (and I) couldn't afford a camera and have to pick up sth she doesn't need. I just can't take the camera as it is not given as a gift.
So I told my boyfriend in the email what I felt about the whole thing, and said we could buy a new camera by ourselves that he could decline the camera. My boyfriend replied immediately to me. First of all, he said his ex didn't act like I decribed, she wanted the camera too, but mentionning her husband has a good one only to persuade us to accept the gift. She meant all good. Then he said he would give the camera away if I don't want it (which means he will still take it as she ordered).
My irritation once down was completely stirred again. I couldn't understand why his first response is to take her side and fight me back. He denied it was defending. And he didn't understand why I get so upset for no big deal and why I concentrate on the past her instead of our happy future. Frankly, after the fight, I am confused too. Maybe it is just because I am woman, I don't grow up in America, or I am overwhelmed by jealousy that I lost an objective view?
My questions are 1, what do you guys think? In your eyes, can that be counted as a defending?
2, am I really oversensitive like my boyfriend thinks that I shall just happily let it go?
3, If you were the guy in the story, what would you do? would you have insisted in explaining that your ex' good intention and refused to decline her or just do what your girlfriend said as it is nothing about your principles and you don't want to insist a no big deal which she disliked so much?
A little background: I agreed his remaining friends with his ex-girlfriend, and never against their seeing/calling/emailing each other. I am a mature woman over thirty, believing in every one has his/her old story and feelings that need to be respected.
Guys, please help me with providing your thoughts, no matter how bitter, calling me insane are alright with me. I need your objective views as a third party. Did I ask too much in my case? all answers are welcomed.