Silent Treatment

[franks0920]

I have been dating a guy for a year and a half. When he gets upset about something he never communicates about it. He just pulls back and waits for me to ask whats wrong or why he has been acting distant.
This time he said that he was going to write what he wanted out of a relationship (something I asked him to do several months ago) and that he was sorry for being distant.
I am irritated and we both have not spoken in a week. I am irritated because I feel that he always gets in his moods and expect me to keep running back to him even though he is the one that started the whole silent treatment fiasco.
Should I just ride it out and wait for him to come back or should I just say good riddance to him...if he comes back I will accept him and if he does not then I should just accept that too?

[Lite]

Uhm, why date someone who plays games in the first place? Life has enough real drama without people making it worse because they're attention whores.

[vashti]

I hate pouting. My husband has been known to do this. I used to work really hard to try to pull him out of the silent treatment, but now that I've been married for 1000 years, I just enjoy the silence. He tends to get it together quicker that way anyway.

[annoyed23]

when my man does this, its because its something really big thats impacted him. I let him veg for a week, but after that I will make it known that I notice how he is, and he will snap out of it and possibly tell me whats up.

[Mahasamatman]

Either call him on it or dump him, but for the love of Mike don't just punt.

It's entirely possible that he's got some explanation that will make complete sense to you and you can work out a compromise. Or that he doesn't realize how much this upsets you. But it won't matter if you just let it go for now, because it's not going to stop pissing you off (as well it shouldn't).

[twisted]

pff, silent treaters. what the hell does THAT resolve.

[Lite]

pff, silent treaters. what the hell does THAT resolve.

It's passive-aggressive emotional game playing that people engage in to get attention. Basically they feel that behaving in a negative manner gets them attention, attention makes them feel better about themselves, so they do it.

[Aeradalia]

My ex used to pull the silent treatment all the time.. I consider it to be a very juvenile trait. It conflicts greatly with my 'let's solve the problem so we can get back to good times,' mentality.

The guy I'm with now, he doesn't use the silent treatment on me... he'll say what's on his mind... try to avoid saying things he'll regret when he's angry... and though we both may need some space to calm down (if it's a heated argument)... we do try to solve the problem as soon as possible. Later on, we my even discuss the problem in a calm manner and offer further refinement to the resolution we both came up with.

The only time he is 'silent' is when he thinks he can handle certain issues on his own. That's in the works of being resolved as some things he can handle on his own and some things he really can't (or shouldn't).

Bottom line is.. you can't solve the problems if you don't talk about it. Silent treatment just drags out problems needlessly.

[steelsword]

If it really bothers you that much, tell him. If he won't stop, break up with him and date someone more open.